Nothing could be a better example of what an incurable yutz I am.
We had been living together for three years, and for his retirement, my f-i-l took the family on a cruise to the Bahamas. My plan was to corner him with a cigar and ask permission (as is the family tradition) on the balcony, before coming into the cabin and saying "Guess what!?"
In order to make this plan work, I needed 4 simple things. 1) two cigars, 2) an ashtray 3) her father to actually want to smoke a cigar and 4) SWMBO to be in the cabin.
Long story short, I couldnt find an ashtray and wound up yelling at a porter for ignoring me and saying he "wasnt on juty", her father was feeling too under the weather for a cigar and SWMBO found me pacing around the ship muttering to myself, looking white as a sheet with nerves. "Not on juty, I'll give you not on juty you moose-knuckle bah!" is what I apparently was saying to no one in particular.
Finally I wound up confiding in her sister, who made sure everyone was in one place at one time... the next morning right before we disembarked. She was excited and of course said yes, but she asked "ok, but who was Judy?"