Like wine for shrimp

Lovin' my Cable Customers ! Went to a house yesterday whose cable was out. Line was cut. Antique cable, we don't have fittings for it. Got 'em working anyway. Anyhow..... came out that I make beer and wine. This couple turns out to be wine drinkers. Wife gives me a 5 gallon glass carboy and around 30 corks. I bring her a bottle of my peach wine today. She gives me 5lbs of shrimp and says she'll call me when her mother's grape vine starts producing this year.


The point I'm making here, boys and girls, is that our hobby can bring us closer to people who don't brew/vint. We can share what we do, often in return for the good things other people have and do.

Old guy I work with said to me " I hear you make wine... Bet it's not like my Grandad and uncle did !" I told him I don't make wine in 50 gallon drums, if that's what he means. Turns out, they made 10 50 gallon drums at the time. I told him his family was bootlegging and could go to jail for selling homemade wine. He assured me that they weren't selling it, but they sure as hell bartered it for a bunch of stuff !

The moral of my story, children, is that the stuff we make is great. People love it ! We love it ! Selling it is illegal. Bartering isn't !

Get what you can ! Give nothing back !

True, but bartering is taxable!

Neeeegra , Please ! In what part of the world ?

Look at your tax book.

You have to pay taxes on all bartering based upon the cost that the item or service would have cost were you to pay for it.

I'm not making this up.

I think you've traveled too much. Heard the sound of the 155 Howitzer too much. Been to cool places too much. Drank too much good beer over the course of a good life.

Don't F this up for me , Bill ! I'm feelin' good about it !

I'm Happy -Assed !

sudsmonkey said:

I think you've traveled too much. Heard the sound of the 155 Howitzer too much. Been to cool places too much. Drank too much good beer over the course of a good life. Don't F this up for me , Bill ! I'm feelin' good about it ! I'm Happy -Assed !

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Who am I to complain about those compliments. I am just trying to keep you out of trouble (read: JAIL - NOT a good place if you are already "Happy-Assed").

I know I'm an "occasional" big mouth bragger, but I don't think I ever said anything that would get me in trouble with the Feds. Some private info is best kept to yourself.

For example, "I used to have 11,800 - 9mm rounds at one time...but I gave them back"...see, stuff like that.
Could be those "booms" going off in the distance really are in my head...

homebrewer_99 said:

True, but bartering is taxable!

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Bill is correct...you're supposed to declare all forms of "income", including trade, barter, tips, windfalls etc. You find a quarter on the ground, send uncle sam fifteen cents. But take heart...it's all being put to such good use.

Hey Sudsmonkey-

If you can get to New Mexico I will give you some beer for some cable service.

Bill - When I saw the one set of footprints, etc.. Thanks, Bro !
El homeo P.- You're just " the man". Kinda like the Jefe of Jefes.
Brewpastor_ You're not Catholic, are you ? I was born Baptist, but molested Catholic. I'm now Southern Free Will Primative Bhuddist. The post was " like shrimp for wine, not cable for beer ". If I get to N.M., I'll hook you up !

El Pistolero said:

Bill is correct...you're supposed to declare all forms of "income", including trade, barter, tips, windfalls etc. You find a quarter on the ground, send uncle sam fifteen cents. But take heart...it's all being put to such good use.

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My favorite is that you have to claim income made from embezzlement, too.

riiiiiiiiight... I'm sure ALL of that is claimed. Crooks are very honest.

-walker

monkey, you are a piece of work.

I always referred to it as beer debt.

I have a computer tech, a mechanic, and an electrician who will work for beer. Now I need a doctor and a lawyer, and I'm all set.

And of COURSE I declare everything. I even mail the government the last yeasty dregs out of each bottle. That's their cut.

Well the Revenue man wanted Grandaddy bad
Headed up the holler with everything he had
It's before my time but I been told
He never come back from Copperhead Road

homebrewer_99 said:

For example, "I used to have 11,800 - 9mm rounds at one time...but I gave them back"...see, stuff like that.

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I work in munitions accountability right now so comments like that make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. :cross:

Edit:

Your Royal Dudeness : Thanks for calling me a piece of work, instead of the piece I'm so used to being called.

Squatch: Thanks so much for the Steve Earle quote. I'd nearly forgotten that one.

Lastly, fellas : Watch out for Richbrewer. I think he's with the ATF. Talk beer all you want, but leave the unlicensed machine guns out of the conversation. Wait... the A stands for alcohol ! Sorry, RB. I had to go there.