In Bathroom Stalls...

He who writes on bathroom walls
Rolls his $hit in little balls.

And he who reads these words of wit
Eats those little balls of $hit

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Apparently words in quotes don't count toward the 10 character minimum. Who knew?

When I was young and in my prime,
I used to jackoff all the time.

Now that I'm old and have more sense,
I use the knothole in the fence.

Some come here to **** and stink,
Some come here to sit and think,
I come here to itch my balls,
and read the writing on the walls.

"The Weather is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful"





Bathroom writing that Jimmy Buffett turned into a song.

There once was a man named McNair,
Who decided to take his wife on the stair
but when the banister broke
he just doubled his stroke
and finished her off in the air!

Dyslexics of the world untie.

"What are you looking up here for? The joke's in your hands."

Here I sit
all broken hearted
came to $hit
but only farted

"tried to $hit with a$$ cheeks flexin', and gave birth to another Texan"

Hey, I didn't write it, just repeated it.

There once was a man from Boston
Who rode around in an Austin
There was room for his ass
And a gallon of gas
But his balls hung outside
So he lost em.

When all the ****house poets die
they'll find erected in the sky
in memory of their faithful wit
a monument of solid ****.

"As Witchita Falls, so falls Witchita Falls"

dblvsn said:

Here I sit
all broken hearted
came to $hit
but only farted

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then one day i took a chance
tried to fart
and $hit my pants

If you piss,
piss hard and mean.
'cause Dallas crabs,
can swim upstream!


(works with any town)

you can't have manslaughter without laughter. =)

Here I sit in deadly vapor
Someone used all the toilet paper
It smells so foul I cannot linger
Look out ass! Here comes the finger!

"Here I sit, feeling fine, took my **** on company time"





Ize

Brewtopia said:

"As Witchita Falls, so falls Witchita Falls"

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A Pat Metheny album, though misquoted :

As Falls Wichita, so falls Wichita Falls

Step a little closer, Shorty

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but whips and chains excite me,
So... throw me down,
and tie me up and show me that you like me.

Twas the night before the royal castration
the royal left ball was seperated from the royal right ball

Balls cried the queen, if I had two, I'd be king
The king laughed, not because he had to, but because he had two.

then in strolled Danial
Where's the f***in princess?

to which the king replied..in bed with diptheria
to which Danial replied.is that greek basta*d back in town?

For his insolance, Danial was thrown into the lions den
and out came a mangy lion covered in flies and hair

Danial picked him up by the left nut and threw him against the wall.
OOOh said the lion, that smarts. No said Danial, that's nuts.

For his bravery Danial was told to come forth.
slipping on a pile of **** he came fifth.

**** cried the king and there was a great movement over the land.

If you are reading this then you are p1ssing on your shoes

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have chlamydia,
Now you do too!

When I was young and had no sense,
I pissed upon an electric fence.
It curled my hair and tickled my balls,
and then I **** my overalls.

POE

(10 characters)

For a good time call 867-5309, ask for Jenny.

cnbudz said:

For a good time call 867-5309, ask for Jenny.

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I was going to call that number, but I was afraid to. Man I hope she hasn't changed it, it's been on the wall for a long time.

There was a young man from Kent
Who's dick was so long it bent
So to save him some trouble
He folded it double
Instead of coming, he went.


If "con" is the opposite of "pro" then Congress must be against Progress.

Sit on a happy face.

Wanna get laid? Crawl up a chicken's a$$ and wait.

Want help from the US Gov't? Move to another country.

There once was a lady from Wheeling
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back, spread open her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling

The classic:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a c*%t I would f*ck it!"

there once was a man named dave
who kept a dead whore in a cave
he had to admit, I'm a bit of a s#!t,
but look at all the money I save

Orpheus said:

The classic:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a c*%t I would f*ck it!"

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I was in Nantucket when I was in 15 and saw a T-shirt that said "I am the man from Nantucket" I wanted it soooo badly but my mother said it was disgusting and she'd burn it if I bought it....

On the back of a stall door in a truckstop men's room on I-40 :" I need to get fu**ed!". All I could think was that if you're advertising for sex on the back of a men's room door, you probably already are.

There was a young girl named O'Malley
Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
She got roars of applause
When she kicked off her drawers
But her hair and her bush didn't tally.

When I'm dead and in my grave
No more pu**y will I crave
But on my gravestone will be seen
Here lies the bones of a f!ckin machine.

sudsmonkey said:

On the back of a stall door in a truckstop men's room on I-40 :" I need to get fu**ed!". All I could think was that if you're advertising for sex on the back of a men's room door, you probably already are.

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I've heard of *****whipped, but never momma whipped...WUSS!!!

There once was a US Senator from Idaho.

TxBrew said:

There once was a US Senator from Idaho.

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There once was a man named "McSweeny"
Who spilled some gin on his weeny.
Not being uncouth
He add vermouth
And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There once was a man named "McGraw"
Who had a hexagonical ball
The square of its weight
Plus his pecker times 8
Is his phone number, give him a call