I am an idiot

I thought you all would like this,
"Is bottled beer nuclear bombproof? The United States government conducted a couple tests in the 1950s to find out—it exploded nuclear bombs with 'packaged commercial beverages' deposited at varying distances from the blast center to see if beer and soda would be safe to drink afterwards. The finding? Yep, surviving bottled and canned drinks can be consumed in the event of a nuclear holocaust, without major health risks."

US Military Tested the Effects of a Nuclear Holocaust On Beer

And we thought our government was f..ed up bunch of idiots. They cant be near the idiots we are!

something wrong with that previous post......'cause they are a bunch of F'ed up idiots. I must be

A clock whose motion hast ceased, still points rightly twice each day.

Failed to consider what flavors may be imparted by turtles strange have they. Seek to make criminal all us who dry croc upon this plane. A gathering of defectives and flea brains are they.

With trouts in one hand and mash paddles in the other shalt we slay those who stand between us and our brew!

There's stuff floating up and down in my primary. Is my beer ruined?

Observe.

Hamsterbite said:

Just an idea for the Idiot IPA label.

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Awesome. I don't know if you're a genius or an idiot. I'm leaning toward idiot.

grem135 said:

I thought you all would like this,
"Is bottled beer nuclear bombproof? The United States government conducted a couple tests in the 1950s to find out—it exploded nuclear bombs with 'packaged commercial beverages' deposited at varying distances from the blast center to see if beer and soda would be safe to drink afterwards. The finding? Yep, surviving bottled and canned drinks can be consumed in the event of a nuclear holocaust, without major health risks."

US Military Tested the Effects of a Nuclear Holocaust On Beer

And we thought our government was f..ed up bunch of idiots. They cant be near the idiots we are!

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All we need is a bottle big enough to fit in....

Is that why 22 ouncers are called bombers?

WesleyS said:

Is that why 22 ouncers are called bombers?

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cause 22 oz bottles are DA BOMB?!?!?!?

Obliviousbrew said:

cause 22 oz bottles are DA BOMB?!?!?!?

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Yes, yes they are.........

I tricked 'em. Everyone at work knows I brew beer. Now I'm drinking beer at work. I told them it's non-alcoholic beer, and they're all buying it!


ahahhahahahha sudkcvers!!!

Ya know you get a lot more mileage out of your turtle if you just shave it instead of trying to mash the whole thing. You don't need a whole turtle unless your brewing a porter or stout.

static said:

Ya know you get a lot more mileage out of your turtle if you just shave it instead of trying to mash the whole thing. You don't need a whole turtle unless your brewing a porter or stout.

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How long do you have to wait before its ready for shaving again?

How many batches do you usually get out of it?

Can you substitute shaved turtle for shaved beaver?

Skagdog said:

How long do you have to wait before its ready for shaving again?

How many batches do you usually get out of it?

Can you substitute shaved turtle for shaved beaver?

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I´ll trade you a shaved turtle for a shaved beaver any time

Obliviousbrew said:

I´ll trade you a shaved turtle for a shaved beaver any time

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I see what you did there...

I try to combine my shaved turtle with a shaved beaver at every opportunity. Makes for a much more pleasant brew day.

Here's a filthy joke, why does no one have sex on Thanksgiving?

CreamyGoodness said:

Here's a filthy joke, why does no one have sex on Thanksgiving?

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why?

On account of all of the coats on the bed!...

:d

creamygoodness said:

on account of all of the coats on the bed!...

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That's just a dirty joke. It would have been filthy if it was coals on the bed, which is what I thought I saw the first time.

Wow, it's been five hours and no posts! Is anyone there? Hello.......hello......hello

It's Friday, they will be back in true form soon. LOL. Unfortunately I'm at work wishing I had a pint.

grem135 said:

It's Friday, they will be back in true form soon. LOL. Unfortunately I'm at work wishing I had a pint.

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That's weird. I have a pint wishing I was at work.
Am I an idiot?

Aren't we all?

But that May be a little over the top
Edit: but then I quit job making 2-3 times what I'm getting now because the OT was killing me. 60-70 hour a week.
Am I an idiot? But then I would not started homebrew if I stayed there. Hmmmmm

grem135 said:

But that May be a little over the top

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Over the top of a nice turtle ale, dry croced with hamster bits added at bottling.

WesleyS said:

That's weird. I have a pint wishing I was at work.
Am I an idiot?

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This has already been answered, Why don't you use the "search" at the top of the screen. Stop wasting our time with technical questions that have already been answered.

Geez.

By the way, is my batch ruined?

Probably. Bottle or keg and send to me for testing

Skagdog said:

By the way, is my batch ruined?

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Did you:

A. Add 50 extra ingredients to your beer?
B. Not read anything about home brewing before your first batch? And probably never even heard the word homebrew more than once or twice before this forum?
C. Not use a thermometer or hydrometer? Or even know what a hydrometer is?
D. Pitch yeast and ferment slightly under the temperature of the surface of the sun?
E. Leave in primary for only four days?
F. Secondary?
G. Not mix in priming sugar, or forget it all together?
H. Rinse all equipment after using Star San because you fear the foam?
I. Not clean all your bottles or keg properly, leaving dried yeast and mold in them?
J. Open a bottle that's been conditioning for only two days and wonder why it isn't carbed or doesn't taste right?
K. Have exploding shrapnel and beer all over the place?
L. All or some of the above?
M. Recently discover you're an idiot?

Yes, it's most likely, probably, maybe, without a doubt, certainly, possibly, ruined. But just let it ride for a few years and see if it gets better. Never dump a batch! Even if it tastes like the southbound side of a northbound skunk.

I am so glad i was not taking a drink when i read that. My tablet might never have recovered.

Birth of Stumbling bumbling Idiot BIPA.

Wait, wait, wait...that's better.

Hamsterbite said:

Wait, wait, wait...that's better.

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The starter.....the starter's bubblin'......the starter...is bubbling fast.....there's a brew day in the future....there's a brew day in the future....there's a brew day in the future somewhere....

Hamsterbite said:

Birth of Stumbling bumbling Idiot BIPA.

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Man I wish I could brew mine in the same time frame! It's first on my to do list for when I get home.

Hamsterbite said:

Wait, wait, wait...that's better.

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Hey, where's your croc?

Leadgolem said:

Hey, where's your croc?

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Or turtles?

Per Grandpa's teachings, it's too early for crocs. "After a while, crocodile" he always said.

I count four different turtles in that pic...are you turtleblind? Not judging if you are.

Hamsterbite said:

Per Grandpa's teachings, it's too early for crocs. "After a while, crocodile" he always said.

I count four different turtles in that pic...are you turtleblind? Not judging if you are.

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Turtle blindness is a serious condition that affects tens of people in the US every year. Instead of joking about it maybe you should take it more serious. A little kindness and understanding goes a long way for those who have to suffer in silence from this horrible condition, too embarrassed to speak up and let others know what they're going through. Imagine having to lie to your child when they ask you if their pet turtle is cute, but you can't see it to know. They hand it to you, but all you see is an empty hand. Or when they lose said turtle and you are of no help finding it until you here a crunch under your feet and because you're turtleblind you can't hurry and scoop up the smashed carcass before your child comes in to see it. Or you stand there like an idiot at an aquarium wondering what everyone is oohing and aahing about for an hour, and only later do you realize its the sea turtle exhibit. No joking matter at all is it?