Compromise Sucks!

[Grinnan5150]

My wife has recently informed me that my all grain brewing has cut into spending time with my family on the weekends. I guess I have no point to argue because she is right. We both work full time so the weekends are our only time to really spend together with each other and the kids. With an all grain batch taking 5-6 hours (for me anyway) I guess she has a pretty good point.

I suggested that I revert back to making extract batches instead of stopping brewing. It cuts the time in half to the point that I could make a batch after everyone goes to bed on a weeknight and have my weekends free.

I have made some really good extract batches but it just kind of stinks because I feel like it's regressing in a way. Family comes first but I will miss all grain brewing. When the kids get older I'll pick it up again. Until then, guess extract and steeping grains it is.

This isn't meant to be a troll post or anything. Just wondering if anyone else was in the same boat? In the grand scheme of things this is a non-issue because family always comes first and brewing is just a hobby.

 

[JohnnyO]

I hear you brother. We haven't yet had this same conversation, but I have had it in my head. I used to brew every three weeks or so before my son was born last year. Since then, I've just curtailed it to every 2-3 months. I really haven't taken a hit in the pipeline much as I now brew 10 gallon batches. While I don't brew as often, it is a full day thing, for the most part.

You're right though, you can make a very good beer using extract. You can always go back to All Grain when you have more free time. Maybe set it up to do AG batches twice a year?

 

[BrewinHooligan]

I haven't had this come up yet, but my wife doesn't seem to mind me not being around on brew day. Have you tried an overnight mash to try and cut time down on brew day? Then wake up early for the boil and still have time with the family while keeping up with all grain. I would try that before going back to extract pesonally.

 

[zeekage]

I know people have done overnight mashes. Maybe you could use that technique to still do AG batches over 2 weeknights. Mash in friday night, boil/chill saturday early morning before anything interesting happens. Just a suggestion. I've never done this, but do a search for overnight mashing and you'll find lots of info.

 

[dryboroughbrewing]

When things get too hectic to brew on the weekends I'll often just brew at night, if I dough in at 8 (when my daughter goes to bed) I'll be done by about 1 am. This gives me about 6 hours of sleep, and I really never sleep more than that anyway. Flood lamps for the driveway were a great investment.

 

[Revvy]

Do you brew somewhere off site and are gone all day? I don't understand if you're at home brewing why you can't play with the kids and tickle the wife during all the considerable down time that AG brewing entails. 90% of all grain brewing is sitting on our asses drinking beer while we wait for something to happen. We have an hour mash, it takes time for water to boil, we have usually a half hour between hop additions, and waiting for the beer to chill. We don't really need to hover over everything. Why can't you be playing frisbee or a boardgame or something with the wife and kids in and around all that? I know brewer friends with kids who do stuff with them while brewing.

I bet if you cart your wife off to the bedroom or even to the back seat of the minivan for a slap and tickle while you're mashing every now and then, she won't ***** about your brew days ever again.

 

[sonofgrok]

Option #2: You get your wife and kids excited about helping you brew and do it together. Voila... family time.

 

[Grinnan5150]

Do you brew somewhere off site and are gone all day? I don't understand if you're at home brewing why you can't play with the kids and tickle the wife during all the considerable down time that AG brewing entails. 90% of all grain brewing is sitting on our asses drinking beer while we wait for something to happen. We have an hour mash, it takes time for water to boil, we have usually a half hour between hop additions, and waiting for the beer to chill. We don't really need to hover over everything. Why can't you be playing frisbee or a boardgame or something with the wife and kids in and around all that? I know brewer friends with kids who do stuff with them while brewing.

I don't brew offsite but I'm extremely anal. I brew in the garage and am always paranoid of the propane burner catching the garage on fire so I'm usually out there during the whole process. My daughter is 2 and have tried having her out there with me but she is constantly getting into things in the garage that she shouldn't.

I agree that I could probably step back from the kettle but I work in property claims so I see people burning their house down with propane burners and BBQ grills all the time. That's probably why I'm paranoid about leaving the kettle.

 

[Revvy]

Option #2: You get your wife and kids excited about helping you brew and do it together. Voila... family time.

Yes!!!! There's plenty of dads (and maybe a couple of moms) on here who have the kids help bottle and do other stuff. One of my friends with kids lets them do the hop additions. There's plenty of stuff they can help with.

 

[Spartangreen]

Same boat here. Time at my house is a challange.
If your worried about quality of your beers. Pick up the book Brewing Classic Styles, all the recipes are extract, with all-grain or partial mash options.
They all make really good beer.

 

[Revvy]

I don't brew offsite but I'm extremely anal. I brew in the garage and am always paranoid of the propane burner catching the garage on fire so I'm usually out there during the whole process. My daughter is 2 and have tried having her out there with me but she is constantly getting into things in the garage that she shouldn't.

I agree that I could probably step back from the kettle but I work in property claims so I see people burning their house down with propane burners and BBQ grills all the time. That's probably why I'm paranoid about leaving the kettle.

And in all the years of brewing I've never heard it happening during a brew day...Maybe you need to step back from your analness and paranoia a bit...maybe that's what's putting a wall up between you and your family in terms of brewing.

Like I said, plenty of Parents who brew DON'T have the same issues from their spouses as you do now, because they've figured out how to balance the two.

If you're going to brew in the garage, why can't you set up a card table and play a board game with the wife and kids while it's going on?

 

[Grinnan5150]

Same boat here. Time at my house is a challange.
If your worried about quality of your beers. Pick up the book Brewing Classic Styles, all the recipes are extract, with all-grain or partial mash options.
They all make really good beer.

Awesome, I'll pick that book up this weekend! Thanks!

 

[mredge73]

Who said that you cannot brew together as a family?
How many days a month do you spend time with her doing what she wants to do?

My wife doesn't have any hobbies so it is hard for her to understand why I have so many. Her work (school teacher) is her life, works stops for me the instant I step into my truck to come home.
I loose a lot of sleep when I have to satisfy my video game addiction (while drinking home brew) until after she goes bed.
So rather than giving it up maybe you are just brewing too much or too often.
I brew once every 6 weeks or so, 1 day out of 12 is not asking much. Unless you are brewing every weekend it sounds like she is being a little selfish or hinting at you to stop drinking.

 

[Grinnan5150]

Who said that you cannot brew together as a family?
How many days a month do you spend time with her doing what she wants to do?

My wife doesn't have any hobbies so it is hard for her to understand why I have so many. Her work (school teacher) is her life, works stops for me the instant I step into my truck to come home.
I loose a lot of sleep when I have to satisfy my video game addiction (while drinking home brew) until after she goes bed.
So rather than giving it up maybe you are just brewing too much or too often.
I brew once every 6 weeks or so, 1 day out of 12 is not asking much. Unless you are brewing every weekend it sounds like she is being a little selfish or hinting at you to stop drinking.

My wife has no interest in homebrewing so it's not something we can really do as a family. My daughter is not quite old enough yet to be helping me with a lot of the process but in a year or so she will so that will be fun.

 

[ReverseApacheMaster]

Seems like the safe option either way is not to run a propane burner inside your garage.

Isn't the better compromise that you dedicate an equal number of hours on the weekend to them as you do to yourself brewing? You get some time to relax and enjoy time by yourself but you also spend time with the family.

 

[dbrewski]

I agree with Revvy, I often plan my mash around the day's events, leaving it to go longer if I am still running around with kids, or doing errands. Or the overnight mash like some talk about here, and get up early the next day. Get some Fermcap, and you don't have to stand there staring at your kettle wondering if it's about to boil over, then you can be more relaxed about it and not have to stay right there. It's amazing how people perceive you as "being there" if you are stopping by, talking to them, etc. at different points in the process rather than just hidden away in your brew area.

If you are worried about your house burning down, try to put your brewstand out on the driveway, or go electric (OK there are costs to do that). Just throwing out some strategies. Good luck!

 

[mredge73]

My wife has no interest in homebrewing so it's not something we can really do as a family. My daughter is not quite old enough yet to be helping me with a lot of the process but in a year or so she will so that will be fun.

My wife doesn't drink so she also in uninterested.
She uses the time that I am brewing to do things like getting her nails done, visiting her parents, shopping for herself, hanging out with her girlfriends, watching a cheesy chick flick, or some combination of the above. None of which I have any desire to participate in.

Sometimes these even collide so I end up cooking a big meal on my HLT burner during the boil for her guests.

 

[Revvy]

... It's amazing how people perceive you as "being there" if you are stopping by, talking to them, etc. at different points in the process rather than just hidden away in your brew area.

This!

 

[doesbenfoldfive]

Make a homebrew friend and split batches and time brewing.

 

[jonmohno]

When I brew,everybodys gots to stay away,and get out of the kitchen. Especially Post boil.I was brewing every weekend almost until Late spring/ summer.My finace still respects me for my space.I do admit the brewtime cuts family time but really? 5-7 hours,is not much compared to the rest of the weekend.I usually got up before everybody and by 10 am I was finished.Thats only a few hours out of family-fun(ha) time. And besides they are watching cartoons or shes on the internet or cleaning anyway(and yeah-I clean too)There are times when families are together and when they are not. I really dont see why you would have to cut all grain completly out,I would do it ocassionally if you really want to,but you have a good reason for extract if those few hours are that important to you. I dont use extract because it costs more, and I have control over the grainbill,thats my reason. Shortening up time is a perfect reason for extract brewing.
Sometimes I would take a day off of work- to brew, like right now I could be brewing but Im not because I have about 5-7 large full boxes of various homebrew and a Very -full refrigerater loaded with various craft beer in my basement.

 

[jtejedor]

I don't even have kids but the wifey wasn't too psyched about me brewing all day. Sometimes I would try to do double batches and that did literally take all freaking day. I have moved to overnight mashing. It cuts the brewday almost in half. I usually gather water and crush grain thursday night. When I get home from work friday night I start the mash. I used to collect the first and second runnings and get them up to boiling temperature because I had heard of people saying the wort could get soured in an overnight mash. That took a really long time and I wouldn't get to bed until like 1 am and then have to wake up really early the next morning so that kind of blew. Last few batches I have just left the mash overnight and started collecting running the next morning and have not noticed any difference. Granted the temperatures at night don't dip too low here so we will see in the winter. Have noticed a tiny bit more attenuation with overnight mashing but nothing crazy high. A longer mash seems to help efficiency just a bit too. I usually get up at 5 or 6 to start collecting runnings and start boiling. Even moving really slow I can get brew day rapped up before noon including cleaning. It just feels better to me, like brewing did not consume the whole day. And yeah my wife would never sit there with me, she hates the smell of the mash and hops.

 

[rhamilton]

I've talked to 3-4 people in the past month who are having trouble regarding brew time and family time. Seems like other people have discouraged them from going mini-mash but I don't get it. Half of my taps at home are usually mini-mash and not anyone (brewer, or non-brewer) can tell the difference between the two and I've probably gotten more compliments on my mini-mash brews than my all-grain batches.

I say go forward and enjoy your mini-mash brewing. Use 100% RO water and the extract will provide all the trace elements you need. I can do a mini-mash from start-to-fermenter in a hair over two hours (cleaning & prep included).