Two Part Question about Bottle Conditioning

1) Which is better -- (Extra) Pale DME, Dextrose, or Table Sugar?
2) Why does it take so long for DME to bottle condition, as compared to glucose? I've had bottles for two weeks that were very lightly fizzy, compared to a table sugar batch that carbed almost instantly... chemistry or operator error?

DME has maltose, and isn't 100% fermentable (same as your beer). IIRC, in Germany where law forbids anything in beer other than barley, water, hops and yeast, they use wort as the primer when bottle conditioning. Unless you're in it for purity's sake (and can tolerate bottle bombs or undercarbed beer until you get the exact proportions figured out), use dextrose or table sugar. Either of the latter are 100% fermentable by the yeast.

YOu're just looking to carbonate here, not much more than that.

1) just go with dextrose, it's the easiest to use.
2) i think because the yeast have an easier time eating up the dextrose/glucose.

Thanks for the answers... I'm sure more than me are looking for them