I've been at Toronado a lot over the years starting sometime in the 90s and the only time I've really seen that attitude is when people were rude to the bartenders. They don't put up with any crap from anyone (ie, the customer is NOT always right!), which I can understand. In my experience they can be a touch surly but if you're not an ass to them and are genuine then they lighten up. Bear in mind, it gets very busy in there. I've enjoyed a number of entire days in that place and heartily recommend it.
Anyway, it's my favorite beer place there. It's great because they don't just carry one brewery's stuff. They have something like 46 taps, and they only carry good stuff, no taps wasted on Bud or the like. Lots of local stuff represented. Unlike brewpubs which usually only carry their own beer, Toro's will have Lagunitas, Bear Republic, Speakeasy and other local stuff with a good cross section.
The Anchor tour's pretty great if you can get in.
Magnolia's is very close to Toro's but when I was there like ten years ago the beers were mediocre. Maybe they're better now, I don't know. But for me at that time, it was a waste of time. They didn't suck but were nothing special. They could have a new brewer or more interesting beers now, though, dunno.
Also, I used to regularly make the drive from Portland to San Francisco, hitting all of the brewpubs on the way. This is a while ago, also. But from my memory those Moylan's places (he had two breweries from what I remember, with two names) were not interesting. The beer was great, but they were in strip malls from what I recall and the space itself was nothing special. Bear Republic has a much nicer pub and great beers. If you manage to do any road trips, I'd hit that place. I can't say about Russian River as they were part of Korbel in the old days and I don't remember them having a tasting room. But their beers alone would be worth the trip.