You're no longer a n00b when...

[Yuri_Rage]

265. SWMBO still hates beer. But she's willing to try it and and knows before you do that the batch is going to be good.

 

[Schlenkerla]

266) When make a pot of coffee, you think of fly-sparging, then start to think it might be easier if you batch sparge.

 

[Orpheus]

267) You refuse to cut the water supply to your outside hoses to avoid burst pipes in the cold weather just because you never know when you'll need your wort chiller.

(Sad but true! SWMBO keeps asking, but I have ingredients on the way and don't want to bother )

 

[cheezydemon]

268) You stop thinking of "multiple step decoction" as something that those beer fanatics do, and seriously consider it for your next brew.
269)You get really tired of responding to posts that ask "what the hell is this white stuff in my primary?"

 

[Chriso]

267) You refuse to cut the water supply to your outside hoses to avoid burst pipes in the cold weather just because you never know when you'll need your wort chiller.

270) You convert the main floor bathroom sink to garden hose fittings so you can run the hose through the house instead to prevent the above conundrum.

 

[98EXL]

271) You teach SWMBO how to brew, and you feel yet another connection with her, because you seem to be so SMRT! (moreso than you really are)

 

[Orfy]

266) When make a pot of coffee, you think of fly-sparging, then start to think it might be easier if you batch sparge.

272) You do a single infusion no sparge method when making coffee and sit there considering if you should be doing a mash out as well.

 

[cheezydemon]

273) When you not only think of brewing beer during sex, but actually make a decision that you stick to on your next batch during sex.

 

[Chriso]

272) You do a single infusion no sparge method when making coffee and sit there considering if you should be doing a mash out as well.

274) You actually act on any of these coffee-sparging musings, and try to build a miniature mash tun for your morning coffee so that you CAN settle whether fly or batch sparging is better for your beans.

273) When you not only think of brewing beer during sex, but actually make a decision that you stick to on your next batch during sex.

275) You actually turn down SWMBO's request for sex because you're in the middle of your boil.

 

[cheezydemon]

275) You actually turn down SWMBO's request for sex because you're in the middle of your boil.

276) You successfully satisfy your mate during your boil, and don't have a boil over and you time it perfectly during the 15 minutes between hop additions.

 

[the_bird]

276) You successfully satisfy your mate during your boil, and don't have a boil over and you time it perfectly during the 15 minutes between hop additions.

If you completed SWMBO-relations within fifteen minutes, sounds to me like you DID have a "boil over"...

 

[Seabee John]

If you completed SWMBO-relations within fifteen minutes, sounds to me like you DID have a "boil over"...

15 minutes... wow, took your time huh? I can get it done in between the aroma hop addition and the end of the boil.

 

[Chriso]

276) You successfully satisfy your mate during your boil, and don't have a boil over and you time it perfectly during the 15 minutes between hop additions.

Ah, there's the problem. That would entail being done in less than 15 minutes... You, maybe... Me.... not so much.

 

[cheezydemon]

Lol thought that might get some interesting responses.

277) You talk her into doing it in the garage, you successfully throw in the hop additions at the proper times and SHE is the only thing to boil over.

 

[98EXL]

Lol thought that might get some interesting responses.

277) You talk her into doing it in the garage, you successfully throw in the hop additions at the proper times and SHE is the only thing to boil over.

I think that was the nail being hit on the head!

 

[Chriso]

I think that was the nail being hit on the head!

Or perhaps the head being hit whilst being nailed?

 

[98EXL]

Or perhaps the head being hit whilst being nailed?

BINGO, we have a winner!

BTW, nice freaking avatar!

 

[Chriso]

BTW, nice freaking avatar!

Google Images for teh win!

 

[Neomich]

278. You find multiple items in your work's employee shopping cataloge that can be used in your brewery and you decide to cash in your points/dollars you worked hard to earn.

279. Despite #278, you still decide to get SWMBO something for her from said catalog.

280. You make sure SWMBO is aware of #278 and #279 so future purchases are guilt and question free.

 

[TexLaw]

281) When you have enough freezer space to hold four sides of beef and a Thanksgiving dinner, but it's all kept at 35-45F and full of beer.

282) You have a "hop shelf" in the one freezer that actually stays at freezing temperatures and is not full of beer.


TL

 

[shaggynuts24]

when you use "beer talk" as foreplay while at the same time talking your wife into letting you purchase equipment


"6.5 gallon ... glass carboy ..... ball ... lock ... keg ..... mmmmmm ... yeah ... they're only $15 ...... sounds good right ..... yeah ... mmmmm"

 

[sTango]

after reading all of this I realized that I am such a freakin noob!

 

[98EXL]

#284 When one of the reasons you gave your buddy's wife to buy him a mig welder was so you could build a sculpture

 

[feedthebear]

#285A - Convince SWMBO to start a soap, lotion, & candle making home business.
#285B - Buy SWMBO a propane burner for making said soap, lotion, & candles.
#285C - Write said propane burner off as a business expense.
#285D - Purchase equpiment for all-grain brewing.
#285E - Brew beer with said propane burner.

Right now I'm working on 285B.

 

[LostDakota]

Hoping this might help me rise from the ranks of "New Brewer" (n00b is the term for people I pwn in Halo)

#286 You start the dishwasher empty except for your 4 favorite pint glasses and no detergent, bar sanitser in the Jet Dry compartment.

 

[LostDakota]

#287 Realize you spent 5 out of 8 hours at work searching and reading this site.
#289 Go from Mr. Beer to 6 tap homemade kegerator in less than 2 months. (pics to come.)

 

[Chriso]

#289 Go from Mr. Beer to 6 tap homemade kegerator in less than 2 months.

DAMN! You're ahead of me! Oh well, mine is coming.

 

[feedthebear]

#290 You've made something from each of the four brew groups: Beer, Mead, Cider, and Wine.

 

[david_42]

123h You're down to the sub-sub-styles in the guidelines looking for something new to try.
124h You've finally accepted the fact that chocolate is not a brew group.

 

[Chriso]

123h You're down to the sub-sub-styles in the guidelines looking for something new to try.
124h You've finally accepted the fact that chocolate is not a brew group.

You're a hopeless computer nerd when.... you type numbers in hex, but on a brewing website.

but...

You're a lame and hopeless computer nerd when...

...

...when you instantly recognize that aforementioned numbers are IN hex, and don't have to use Calculator to verify they're the right numbers.

Shoot me now.