it's been 5 days in the bottle, tested one @ 5days (i know..2 early). most other brews i've done have at least been somewhat carbonated by day 5, but this kolsch is totally flat - what gives??
Patience, buddy!
As long as you didn't forget the priming sugar, my guess is it'll be fine. Lots of variables involved in carbonation, but if you've had success before, don't sweat it. Give it two weeks, some batches just need time.
and at what temp are they sitting at? its cooler out now than in the summer...my house was 52F this morning! colder beer takes a bit longer to carb up, and I wouldn't even start to worry at 5days.
What they said... my fat tire clone didn't even begin to show signs of carbonation until it was 2 weeks old. Then I had to wait another week to get the desired level of carb.