Confession Time

Frame125 said:

This thread makes me feel so much better. I feel like less of a turd.
My issue is I'm cheap. My kettle is a 54 quart aluminum tamale steamer 30 bucks. Glass car boys at pottery barn. 14 each . I don't own a gravity reader ,refractomiter etc I'm cash poor and have to justify to the wife

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Same here. 32 quart tamale steamer because I have to cook on my stove, water bottle carboys, no testning equipment yet. My forst AG batch is gonna be a SMaSH because I don't want to mess with specialty grains or adjuncts yet...

lemme see those carboys. $14 is right in my wheelhouse.

I'd like to hear about the $14 carboys too...

$14 sounds about right for me, but I bought most of my carboys second-hand off Craigslist and Kijiji from home winemakers who realized they weren't really into it. Got most of them for between $10-$15.

I'm going to brew my first BIAB AG recipe (own creation/inspired by Lil' Sumpin/leeched some info here), tomorrow night/Saturday.

I'll be crushing grain in a blender, mashing overnight, boiling next day and I have no idea what I'm about to get myself into.

Sounds fun right?

I sometimes use only one hand to pull the paper towels out of the dispenser in the men's room even thought the diagrammed instructions clearly state to use both hands.

I spend too much time ogling fancy homebrew automation gadgets. So far I've held myself to a BrewPi style ferm temp controller.

I drank my first (and so far only) RIS as soon as it was carbed up in the corny and kept telling myself that filling the glass half full would make it last. I had to make twice as many trips to the kegerator though.

Todd

Psylocide said:

I'm going to brew my first BIAB AG recipe (own creation/inspired by Lil' Sumpin/leached some info here), tomorrow night/Saturday.

I'll be crushing grain in a blender, mashing overnight, boiling next day and I have no idea what I'm about to get myself into.

Sounds fun right?

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I'm also crushing my grain in a blender, but it happens to be my daughter's Ninja. I assume I can run about 2 lbs in a 2 quart blender, right? As an aside, my 15 year old daughter has her own $100 blender, but I can't spring $30 on a Corona mill.

Let's have a race. Firstone to dough in wins an internet.

1977Brewer said:

I'm also crushing my grain in a blender, but it happens to be my daughter's Ninja. I assume I can run about 2 lbs in a 2 quart blender, right? As an aside, my 15 year old daughter has her own $100 blender, but I can't spring $30 on a Corona mill.

Let's have a race. Firstone to dough in wins an internet.

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Sounds good. I've only got 12 lbs to do though, lol.

I told SWMBO that the last two bottles of her favorite brown ale might have some "off" flavors because they were 2 years old. She told me she was too scared and wouldn't drink them. They were delicious by the way

I also must confess that I have no idea what a "dead hookers a$$" tastes like...

Lesee, I have a few

I dont take gravity readings. Okay, that is a lie. I like to take the gravity of my first runnings because its fun to look through the refractometer, I quickly forget the readings
I have yet to 'dial in' my system. I just put the recipe in BS and use its calculations for water volumes and temperatures. I occasionally end up with a 14 gallon batch, sometimes its only 9.
I never take notes on my brews.
I try to package my beers after 2-3 weeks, occasionally forget to do so for months. Have a pumpkin ale I brewed last fall (2013) that got a spontaneous brett infection which I am letting ride. Maybe I should transfer to a secondary or package it.
I am a serial glass thermometer killer. I have since switched to a thermapen (2 for 1 sale), though it gets used more often for food than beer.
I make Apfelwein 15 gallons at a time. Then reuse the yeast for the next batch. Maybe add in an extra packet. I age it on lees for 6+months and its still delicious.
Recently (the past 6 months to a year), the majority of my posts are not process/equipment/etc related, most are smarta$$ed comments and bad jokes. Often with hastily googled images.

I have not brewed in about 4 months. It makes me sad, though I do still have 15-20 gallons of HB beer left.

I always intend to save yeast, but never have anything prepared. As soon as the fermenter is empty, I wander off. The beer's been kegged for three weeks. View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1423158789.278950.jpg

Psylocide said:

Sounds good. I've only got 12 lbs to do though, lol.

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I don't even have a recipe yet, and I'm going to the store this afternoon.

SMaSH IPA ideas would be greatly appreciated. I was thinking 12-14 lbs of pale malt or MO, 5 oz. Cascade at 60-30-15-0 and an oz dry? I literally just made that up. Might split the pale and MO. I dunno. I'll make beer.

I'm still trying to figure a balance between sparging and getting acceptable volumes in my fermentor
I believe having a 3 tier system is a waste of time and money. BIAB does me just fine
The only real thing I hate about this hobby (other than the constant cleaning) is how much water gets "wasted" on a given brew day.

I don't measure stuff. I start out with a 55 pound sack, add some other grain; then during the boil I open one pound bags of hops and dump in what I think is a 1/4 of 1/2 the package. I've been doing it like this for a long time.

Confession: I hate traffic. I want to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible, and damn the speed limits! And woe be unto anyone who insists on going the speed limit in the "fast" lane. Or who refuses to pull over when someone comes up behind them wanting to go faster.

I no longer have room in my freezer for Food...all Hops.

I don't own a pH meter. I throw CaCl and MgSO4 in the mash water because I know my local water has very low levels of these.

After years of brewing all-grain exclusively, I'm making an extract kit this weekend.

And I've used my hydrometer twice in the last 25 or 30 batches.

After reading the entire thread, I'm convinced it should be titled: "Reasons your beer isn't as good as it could be" or "Good enough is the best!"

I've broken 4 Glass carboys total in 3 instances... I haven't learned

jbaysurfer said:

After reading the entire thread, I'm convinced it should be titled: "Reasons your beer isn't as good as it could be" or "Good enough is the best!"

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With how many threads and topics there are around with improving or getting the best results, it is nice to sit back and not worry quite so much. The line between "Best possible practices" and "They've made beer for 3000 years" isn't a small one.

For me it's mostly adhering to strict sanitation and trying to hit my mash temp are the most important. If I boil an extra (or less) 5 minutes it's not going to be the end of the world. Chances are +/- 2 degrees fermenting won't wreck anything either. As soon as you're too critical on yourself you end up running the risk of no longer enjoying the hobby.

^Glad you're enjoying it. Be sure to thank the OP.

I am really into the hobby, and I love the process of designing recipes and seeing them through to fruition. I've made many beers that I thought were quite good. Nonetheless, the best batch I ever made was from a mail-order extract kit. There's something about that fact that keeps me up at night...

Just made my first LHBS purchase(s). I put in my grain order, milled about (lol) and picked up a funnel, some campden tabs, a stopper, an airlock, a hydrometer and jar. Spent about 10 minutes in the hop freezer drooling, grabbed some Cascade and columbus. Checked out when my grain was ready, rolled on down the highway. I was 5 miles down the road and remembered I forgot yeast. So I turned around. I waqs fully ready to make some awesome wort, and in no way ready to make beer.

I must confess that many things said in this thread are over my beer brewing head. I brew extract kits since they are easy and I'm lazy. My brew process also includes no gravity readings and boiling on an electric stove that can barely get the wort to a boil. I throw the wort into the carboy for a week after bubbles stop in the airlock and then into the bottles, both at whatever temp my basement storage room is at. I haven't brewed a bad beer and think they are as good as they can be, as long as I'm making them. Brewing for me is to get to the end product as easily as possible. It's nice to hear so many vets on here who throw theory and caution to the wind and just get after it.

Roscoebrewdog said:

It's nice to hear so many vets on here who throw theory and caution to the wind and just get after it.

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Just be careful...just because some "veterans" have some seemingly sloppy habits, they are not always for the beginner/novice. Just as chef never measures his most popular dish (unless a particular ingredient is particularly costly), the more familiar you become with your equipment and ingredients, the more comfortable you become taking shortcuts.

A different analogy, I can now (to my shame) rebuild a Saturn DOHC 1.9L motor from top to bottom without reading the instructions or torque spec's on anything...I have now done it so many times it is all burned in my brain...some of the things are even muscle-memory.

That, and some of us are just sloppy.

I drank a beer and I liked it....

My family asks me to bring homebrew for family gatherings...I lie and tell them I can't bring any...they only get Homebrew when they come to my house

Onkel_Udo said:

Just be careful...just because some "veterans" have some seemingly sloppy habits, they are not always for the beginner/novice. Just as chef never measures his most popular dish (unless a particular ingredient is particularly costly), the more familiar you become with your equipment and ingredients, the more comfortable you become taking shortcuts.

A different analogy, I can now (to my shame) rebuild a Saturn DOHC 1.9L motor from top to bottom without reading the instructions or torque spec's on anything...I have now done it so many times it is all burned in my brain...some of the things are even muscle-memory.

That, and some of us are just sloppy.

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True. You gotta go through the paranoid retentive phase before the RDWHAHB stage is that relaxed. Once you figure out what works for you and makes good beer you can relax on some things.

Onkel_Udo said:

Just be careful...just because some "veterans" have some seemingly sloppy habits, they are not always for the beginner/novice. Just as chef never measures his most popular dish (unless a particular ingredient is particularly costly), the more familiar you become with your equipment and ingredients, the more comfortable you become taking shortcuts.

A different analogy, I can now (to my shame) rebuild a Saturn DOHC 1.9L motor from top to bottom without reading the instructions or torque spec's on anything...I have now done it so many times it is all burned in my brain...some of the things are even muscle-memory.

That, and some of us are just sloppy.

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Using extract kits, I follow the directions, but even screw that up at times. No issues so far. I have added some of my own extras for added flavor with good results as well.

Roscoebrewdog said:

Using extract kits, I follow the directions, but even screw that up at times. No issues so far. I have added some of my own extras for added flavor with good results as well.

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Not knocking you. Back in 1993 when i started, information was scarce and broke tons of more modern rules. Still made really good beer. I just do not want folks starting out to think the "rules" are a joke.

I crush my grains with a rolling pin

Hmm...

When I have to buy beer, it's usually Old Milwaukee's Best Ice.... "Beast Ice"

I haven't cleaned my tap lines out... EVER (15+ Years) I have ran Starsan through them though.

atoughram said:

I haven't cleaned my tap lines out... EVER (15+ Years) I have ran Starsan through them though.

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Good one...I think I clean them with an oxy wash when the beer change in flavor is significant...maybe.

Onkel_Udo said:

Good one...I think I clean them with an oxy wash when the beer change in flavor is significant...maybe.

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Agreed, or when I make a soda for the kids on one of the lines.

atoughram said:

I haven't cleaned my tap lines out... EVER (15+ Years) I have ran Starsan through them though.

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I built me keezer a few months ago and was wondering exactly how much maintenance it truly needed. Guess "not much" is the answer.

Kopesetik said:

I've broken 4 Glass carboys total in 3 instances... I haven't learned

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So this means 2 were broke one right after the other? Now thats a bad brew day.

I didn't really sleep at a Holiday Inn Express.

I don't use airlocks on my buckets, I had a set before I moved that I (painfully) drilled the right hole for a stopper to fit in and used to make sure there was always a stopper in it. Once I got my new set of buckets I just snap down the lid on two sides and stick under the kitchen counter until I transfer to my kegs. No issues yet and I figure if the bugs do that many aerobics to get into the brew and survive the alcohol they bloody well deserve it and I clearly need to fix something.

I also use a bucket for a mash tun, used to just wrap a couple bath towels around it and put one between it and the floor and one on top, sometimes I put a sweater on the whole shebang. Now I used a towel on the floor and the top and reflectix around the bucket secured with trusty duct tape. Either way I don't lose more than 1F/hour.

indymedic said:

So this means 2 were broke one right after the other? Now thats a bad brew day.

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Simultaneously. One carboy impacts another, both die. That's my wager.

I just got fine explaining my BIAB bucket to SWMBO. She thinks I've gone insane. Paint strainer bags and hardware store buckets can make beer?

Though I did realize in the detailing process that I don't have a lid...I'll pick one up at Home Depot tomorrow.