You're no longer a n00b when...

[SuperiorBrew]

Just a little something I thought we could do to poke fun at our own n00biness. Kind of the opposite of my Bad Techniques thread.

You're no longer a n00b when...


Well done all.


Keep them coming.

#291 You have nothing to do brewing wise so you spend a hour and type up 101 reasons You're no longer a n00b

WOW you were really bored one morning back in march

Edit: forgot to remove list from quote & was respectufully cried at

 

[cheezydemon]

Please, with all due respect. It is not necessary to Quote the original post!!! It takes up up a frigging page!lol

 

[Chriso]

Please, with all due respect. It is not necessary to Quote the original post!!! It takes up up a frigging page!lol

Heh, but it got me to re-read it

By the way, you should be on #293, not #291. Even if David put it in hexadecimal, it's still a legit number.

#294) SWMBO grounds you from brewing another batch until you remove your beer equipment from at least two rooms in the house. (Thereby conceding the other 4 rooms on that floor to your equipment in the process.)

It's true 'nuff. I had to de-louse the kitchen and the dining room, because she was tired of my sprawling piles of primaries. So I cleaned up, now I get the laundry room, my office, and the porch for storage areas. Oh, and my cellar. And behind the couch in the living room. And my bedroom closet.

 

[feedthebear]

related...
#295 For three days, SWMBO walks through the house asking, "Can you smell that?" You respond, "No." even though you know its the carboy you have been hiding in the kitchen and haven't cleaned for two weeks.

 

[shafferpilot]

#296 SWMBO takes a drink of your beer and has to ask you whether or not it's one of yours

 

[Chriso]

#296 SWMBO takes a drink of your beer and has to ask you whether or not it's one of yours

#297 SWMBO takes a drink of your beer, unmarked, in the same pint glass you always use, and can correctly identify WHICH of your beers it is, then finishes your glass when you're not looking.

 

[feedthebear]

#298 Your homebrew gets fought over at the white elephant gift exchange.

 

[Fingers]

#299. You point out to SWMBO that her pot of stew/soup on the stove has a pretty big krausen.

#300 Everytime you pour a cup of coffee you think, 'hot side aeration'.

 

[Kevin Dean]

#301: You're cooking spaghetti for the SWMBO and while you're rinsing off the pasta she asks you, in all seriousness, "How's the sparge going?"

 

[MikeFlynn74]

#302

The wife ask for your brewing schedule so that she can figure out when to get your attention for the purposed of procreation.

 

[Kevin Dean]

#300 Everytime you pour a cup of coffee you think, 'hot side aeration'.

Actually, up until about a week ago I've been complaining to my wife about how my coffee tastes like soggy cardboard. I've stopped pouring to make it "frothy" and this has stopped. There might actually be something to that.

 

[Yuri_Rage]

#303: Your beer glass collection goes from 3 crappy pint glasses to a plethora of glasses, each of which is tailored to its own specific type of beer, and none of which has ever had anything BUT beer in it.

(There are about another dozen glasses that were too far back in the cabinet for me to reach. I'm lazy.)

 

[Beer Snob]

#304 You listen to the waitress at a good resturant ramble on all of the 'beers' (gulp) they have and say.... "Um... I'll just have water with a lemon."

 

[Don]

#304 You listen to the waitress at a good resturant ramble on all of the 'beers' (gulp) they have and say.... "Um... I'll just have water with a lemon."

You beat me there..

304. You won't pay the $4 - $5 they want at a resturant for their beer because you know at home you have 4 keg of homebrew just waiting.

306. When your worst batch of homebrew is better than what they have on draft at the corner bar.

 

[Fingers]

307. When most of your Christmas gifts have some kind of reference to beer.

 

[Bosh]

#303: Your beer glass collection goes from 3 crappy pint glasses to a plethora of glasses, each of which is tailored to its own specific type of beer, and none of which has ever had anything BUT beer in it.

(There are about another dozen glasses that were too far back in the cabinet for me to reach. I'm lazy.)

You have Cass glasses? Why why do you make the poor beer suffer?

 

[MikeFlynn74]

Of course Yuri has Cass and OB glasses. Wheres the Hite?

God that was some aweful beer

 

[BierMuncher]

308. Your out at Target/Penneys (et al) buying quality beer glasses for your inlaws house because you refuse to take your homebrew over there and pour them into tinted blue juice glasses one more time.

 

[The Bone2]

give you strange looks when you say "my yeast is activating"

 

[Neomich]

309. You start judging females at the bar by what they drink instead of how they look.

 

[Poindexter]

310. Having run out of room to "buy another Corny," you have to worry if kegs are going to kick out of the fridge in time for what is coming out of secondary.

 

[TexLaw]

311. While separating and packaging your 22.6 oz "pound" of Fuggle from Hops Direct, your four year old son picks up one of the stray leaves from the floor, sniffs it, and says: "Hmmm! Smells good! Smells like beer flowers!"


TL

 

[Chriso]

312. You know why a "pound" weighs at least 22 oz when it comes from Hops Direct.

 

[c.n.budz]

313. No longer a noob moment:

Today while at a funeral, I caught myself staring at the holy water dispenser(basically a large metal pot with a spigot at the bottom) and saying to myself "I could brew in that..."

 

[flyboy]

313. No longer a noob moment:

Today while at a funeral, I caught myself staring at the holy water dispenser(basically a large metal pot with a spigot at the bottom) and saying to myself "I could brew in that..."

LOL! Must be a new brew called "Holy Beer".

 

[Tonedef131]

203) You begin dreaming about living in a small brewshed in the woods, sleeping on a bare cot, and wearing loose fitting robes.

Awesome.

314. When you want to choke the brewery tour guide when she tells the whole group that "this fermenter is used for lagers, which are dark beers like stouts"

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

315: You have 6 batches in Secondary, 5 in Primary, 4 Lagering, 3 Bottle Conditioning, 2 Force Carbing, and you go on a 1 month international vacation.

 

[debaniel]

313. No longer a noob moment:

Today while at a funeral, I caught myself staring at the holy water dispenser(basically a large metal pot with a spigot at the bottom) and saying to myself "I could brew in that..."

I thought that's what the monks brewed in anyway?

 

[Neomich]

316. You're sitting at a hotel bar and someone approaches you asking you if you're drinking a pitcher full of pepsi/cola due to your beer being so dark.

(just happened to me 20 seconds ago, it was quite funny seeing the look on their face when I said it was beer and NOT pepsi) Silly yankees!

Oh yeah, this is pitcher #2 so they're probably really confused at this point.

 

[sipNswirl]

317. When you realize that you have nothing to talk about except for brewing beer, and somehow every conversation reverts back to brewing beer.