I just sent this email to Similac

Dear Similac,

When my wife had our son eight months ago, I decided that the responsible thing to do would be to sign up for all the baby-related rewards programs I could think of. I hoped to get coupons and offers on diapers, formula, baby clothes, books... all the things my wife and I would be spending money on in the care of our son.

And then I saw that I made a mistake. You see, I think I have inadvertently lied to the good folks at Similac. When envelopes addressed to my name started showing up with "Strong Moms!" on the outside and praising my decision to join "The Sisterhood of Motherhood", I felt my heart sink. I am not a mom... I'm not capable of being a mom... I'm just a dad who wanted $5 off the large Similac Complete with Iron (stage 2!).

Considering our relationship is based on an inadvertent falsehood, I am left with so many questions. Should I come clean to God and the world, that I am not a new mother? Should I change my Strong Moms account over to my wife, who is actually both a mom and decidedly strong? Should I use the coupons you have been sending for $5 off the large Similac Advanced with Iron (stage 2!) at the store, knowing they might not really be intended for me? Similarly, should I send my wife out with the coupons, so she can ethically redeem them for $5 off the Similac Advanced with Iron (stage 2!)? What is the proper protocol?

Alas, this has been weighing very heavily on my mind now. Your assistance, and forgiveness, is requested.

Sincerely, James Frank Babiarz (apparently a Strong Mom and a member of the Sisterhood of Motherhood)

HA!

I did the same exact thing when my daughter was born 2 years ago and when I started getting the Similac $5 off coupon with someone else’s name, I thought I'm sure glad I have these $5 coupons because man that stuff is expensive.

We moved last autumn and about a month later, my 20 y/o son received a package from a baby formula company welcoming him. WTF?

Pappers_ said:

We moved last autumn and about a month later, my 20 y/o son received a package from a baby formula company welcoming him. WTF?

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We just got the same g*****ned thing. We have no kids. WTF, similac?

You go girl.

It's cool. I'm a proud Amazon Mom.

At least now you are authorized to use the women's bathroom, Creamy! I hear they are much nicer than the guys'.

Homercidal said:

At least now you are authorized to use the women's bathroom, Creamy! I hear they are much nicer than the guys'.

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Duckie: We don't have none of this stuff in the boy's room! Wait a minute! We don't got none of this... we don't got doors on the stalls in the boy's room, we don't have, what is this? What's this? We don't have a candy machine in the boy's room. I want the principal here right now. I'll wait.

Homercidal said:

At least now you are authorized to use the women's bathroom, Creamy! I hear they are much nicer than the guys'.

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It really is. We crap in the women's room at work when they aren't there.

Creamy, relax. You're a great mom! Strong too, I'll bet. This is the 21st century, men can now be women, women can now be men, and everybody can be just as androgynous as they like; David Bowie & Elton John said so, I think.
Regards, GF.

Creamy?

I have only wrote one letter to a company in my life.

One time I bought a case of snack mix at Sam's and every single bag was devoid of rye chips, by far the best attribute of snack mixes.

I expected I would be rewarded with a giant, and I mean giant, bag of rye chips.

However, all I got was a coupon to get a large bag of snack mix.

My vendetta begins ...

Creamy I think you jumped onto your menstrual cycle and started ridding around too soon.

Homercidal said:

At least now you are authorized to use the women's bathroom, Creamy! I hear they are much nicer than the guys'.

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Uh yeah, because they have a bidet...

"It's for washing your back-side, right!?" (Name that movie)

Natdavis777 said:

Uh yeah, because they have a bidet...

"It's for washing your back-side, right!?" (Name that movie)

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"Some nitwit's put two dunnies in here!"

MaxStout said:

"Some nitwit's put two dunnies in here!"

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Nice job sir. Love that movie. Watched the VHS so many times it turned "snowy"

As long as you don't sit when you pee

ErieShores said:

As long as you don't sit when you pee

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Negative....

But on the subject, if you sit down to take a smash, and you end up not being able to, yet you have pissed, do you sit there and try and muster something out, or give up and own up to the fact that you just sat down to pee...?

We were an Enfamil family.

Tastes great.
Less filling.

lol I cant wait to get started with this.. Going to be a stay at home Dad when I get back home.. already an Amazon Mom.. get to sign up for Mommy and Me... oh yay.

Whenever I see a thread like this started by Creamy, I can't put the damn phone down.

I'm proud of your honesty and transparency to Similac. Good on ya.

Now back to my IPA. Cheers

Here's what really bugs me... my dear Grandfather (RIP Grandpa) in 1954 would stop at the store to get diapers after work. Dads have been baby product customers for decades upon decades. Seems like a serious oversight to me...

For the record, though, Im not all that butthurt about being called a mom or a sister, though I do hate being called "ma'am" over the phone.

Dads are baby product customers, but I'd wager that lots of Dads aren't the baby product decision maker, (i.e., they're buying what Mom told them to buy and they better not improvise or else.)

Roadliner said:

lol I cant wait to get started with this.. Going to be a stay at home Dad when I get back home.. already an Amazon Mom.. get to sign up for Mommy and Me... oh yay.

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CreamyGoodness said:

Here's what really bugs me... my dear Grandfather (RIP Grandpa) in 1954 would stop at the store to get diapers after work. Dads have been baby product customers for decades upon decades. Seems like a serious oversight to me...

For the record, though, Im not all that butthurt about being called a mom or a sister, though I do hate being called "ma'am" over the phone.

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Yes it is the part society leaves out. Dad's being involved much less stay at home Dad's raising the kids.

I would not hesitate to correct the poor person on the other end of the phone for calling you ma'am.

Go Dad's!

CreamyGoodness said:

Here's what really bugs me... my dear Grandfather (RIP Grandpa) in 1954 would stop at the store to get diapers after work. Dads have been baby product customers for decades upon decades. Seems like a serious oversight to me...

For the record, though, Im not all that butthurt about being called a mom or a sister, though I do hate being called "ma'am" over the phone.

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I once told a Best Buy employee (over the phone) that I was Gwen (my step sister) and I wanted to know exactly where the stuff I bought online from them was. The guy paused for a second & then just went with it.
Apparently it's bad juju to doubt guys named Gwen.
Regards, GF.

^^^http://youtu.be/WOHPuY88Ry4

ErieShores said:

As long as you don't sit when you pee

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Does it count if you only do it when you get up to pee in the middle of the night and don't want to turn on a light or have to worry about aiming?

I'm only asking because a ... uhm ... "friend" wants to know. He drinks a lot of homebrew and is getting up in years, and the middle-of-the-night pee has become a regular thing. Is he still a man?

Pappers_ said:

We moved last autumn and about a month later, my 20 y/o son received a package from a baby formula company welcoming him. WTF?

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JonM said:

We just got the same g*****ned thing. We have no kids. WTF, similac?

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We also got one of those a year or so ago, which does not lighten the mood much while being on the losing end of fertility issues. /buzzkill

I'm sure they just send them out automatically to anyone who appears to fit within a vague demographic of child-bearing age. 20 is pretty young though.

CreamyGoodness said:

Here's what really bugs me... my dear Grandfather (RIP Grandpa) in 1954 would stop at the store to get diapers after work. Dads have been baby product customers for decades upon decades. Seems like a serious oversight to me...

For the record, though, Im not all that butthurt about being called a mom or a sister, though I do hate being called "ma'am" over the phone.

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It's just another example of the de-balling of the American male. All the commercials and MSM shows that depict us as scared, stupid, and . It's about time to show the world what happens when you piss off the average male, again.

Ok... I am not over the moon that I am a "Strong Mom" but I gotta tell ya, the program is a pretty good one. For Father's day, they had a promotion where Strong Moms just send in a bunch of pictures and receive a photo coffee mug free in the mail soon after. Free coffee mugs are good.

I just got this catalog from Justice. It made me think of this thread.

The catalog is not "Mom's". It's mine. It has my name on it. Why? Mom doesn't take our daughter back-to-school shopping. Dad does it. Dad has always done it. Mom has never even stepped into your damn store.

There are three times I actually enjoy shopping:
1) Hardware store. It's like telling a 5-year-old they won a $500 shopping spree at toys-r-us.
2) Christmas shopping. I think it invokes that hunter-gatherer instinct. I make a list, I stalk my prey, and I kill it.
3) Back-to-school shopping. I'm a sadistic bastard.

Unfortunately for my wife, my daughter has hit the age where it is embarrassing for Dad to buy you underwear. She has that duty now.