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Working around boiling water is always a serious danger. About two years ago, I had the outflow tube on my immersion chiller kink and pop off shortly after starting the flow of water. It sprayed on my thigh and waist (inches away from being a LOT worse, fellow men). Compared to your accident, I...

Why are you worried about not seeing activity? Your beer has been fermenting for two days. It may be past the active portion and slowing down. Give it a few days and check the gravity.

Hefeweizen and ESB are both pretty quick styles. If you use a starter (or pitch two packs of yeast) and force-carb, you should have plenty of time. Low gravity is the important part. More abv, more time.

You racked it into secondary before it was done fermenting?

You aren't really supposed to have airlock activity or krausen in secondary. Secondary fermentation is basically to clean up the beer and let the yeast drop out of suspension. After a three-week primary, I doubt secondary is necessary as long as you're brewing a typical beer. I'd bottle it.

Having multiple strains of yeast going in beer at the same time, even two ale yeasts, isn't unheard of. I've heard of it working very well for some people, but I don't have any personal experience with it.

Well, "stirring it some" doesn't sound like enough aeration to me, but that just means the yeast will have a slower start. They should get going, it'll just take longer. When I aerate, I usually rock the fermenter back and forth pretty aggressively for about five or ten minutes total. All of...

Low gravity and proper pitching rate are key to a fast beer, and if you keg instead of bottle it gets quicker. I've heard of an ESB being ready to drink seven days from brew day.

Give it another week in the bottles at room temp. My first beer tasted really strong after one week, despite being 4%. It tasted more like a 10% beer. My second beer, which I had after it was in the bottles two weeks, had MUCH less of that. I expect my third beer, at three weeks, will have...

Warm temperatures shouldn't be related to low yeast activity. At high temperatures, yeast go crazy and produce off flavors. Cold makes them go dormant, warm makes them TOO active. The way your beer looks doesn't really tell you how it's doing. Check the gravity. Fermentation sometimes happens...

Again, it depends on where you live. Exact laws vary by state and occasionally by county.

I seem to be the odd one out. My Caribou Slobber didn't ferment heavily. It just went pretty gradually for the better part of a week. After two weeks in the fermenter and two weeks in the bottle, I've decided it's ready to drink (just a few at a time though, to allow the others to condition...

Don't feel too bad. Everyone makes mistakes. I know I made a few on my first two (forgot to take OG, squeezed specialty grain bag, aerated after pitching, pitched too warm, fermented a bit warm). Your beer will most likely be drinkable. And if not, time heals most beer wounds. My rule is that I...

That site had some confusing information. The part where he was disparaging the use of sugar and where he spoke of a "full strength" beer as 5% abv was odd. And I've never heard of adding sugar for secondary fermentation. It seems like it would bring the yeast back to life, rather than giving...

I don't have a secondary yet. Mine was in primary for two weeks (fermentation was over after 1). I'm going to leave my next beer in primary for three weeks no matter what happens.

I'm in the same boat. Caribou Slobber, warm fermentation. 68 degrees ambient, but I guess the inside was a lot warmer. My fermentation was pretty slow and steady. Finished within about for days, I bottled after two weeks in primary. In the future I'll leave it in there longer (or secondary once...

My first beer is fermenting now. I was worried about temperature too, so I put my fermentation bucket in a large pot of water (my boiling kettle, actually) with a fan focused on it. It stays at about 68 degrees (compared to 76 in the rest of the apartment) at all times. I've tried adding ice...