RANT- Automatic toilets

Look, I don't rant here often...some would say not nearly often enough. But I've had to travel a lot here lately and I am really SICK TO DEATH of automatic toilets in the airport.

Everytime...everytime... I lug my junk in the stall, squeeze the door shut and just about the time I latch it...SWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHH! The ever-so-smart automatic toiley decides to spew its arosolized airport-offal goodness all over my bags and the backs of my legs. Eeeyew! Eeeeeyew! Stop it!!

But you can't stop it, and there's a good chance that it'll go off again while you're sitting there doing your business, giving the backs of your thighs a nice dousing. Now, you are forced to try to dry your legs with the 0.02 micron-thick toilet paper. Real effective, that.

And then, when I'm getting on the plane, I just know that at least every other female on the flight has also had the airport sewer-spray treatment and we are all just sucking those molecules right in our nostrils as we sit in close quarters. Just who was the bright engineer who thought up this circle of Hell? Why, damn you? WHY??

LOL. I hate those frickin toilets that go off at random times.

I think the guy that made those also made the radar for the automatic doors at the grocery store.

It's really part of a program to increase the humidity on-board the planes, thereby reducing the chances of static cling destroying sensitive avionics. So, all of us pointers appreciate your sacrifice.

I also like the automatic faucets that give you one-tenth the water flow needed to clean your hands, but make up it by running ten times as long before they shut off.

I love how when you try to "layer" the seat the damn thing will keep going off when you turn to get more TP, usually sucking it all down it's evil porcelain (or steel) throat. I think we guys get even more grossed out about it since we pee standing up. But when yuh have to take a dump, the last thing you want is a wet ass.

Not the xcelerator. That's some bathroom techology done right!



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Yeah, the Excelerator is cool but I also hate the toilets that flush before you can inspect the fruits of your labor!

I want one of those xlerators soooo bad. That's just friggin awesome!

Evets said:

Yeah, the Excelerator is cool but I also hate the toilets that flush before you can inspect the fruits of your labor!

Click to expand...

Amen!!!

How am I supposed to adjust my fiber intake, if I can't evaluate my fiber output?

First things first... I hang a little piece of tp over that damn sensor before the turn-around... 3 squares draped over works every time!

Lonnie Mac said:

First things first... I hang a little piece of tp over that damn sensor before the turn-around... 3 squares draped over works every time!

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+1
I figured that out when I was on one that would flush every time I would "lean to wipe"..

Evets said:

Yeah, the Excelerator is cool but I also hate the toilets that flush before you can inspect the fruits of your labor!

Click to expand...

If you're seeing fruit, you're not chewing your food enough!

Evets said:

Yeah, the Excelerator is cool but I also hate the toilets that flush before you can inspect the fruits of your labor!

Click to expand...

What, you don't like getting a free ball wash????:cross:

Have you guys ever been to China? Here's a sight for ya... (Please pass the TP!)

http://members.virtualtourist.com/m/p/m/2212bf



Be glad you have a ballwasher!!! Imagine taking the Cleveland Browns to the Superbowl having to use this!!!

Even worse - Imagine being $hit-face and taking a #2... talk about falling in...

I went to China (Qinhuangdao) and stayed at my first 5-star Holiday Inn. (Didn't know one existed) Its the only place that had a bowl. Talk about pinching one off after over-eating. I bascally slept and crapped there.

Imagine having the runs and having this hole to use.

Visitors for the Beijing Olympics will have some surprises....

It's kind of hard to courtesy flush an auto commode as well!