You know you're a home brewer when?

beergolf said:

If you have a wife then changing the temps is a lot more dificult. Luckily I have a big old three story house. Tons of different temp zones. So I do have fermenters all over the house depending on the temp I want. I have a fermentation chamber but often more brews going than will fit in it.

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Harumph. In this house "wife" is the one wondering if we can turn the temp down... However we also are lucky to have several good zones in our house...

unionrdr said:

When you find the bloop bloop of the blow off jar soothing after an early morning doctor run...

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Hey! That's my ringtone on my cellphone.

I guess that's my contribution to this thread: "When your ringtone is 'bloop, bloop.'"

when this pops up in your FB timeline and your first thought is "is mannoheptulose fermentable?"

then you spend the next 20 minutes researching

Mannoheptulose is a hexokinase inhibitor. It is a heptose, a monosaccharide with seven carbon atoms. By blocking the enzyme hexokinase, it prevents glucose phosphorylation. As a result, the breakdown of glucose is inhibited

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become disillusioned and think, "probably not"

When you finally kick your first keg of homebrew and become more emotionally confused than you ever have been in your life. Should I be happy, sad, reflective, angry? I didn't even get a picture of the crystal clear Pilsner goodness before it went.
...and you have a pint of something else in memoriam

Also, when the correlation between urinating and head retention make perfect sense

When you are in a local bar and see the waitress-server-bartender throwing away Sam Adams bottles and you think "man I could use those" so you go ask if you can have all the empties.

When you stop ordering beer with dinner at restaurants because you keep getting disappointed.

william_shakes_beer said:

When you stop ordering beer with dinner at restaurants because you keep getting disappointed.

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You're going to the wrong restaurants then, lol.

zmanzorro said:

You're going to the wrong restaurants then, lol.

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There are no restaurants that serve my home brew. I am frequently disappointed as well.

SevenOaks said:

There are no restaurants that serve my home brew. I am frequently disappointed as well.

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This happened during my birthday a few months ago. My Brother in law really tried. But, I was disappointed a lot on the bar/restaurant tour we took.

zmanzorro said:

You're going to the wrong restaurants then, lol.

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I will agree with you until I finally get dialed into keeping the hoppy beers hoppy for longer than 3 weeks after packaging.

When you get to the point where you realize they aren't inventing quick ways to clean everything in the brewery. Much less, smaller than a trunkload of equipment...

When you're happy to realize that the mandatory half hour wait for immunotherapy visits means mobile HBT time.

You finally get off the antibiotics & can have a beer again!

When someone reminds you it's a long weekend on Friday afternoon, by the time they're finished talking you're already figuring out if you have enough time to get to the LHBS in time, so you can fit in an unplanned brew.

When you are drinking a: Rum Barrel Aged Lemon Drop Hopped Aletoberfest

When your shift at work of manning a Psychiatric Observation Cell means you plan out a brewing schedule for the next 6+ months.

I have the brew dates, bottling dates, and ready to drink dates for my next 6 or 7 batches planned out lol

You see a thread about brewing with spruce needles and actually stop to think, 'hmmmm maybe I can try this someday....'

I have to work really hard to save myself from myself sometimes...

Brew_Dude41 said:

You see a thread about brewing with spruce needles and actually stop to think, 'hmmmm maybe I can try this someday....'

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Why can't you?

When half the vegetables in your freezer are hop pellets.

When you go to "the beer restaurant" in some small town and end up ordering ice tea.

DevilNuts said:

When half the vegetables in your freezer are hop pellets.

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You don't have a dedicated hop freezer?

When you drive by a sign for a business named Galaxy and first thing you think of is hops...lol

Pantherjon said:

When you drive by a sign for a business named Galaxy and first thing you think of is hops...lol

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There's a street named Centennial Circle near me. Every time I drive past, I wonder how the street sign could make its way onto the wall of my bar.

...when you realize that, against all scientific logic, time actually does fluctuate in the rate at which it passes. The proof of this is that it comes to a standstill on the first day of bottle-conditioning.

When you feel kind of uneasy and incomplete when your fermentors are empty.

hogwash said:

When you feel kind of uneasy and incomplete when your fermentors are empty.

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Thats would be stage 4 nuclear mental meltdown for me. Only happened once and I wouldnt want it to happen again

Also, isnt that what Xanax is for?

...you brew at home.

Airborneguy said:

When you brew at home?

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ntheknow said:

...you brew at home.

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didn't even read the first FOUR posts, did you?

I sure DID you mean OLD man.

When your happy your wife is only partly pissed off about beer and your thrilled.

Bought a 1/6 barrel of apex Predator for (cough cough) R&D reasons. My wife yelled at me when she saw how much it cost and said I should brew more!

I win!
Mug

Dcpcooks said:

When your happy your wife is only partly pissed off about beer and your thrilled.

Bought a 1/6 barrel of apex Predator for (cough cough) R&D reasons. My wife yelled at me when she saw how much it cost and said I should brew more!

I win!
Mug

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Well played sir, well played.

...when your wife actually goes into the LHBS WITH you instead of waiting in the car.

AND helps you measure out grains!

GHBWNY said:

...when your wife actually goes into the LHBS WITH you instead of waiting in the car.

AND helps you measure out grains!

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Or will make starter wort for you so its cooled down by the time you are home from work

DevilNuts said:

When half the vegetables in your freezer are hop pellets.

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Pkrd said:

You don't have a dedicated hop freezer?

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...and the other half is ALSO hops...

When you don't want to BBQ near brew day because you want to conserve propane

The power just went out in central Illinois and we're in the beginning of a blizzard.. While others have to make a run for beer.. No worries.. I have 15 gallons of homebrew behind the taps on the kitchen wall!! [emoji6]

Your temp control habits help in the kitchen, especially in things like candy making.

You clean the kitchen because brewday is the next day.

GHBWNY said:

...when your wife actually goes into the LHBS WITH you instead of waiting in the car.

AND helps you measure out grains!

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Last time my wife went with me to the LHBS, she brought me a beer from the taproom while I measured grains.

I win. :fro:

When you're at your favourite local brewery and consider sneaking into the back and learning secrets, regardless of the consequences.

GHBWNY said:

...when your wife actually goes into the LHBS WITH you instead of waiting in the car.

AND helps you measure out grains!

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Good woman there!