But what if I don't even have one? Then I don't have ball. Or balls. Well, I can answer my own question, I guess. My ball(s) can't possibly itch.
This reminds me of a story from ministerial school. We had to do a totally off the cuff impromptu 25 minute sermon for preaching class. The idea was that you hadn't written your Sunday Sermon yet, and one of your congregants was in the hospital, and basically you strolled into church on sunday morning with nothing prepared and had to preach off the cuff.
So for some reason we couldn't meet in our normal classroom instead we had class in the 100 year old chapel named after the founder of our denomination.
This was an extremely stressful assignment to do for a lot of folks- In my student tract I had already been guest preaching for 3 years, but a lot of my classmates came up through the 2 year program and really had little experience with public speaking. Some students actually broke down in the middle of the lesson. Me I had grabbed my lucky Jesus action figure (with "miracle glide action") and had it in my pocket for luck, and ended up pulling it out and ended up doing a cool metaphically interpretation of "having Jesus in your pocket."
Well anyway one of the guys in my class, a guy about 10 years older than me starts his sermon, and somehow it leads in to his struggle with getting into a car accident or a freak sports injury and losing one of his boys. And having a marble implanted and trying not to feel like half a man...it turned out to be a mesmerizing and obviously incredilby candid and emotionally raw sermon. My jaw was on the floor, folks were on the edge of their seats, some of the women were crying, it was just really intense.
Well this chapel we were in was one of the major tourist destinations of folks visiting our campus. It was an art deco gem. We were all in the front rows and none of us noticed that evidently a tour had come in, a bunch of blue haired old biddies from some senior's complex or something.
Well apparantly my classemate's talk about his jewels freaked the hell out of these women and they evidently complained to someone, who complained to someone- it caused quite a stir, the classmate got called into some conferences and got dressed down for it. It was total BS...I mean yeah he talked about losing his ball, but it wasn't graphic in any way, I think he even just refererred to it once as his testical, and just went on putting it in context of his sermon, but never even referring to it as anything more than "my accident" or something like that.
But I guess these old ladies thought they were getting a "treat" getting to walk in an observe some "holy" seminarians talking about Jesus and stuff. And they were surprised.
Wow I think I'm drunk.....so this should fit in the drunkien ramblings forum now.