Cider Smells Boozey

Two weeks ago, I threw 2G of local UV-pasteurized cider into a mr beer keg along with 1.5C brown sugar (that had been heated to 160 in some cider an cooled) and some Nottingham ale yeast. It bubbled nicely for almost two days.

I now have a keglet full of opaque butterscotch-colored fluid that smells strooooongly of booze, even though I checked the gravity last week just after the bubbling stopped, and the ABV only appears to be around 5%.

Do I have junk, or what? Shouldn't I expect something clearer? Do I bottle and hope for the best?

Time, patience, and then a little more time. Cider does not move along like beer does. It takes a lot longer to clear on its own. That green alcohol bite will be there until it ages for a while. Some pectic enzyme at the beginning would help it clear faster but it still wont happen in a 2 day period.
You can stick it in the fridge and cold crash out the remaining yeast to clear it up some.

awesome. many thanks! i tried a mr beer cider kit before and it cleared rather rapidly (i now realize that i was starting with a syrup there though, and not a proper cider), and i figured i'd done something stupid. i'll just stop thinking about it and let it do its thing. thanks again!

It also helps to ferment a constant low temp (55-65) to avoid creating fusel alcohols.