You know your SCREWED!

[Beer Snob]

This is a thread for all those questions posed by your SWMBO.

Your screwed if you don't answer.... and your CERTAINLY SCREWED IF YOU DO ANSWER

 

[Beer Snob]

So the first one to get started.....

"Do I look fat?"

G-d help you if you answer this... and G-d help you if you don't answer this..... face it.... your screwed.

 

[RichBrewer]

"What do you think of her" as you are walking down the street and she points to another lady. I don't think there is an answer that will keep you out of trouble.
Possibly "what lady? I didn't notice her". But that won't even work because she knows you are lying.

 

[todd_k]

We never go out.

Where do you want to go?

I don't know..............

 

[Beermaker]

Do you think she is pretty?

I tried a new recipe, what do you think?

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

Do you think she is pretty?

"Not as pretty as you." usually works.

Though "Not as fat as last year" usually does NOT.

 

[Pumbaa]

"If something every happened to me would you ever get remarried?"
The correct answer is not "Are you F***ing nutz?" as in Now that I got my freedom you expect me to give it away again?

Took me weeks to get out of that doghouse

 

[david_42]

My favorite (not) was, "Why was she flirting with you?" Generally, I had no clue as to who "she" was.

 

[Walker]

"If something every happened to me would you ever get remarried?"

Ah.. see I asked this question to my wife before she got the chance to ask me.

She said that she would probably remarry. I'm fine with that, as long as the guy was good to my kids and my widow.

But, then I told her I could never love someone as much as her and it wouldn't be fair to that person if I married them.

She feels guilty now for saying that she WOULD remarry, so I think I've got a get-out-of-jail-free card to use here.

As for all of the 'other women' questions (did u see her? is she pretty? etc) my wife usually points out the hottest girl in the place long before I notice her myself, so I am not worried about those questions from SWMBO.

-walker

 

[Brew chick]

Interesting thread you got here(quietly listening in)any more smart ass replys you got?

 

[user 574]

Interesting thread you got here(quietly listening in)any more smart ass replys you got?

Ha Ha! Toss some back at us!

 

[Walker]

better yet... give us some insight to our women! why would they even ASK these questions!?

-walker

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

better yet... give us some insight to our women! why would they even ASK these questions!?

-walker

Simple. They like to keep us confused. Which brings me to belive that they can't possibly be human. An advanced life form, yes. Possibly with mind control powers. And often, I think, sadistic tendancies.

 

[dancingbarefoot]

Interesting thread you got here(quietly listening in)

Isn't it?

'course, they probably don't want to know what we say about men.

 

[david_42]

I have FOUR sisters, I know.

 

[BlightyBrewer]

But we're totally linear and predictable, so you girls must have nothing to discuss about us, except how linear and predictable we are...

and he casts, and waits...

 

[AllHoppedUp]

S**t, I could camp out in this thread all day. Only got 5 min till off work though . . . will put some thought into it for tomorrow.

One time I almost got screwed because she was nagging me about all the housework I DON'T do. So I reminded her that I do all the yard work, cut fire wood, fix stuff, pick up dog crap, kill spiders, make beer, etc. She said "So, you really think you do as much around here as I do?" I wanted to says "yes" so bad but I thought better of it and held my tongue.

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

Whipped!

 

[Beer Snob]

I wanted to says "yes" so bad but I thought better of it and held my tongue.

Your a very smart guy. Nothing good would have come out of that.. unless you like the couch that is

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

Your a very smart guy. Nothing good would have come out of that.. unless you like the couch that is

Hmm... I just though of a new thing to start selling. couches that turn into a bed BUT also have a built in entertainment center, computer and bar.

 

[McCall St. Brewer]

So the first one to get started.....

"Do I look fat?"

Or, then there's the corollary: "Does this dress make me look fat?"

 

[Brew chick]

How many of you have had this one(show of hands please)swmbo says "i must have lost weight this dress has got more room in it now!"when the last time you cross dress'd you stretch'd the bugger!!

 

[Brew chick]

Ok.who's looking sheepish about now?

 

[Rhoobarb]

Or, then there's the corollary: "Does this dress make me look fat?"

Try answering, "Oh, it isn't the dress."

Still, you have to admire women. Anything that can bleed for that many days straight and live, has to be admired!

 

[Chairman Cheyco]

so I think I've got a get-out-of-jail-free card to use here.

Use that up quick walker, it has an expiration date and nobody knows what it is. It's the same mistake newbies make by thinking "I've got tons of points." There is only one point, you either have it or you don't. They don't add up, you are simply allowed to keep the one you have if you should earn another. And, like the get outta jail free card, the point expires as well, often with no warning.
Sometimes it's worth cashing in the point on pure frivolity. My favorite way of doing this is when she picks up the broom I say "Doing some cleaning or going for a ride?"

It's so worth it.

 

[Sir Sudster]

Try answering, "Oh, it isn't the dress."

Still, you have to admire women. Anything that can bleed for that many days straight and live, has to be admired!

Quietly, LMAO!

 

[Mr_Turtlehead]

OMG...Rhoobarb and Cheyco, IPA just came out of my nose

 

[Dude]

Still, you have to admire women. Anything that can bleed for that many days straight and live, has to be admired!

OMFG...I've wanted to post that for a few days now, but declined...thank you for doing my dirty work Rhoobarb.

:rockin:

 

[sudsmonkey]

OMFG...I've wanted to post that for a few days now, but declined...thank you for doing my dirty work Rhoobarb.

:rockin:

You guys are going to get us all killed.
( Monkey quietly steps away from the other kids to go sweep the kitchen because he knows what's GOOD FOR HIM !)

You guys are gonna die a horrible , sexless death.

 

[dancingbarefoot]

Still, you have to admire women. Anything that can bleed for that many days straight and live, has to be admired!

Mwahaha! Don't forget having cramps akin to having your crotch, lower back, and thighs in a vice for five days straight. Ow!