Deep Drunken Thoughts

[harleybug88]

Have you ever been told that your toes look like gas pumps?

 

[1977Brewer]

Why is there a USPS "Cinco de Mayo" stamp? Or a "Chinese New Year" stamp? What's next, a "Bolshevik Revolution" stamp?
:smack:

Because both cultures, while they have roots in other countries, have a significant slice of this amazing pie we call America?

Dunno, not sure, definitely not the product of immigration of any sort.

 

[smurfjuice]

Have you ever been told that your toes look like gas pumps?

No, but mine look like broken fingers ... :rockin:

 

[gratus fermentatio]

If you put a pair of gloves on a child's feet, said child will automatically imitate a monkey.
Regards, GF.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

If 6 or more people stand in a circle long enough, they will begin to dance.

No one ever actually liked "Achy Breaky". I refuse to think otherwise. If someone somewhere actually did, it would be a solid argument for the existence of Satan, and I would be forced to once again reconsider my agnosticism.

Robin Wright Penn seems to get hotter the older she gets.

Kohlrabi has been available for decades, and I was only exposed to it a few weeks ago. Unfair.

Remember purchasing your last computer? Remember that Styrofoam they put in the computer box? Tell me you didn't squander the opportunity to break it over SWMBOs head. Great dramatic cracking noise with absolutely no injury.

 

[Beernik]

Thinking about taking 10 gallons of water to a Catholic priest for blessing. If he gives me a quizzical look, I'll just say, "I don't need your help for everything."

 

[Beernik]

I'm still really bitter about the lack of rap on MTV in the 80s and the De La Soul vs. Turtles decision.

I need to let that **** go.

 

[slym2none]

Can the dibble switch the light from dark to never being there at alll?

 

[lucas75_75]

if plants screamed when we pulled their fruit would we enjoy them as much?

 

[Psylocide]

if plants screamed when we pulled their fruit would we enjoy them as much?

Is it bad if you answered "more?"

 

[Beernik]

Conehead

 

[gratus fermentatio]

"A meal of fried chicken embryos and beer."

 

[noggins]

Jump in full dingle

 

[Beernik]

I love fight scene subtitles:

Oooh! ARGH! HeeYa! *grunts*

 

[slym2none]

Sounds like my last girlfriend.

Oh, who am I kidding... I've never had a girlfriend that sounded that fun.

 

[joshesmusica]

Sounds like my last girlfriend.

Oh, who am I kidding... I've never had a girlfriend that sounded that fun.

Don't be an a-hole, you idiot. Only morons, and fools, will take a while before realising (sic) that it will go a long way in: how you get on in life.

 

[slym2none]

 

[joshesmusica]

a drunken version of your signature. a deep drunken thought.

 

[slym2none]

O-kayyy...

 

[Beernik]

Soon to be a drunken memory:

*sofa stuck halfway up the stairs*

Wife: How did we get this sofa in the basement?

Me: We were 13 years younger and doing Kung Fu everyday.

Wife: How about if we take it apart downstairs. It's going to the dump anyway.

Me: Ok. You get the scissors and a knife. I'll get the hammer.

*Two hours later*

Me: Lets never do this again.

 

[noggins]

don't ever poop in a urinal. it's not worth it.

 

[freebeertomorrow]

I cut up and bagged a king a size mattress for the trash once. I have a scar. Not worth it.

 

[Beernik]

I'm not sure if my cat washes my arm because he thinks I'm the dominate cat or because I'm tasty and he wants to eat me.

 

[slym2none]

 

[slym2none]

Don't fall for a member of the opposite sex that is homosexual.

Don't do that.

 

[lucas75_75]

I'm not sure if my cat washes my arm because he thinks I'm the dominate cat or because I'm tasty and he wants to eat me.

I believe all cats would eat you if they were big enough.

 

[joshesmusica]

I believe all cats would eat you if they were big enough.

i'm with you. all cats are inherently evil. the smaller, domestic versions just use that evil to torture humans emotionally. it's like they figured out how to "eat" us from the inside as an evolutionary response to their size.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Plant a patch of catnip near a birdbath and/or bird feeder & watch the fun. Stoned cats, spazzing over birds flitting about. Toss a handful of peanuts out there & squirrels will show up & add to the fun. heh, heh, heh...
Regards, GF.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Don't fall for a member of the opposite sex that is homosexual.

Don't do that.

My first two major girlfriends are both married to women... I understand.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Why is it that even when pissed-off, covered in dirt, sweat & zombie goo, some women are still hotter than hell?
For example:

 

[Billy-Klubb]

don't ever poop in a urinal. it's not worth it.

to each their own. I like them fancy standin' up turlets!

 

[slym2none]

I'mma go start drinking and brew an Irish red. Extract with steeping grains. I have 2 Paulaner Oktoberfests, a DirtWolf, and a Stone Ruination.

Any bets on which is done first, the wort or the beers? I'll BBL with the answer!

 

[slym2none]

The beers ran out first... but I now have 2.25 gallons of Irish Red waiting for the Notty to take over.

Whee..........

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Why does time flow so much faster when I'm online?

 

[noggins]

this. all day long. merika. thank you.
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_vivC7c_1k&list=PLuKg-WhduhkksJoqkj9aJEnN7v0mx8yxC&index=1&ab_channel=CollegeHumor[/ame]

 

[vanishingpint]

Would you buy fried chicken from a guy named Turd Ferguson ? Cause it's a funny name.

 

[Resonator]

Would you buy fried chicken from a guy named Turd Ferguson ? Cause it's a funny name.

Depends on how good it smelled and how clean everything looked.

 

[slym2none]

Hey Norm! If you were a hot-dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself? I know I would... slather myself in brown mustard & relish... I'd be so delicious!

 

[DrunkleJon]

Why is it that I always seem to be wearing a white or light shirt when eating something messy like hot wings? And why do I always dump sauce on my shirt?

 

[slym2none]

Why is it someone has to step on my brand-new pair of shoes?

Every. Damn. Time.