women, dude...

You gotta wonder, dude... What exactly are they thinking? Why do they do that crazy **** that they do? What the hell, man? I think I know women pretty well. They think differently than men do, but they have natural feelings too, such as love and fear. How can one love and fear at the same time? How can one fear the love? How does a man prove to a woman that he loves her? When is the right time? More or less, I've got a woman who wants to be with me, but doesn't know for sure. Should I explore other options or wait it out until she comes around? Sorry, but I'm drunk, and confused, like all the the other hearted-ached saps out there. Some insight from some veterans out there is very much appreciated...

RELAX brother enjoy every moment EVERY moment... good bad or indefferent, and just remember that if woman were like us men we wouldnt like them at all... there different for a reason.... So we can love everything about them.... if its ment to be brother it ALL will be. trust me you dont want to be in a relationship you have to STRUGGLE with. work on YES!!! but STRUGGLE no!!!!!and just a thought you prove your love by just loving her always!!!
JJ

I think she's stringing you along because she's not sure if she wants to settle with you. Sorry to sound negative, but it sounds like you're not the one but you'll do if nothing better comes along. You may love her a lot, but it doesn't sound as if the same intensity is being returned. Don't wait around. Find someone who is as sure as you are.

I've been through this four or five times. It's a rare person that isn't convinced something better will come along if they wait long enough. Maybe it does, maybe they get old and wrinkly.

hgrundy said:

How does a man prove to a woman that he loves her?

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Have you tried a big tattoo with her name on it?
Also, breaking into her email account and reading her personal stuff is a great way to find out what she's thinking.

If that fails, show up drunk on her doorstep crying and professing your love for her. Then tell her you'll kill yourself if she leaves.

That ought to do it!

Dude, you're not even 21. THIS IS THE ETERNAL QUESTION! THERE IS NO ANSWER OTHER THAN MATURITY! You're young, she's young, you're both probably just as immature as I was when I was your age.

Best thing I ever did in my life was to tell my first true "love" that it just wasn't worth it anymore. The games just weren't worth it. She's probably just as conflicted as I (and my ex) were, thinking that we wanted to be together, but at the same time needing space to find ourselves and frankly not really knowing what else (and who else) was out there. If she breaks your heart - well, there are three billion other men in this world whose hearts have been broken at least once, you're not alone.

So, my rambling advice? Don't wait it out. Live your life, and if she ends up a part of it, great. If not, there's another three billion ladies out there, they ain't all old or ugly.

You're running on a false assumption in my opinion. It sounds like you think that if she really knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you lover her, that it would change anything. She's just not sure SHE loves you. Ouch. I know. It's the great struggle, unrequited love. Life is really too short to waste time begging. Don't center your life around winning someone over. If they don't dig what you've got going on right now, you'll be chasing it the rest of your life.

hgrundy said:

I've got a woman who wants to be with me, but doesn't know for sure.

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There is an old middle eastern saying: Women want toasted ice.

Tell her to make up her damned mind. Making decisions and going with them is the essence of life.

Bobby_M said:

unrequited love. .

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I have to disagree. Love cannot be unrequited, it requires mutual consideration.

You can have unrequited lust, unrequited desire for a cheeseburger, but not love.

You can love someone and still not be IN LOVE with them. But you can't make someone love you back. Happens all the time. I have some of the same advice as the bird has already told ya. You are young, enjoy your life and don't worry about her. Work on making yourself happy. Don't look for others to do it for you. If you expect that to happen you will be disappointed and miserable. Only because they (she) didn't meet your expectations. Sometimes we put people up too far on a pedestal and expect too much from them.

I agree, that life's too short to play games. Sometimes you gotta be direct and tell them how you feel. Even if it hurt's them or you. It's always better to put it out and communicate about it instead of letting it boil inside of you. Let her know how you feel and if she doesn't feel the same way, well.. then move on with your life. There are many more women out there that you'll be able to relate to. By then you'll have matured more and have a better understanding of relationships.

RDWHA--oh your underage...

Man being young is all about making mistakes....you can screw up now and bounce back. So, don't worry about anything....do whatever makes you happy.

If she's making you get drunk and post on a forum then sounds like a bad deal.

Also, heartache builds character.....All of the coolest people out there were f'ed up so how. Read Kerouac.....or read about Salvedor Dali. Both very cool but crazy as all get out.

the_Roqk said:

You can love somone and still not be IN LOVE with them. But you can't make someone love you back.

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I think we are in a semantic hangup. Self-serving desire is not love. Love, IMO, is by definition a two person thing. If its not a mutual thing, then it is not love.

"Wow, this person is cool and I would like them to like me" is not love.

Anyway, to the OP: just relax a little. many times these kinds of problems arise from trying too hard. You have made your intentions clear. There is nothing more you can do than that.

The key is to be able to distinguish between lust and love.

For me at that age, it was learning to differentiate between love and infatuation; being in love versus loving the idea of being in love.

Foreigner said:

There is an old middle eastern saying: Women want toasted ice.

Tell her to make up her damned mind. Making decisions and going with them is the essence of life.

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I thought the middle eastern saying was "Put your f***king veil back on - ***** !

Woo... I just remembered about this. Talk about a headache. Good advice though. It's whatever, I'm just gonna roll with the flow. Plus I just met this other girl who likes kung-fu movies. That's always a plus...

hgrundy said:

Woo... I just remembered about this. Talk about a headache. Good advice though. It's whatever, I'm just gonna roll with the flow. Plus I just met this other girl who likes kung-fu movies. That's always a plus...

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Okay, then. That right there says it all. A lot of good advice wasted on, well, someone wasted.

Sorry but with that attitude no wonder she is unsure!

no, it was great advice and duly noted. I just figure there's no sense in getting stressed out about it. It's not the end of the world. If she wants to come back to me, then I'll consider it, if not, I'm not gonna sit around crying about it. I know I love her and she loves me, but there's more to a relationship than love. And like you guys said, I'm young and still need some time to get my life in order. But your replies really made me think, thanks guys.

Good idea grundy, just chill a little.