My balls dont itch.

Thats good? Right?

Shouldnt this be in Drunken Ramblings?

What if he is not drunk? It is indeed general.......but is it chit chat? hmmm

jonmohno said:

My balls don't itch

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"but my ass is a different story." :cross:

I enjoy a good ball scratching now and then, but they don't itch. Unless I haven't showered for awhile like camping etc...

djsethall said:

I enjoy a good ball scratching now and then, but they don't itch. Unless I haven't showered for awhile like camping etc...

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pack some gold bond you silly silly!

Mine don't itch, but sometimes I scratch them, just for fun. I figure, what the heck, I'm down there anyway.

What if you don't have balls? What if you only have ball?

dfc said:

What if you don't have balls? What if you only have ball?

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then you have phantom itch!

dfc said:

What if you don't have balls? What if you only have ball?

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But what if I don't even have one? Then I don't have ball. Or balls. Well, I can answer my own question, I guess. My ball(s) can't possibly itch.

LOL.. How can you not click on this thread?

Soap and water is all Ive got to say bout that

So is the implication that your balls frequently itch? Sounds like a job for Gold Bond myself.

Yooper said:

But what if I don't even have one? Then I don't have ball. Or balls. Well, I can answer my own question, I guess. My ball(s) can't possibly itch.

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This reminds me of a story from ministerial school. We had to do a totally off the cuff impromptu 25 minute sermon for preaching class. The idea was that you hadn't written your Sunday Sermon yet, and one of your congregants was in the hospital, and basically you strolled into church on sunday morning with nothing prepared and had to preach off the cuff.

So for some reason we couldn't meet in our normal classroom instead we had class in the 100 year old chapel named after the founder of our denomination.

This was an extremely stressful assignment to do for a lot of folks- In my student tract I had already been guest preaching for 3 years, but a lot of my classmates came up through the 2 year program and really had little experience with public speaking. Some students actually broke down in the middle of the lesson. Me I had grabbed my lucky Jesus action figure (with "miracle glide action") and had it in my pocket for luck, and ended up pulling it out and ended up doing a cool metaphically interpretation of "having Jesus in your pocket."

Well anyway one of the guys in my class, a guy about 10 years older than me starts his sermon, and somehow it leads in to his struggle with getting into a car accident or a freak sports injury and losing one of his boys. And having a marble implanted and trying not to feel like half a man...it turned out to be a mesmerizing and obviously incredilby candid and emotionally raw sermon. My jaw was on the floor, folks were on the edge of their seats, some of the women were crying, it was just really intense.

Well this chapel we were in was one of the major tourist destinations of folks visiting our campus. It was an art deco gem. We were all in the front rows and none of us noticed that evidently a tour had come in, a bunch of blue haired old biddies from some senior's complex or something.

Well apparantly my classemate's talk about his jewels freaked the hell out of these women and they evidently complained to someone, who complained to someone- it caused quite a stir, the classmate got called into some conferences and got dressed down for it. It was total BS...I mean yeah he talked about losing his ball, but it wasn't graphic in any way, I think he even just refererred to it once as his testical, and just went on putting it in context of his sermon, but never even referring to it as anything more than "my accident" or something like that.

But I guess these old ladies thought they were getting a "treat" getting to walk in an observe some "holy" seminarians talking about Jesus and stuff. And they were surprised.

Wow I think I'm drunk.....so this should fit in the drunkien ramblings forum now.

you need to scratch an itch, and scratch is another term for money. when something is money, that means its awsome. Revvy, your story was awsome.




soooooo... balls to Revvy? this thread is confusing.

If they don't itch anymore then they're probably due for another shave...

I've had 4 beers tonight. Now this is 4 REAL beers, with alcohol. I haven't had much alcohol in 12 weeks. AND I had a salad for dinner....not anything that can actually absorb alcohol...So I think I may be a teensy weensy bit....sauced.

Revvy said:

I've had 4 beers tonight. Now this is 4 REAL beers, with alcohol. I haven't had much alcohol in 12 weeks. AND I had a salad for dinner....not anything that can actually absorb alcohol...So I think I may be a teensy weensy bit....sauced.

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watcha drinkin? i'm assuming something delicious after such a long and well documented sabatical.

Revvy said:

Sounds like a job for Gold Bond myself.

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So you're offering to Gold Bond his balls?

wait, gold balls is the new bond villain? hollywood is definitely going downhill.

I started with a smitwicks, then a High seas IPA, then a Guiness export, then one of my ginger snap brown ales. All were delicious.

I'm tying the third sheet to the line now... Getting ready to haul it up the mast to catch the wind...

Itch ass and ball prickle can easily be avoided with good ventilation. You must go commando and start hanging brains in the cool summer breeze.

Now mud butt is a completely different monster.

Good ole monkey butt powder, the truck driver's friend.

This guy could have used some of that:

Damn it! 20 minutes too late. I saw the title of this thread and knew I had to post this video. Oh well.

Revvy said:

I've had 4 beers tonight. ...So I think I may be a teensy weensy bit....sauced.

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Welcome back to the bar.

GodsStepBrother said:

Itch ass and ball prickle can easily be avoided with good ventilation. You must go commando and start hanging brains in the cool summer breeze.

Now mud butt is a completely different monster.

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Haaaaaaaaaaaaa. ! I forgot i had posted this and was up for a laugh for a post on a thought on a whim.I was gonna leave it like primary to see how well it fermented and i would have to say this is some funny **** and the video is pretty hillarious.Plus i think i itched my balls the other day(its gettting kind of warm out ya know!) Sometimes we all feel liberated and just have to yell out to the neighborhood "me balls dont itch!" Its a good day.Good stuff though!
Plus your quote here would be a good stickyballs sticky intro.

jonmohno said:

Plus your quote here would be a good stickyballs sticky intro.

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Hmmmmmm, Stickyballs, sticky intro. Intriguing much.

I had to have an ultrasound on my balls today. I wasn't expecting that. If I had a Magic 8 Ball that told me, "a strange man will rub jelly on your balls today", I wouldn't have gotten out of bed. Thank God for beer.

StuporMan said:

I had to have an ultrasound on my balls today. I wasn't expecting that. If I had a Magic 8 Ball that told me, "a strange man will rub jelly on your balls today", I wouldn't have gotten out of bed. Thank God for beer.

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Had that done once. Ultrasound chick did her job in a very straightforward and professional manner. Darn it.