Wish Corruption thread

[hereforbeer]

Granted, you are now allowed to bowl a perfect game. To bad you still don't have the skill

I wish somebody would buy me a lifetime membership to this site.

Granted.They also changed your password,email account,IP address,and ran off with your entire wardrobe.

I wish robot unicorn would run smoothly in my computer.

 

[captianoats]

Granted: A robotic unicorn just ran into your computer. Smashed it to pieces.

I wish I can walk outside tomorrow and the bed of my truck is full of $$$

 

[Beer604]

I wish I can walk outside tomorrow and the bed of my truck is full of $$$

Granted. As soon as you touch the money the Police arrest you, for robbing the local Bank.

I wish I can do telekinesis.

 

[Buglermcd]

I wish I can do telekinesis.

Granted. You can now move your body with your mind.

I wish the NASA announcement yesterday was more substantial.

 

[david_42]

Granted! NASA announced yesterday that their new $55 billion heavy lifter is so substantial it can't get off the ground.

I wish they had discovered a bug that repairs dry rot.

 

[Jim Karr]

Granted. The dry rot will never be an issue, since now the bug leaves massive piles of dung everywhere it encounters wood.

I wish the snow would go away.

 

[scrambledegg81]

I wish the snow would go away.

Granted. You now live in the southern Honduras where it's considered a good day if the humidity dips below 85%.



I wish my kitty wasn't such a spaz.

 

[TMet]

Granted, your cat is always loving and attentive. It also has chronic explosive diarrhea.

I wish my co-worker would stop directing all conversation to his bowel problems.

 

[buffalobrewer]

granted, now your coworker only talks about masturbating.

I wish my neighbor would brew his own damn beer and quit drinking mine.

 

[Newbeerguy]

granted, now your coworker only talks about masturbating.

I wish my neighbor would brew his own damn beer and quit drinking mine.

Granted. He just stole all your equipment to brew it with.

I wish my kids would let me sleep in past 7am on the weekends.

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Granted. He just stole all your equipment to brew it with.

I wish my kids would let me sleep in past 7am on the weekends.

Granted. Instead of waking you up at 7am, they are instead out partying all night and not coming home until noon.

I wish it only took me one hour, start to finish, to brew an all grain, 10 gallon batch of beer that tastes awesome and wins competitions.

 

[svengoat]

Granted. Instead of waking you up at 7am, they are instead out partying all night and not coming home until noon.

I wish it only took me one hour, start to finish, to brew an all grain, 10 gallon batch of beer that tastes awesome and wins competitions.

Granted it's root beer..

I wish my gas didn't smell

 

[TMet]

Granted, but its loud enough it cannot be hidden and you can't stop it form happening every 5 minutes. You have an important meeting in an hour.

I wish I didn't volunteer to work today.

 

[Seabee John]

Granted, but its loud enough it cannot be hidden and you can't stop it form happening every 5 minutes. You have an important meeting in an hour.

I wish I didn't volunteer to work today.

Granted, you didn't volunteer to work today, but you did volunteer as a fluffer in gay porn films every weekend for life.

I wish my wishes to be granted exactly how I want them to be.

 

[buffalobrewer]

Granted, but dementia has made you want to join Tmet at his weekend job.

I wish the Sabres would win the cup!

 

[TANSTAAFB]

Granted. They win the cup...The World Cup...kicked some frenchie A$$!!! Nobody cares

I wish my dog hadn't eaten 2 lbs. of flour I was using to make...wait for it...dog biscuits, while I was at work fixing a sewer line that apparently was never connected in the first place. Awesome

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

I wish my dog hadn't eaten 2 lbs. of flour I was using to make...wait for it...dog biscuits, while I was at work fixing a sewer line that apparently was never connected in the first place. Awesome

Granted, they drank all your beer instead.

I wish I had 10 cases of The Macallan 12 single malt scotch in my closet.

 

[McCuckerson]

Granted, they drank all your beer instead.

I wish I had 10 cases of The Macallan 12 single malt scotch in my closet.

Granted, you drink them all in one sitting and you no longer like scotch; so sorry!!!!!

I wish beer came out of my faucet when I take a bath......

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Granted, you drink them all in one sitting and you no longer like scotch; so sorry!!!!!

I wish beer came out of my faucet when I take a bath......

Granted. You got pulled over. The cop smelled beer. Lots and lots of beer.

I wish I gave a $hit about college football.

 

[gestyr]

Granted. You got pulled over. The cop smelled beer. Lots and lots of beer.

I wish I gave a $hit about college football.

Granted. Every time college football comes on tv you get projectile diarrhea.

I wish the world was a wonderful place.

 

[Hang Glider]

Granted. You now live on Pandora (Avatar) after the great battle. Too bad the atmosphere is toxic to you.

I wish my golf game was as good as my beer (and NOT vice versa!)

 

[TMet]

Granted, but you found SWMBO sleeping with all your golf buddies. At the same time!

I wish boobs gave beer instead of milk.

 

[viking73]

Granted, you can suckle all the beer you want, but only from men!

I wish I had a shark with laser beams!

 

[BlackForestBrewery]

Granted, you can suckle all the beer you want, but only from men!

I wish I had a shark with laser beams!

Granted, you have your shark but you are also exposed to dangerous levels of radiation (from the lasers), causing you to go bald and frequently $hit yourself.

I wish all my hops vines grew 25' and produced insanely well for me.

 

[viking73]

Granted, you have your shark but you are also exposed to dangerous levels of radiation (from the lasers), causing you to go bald and frequently $hit yourself.

So what would be different?

 

[Shooter]

Granted, you have your shark but you are also exposed to dangerous levels of radiation (from the lasers), causing you to go bald and frequently $hit yourself.

I wish all my hops vines grew 25' and produced insanely well for me.

Granted, your hops produce EXCEEDINGLY well. So well that they are spotted by the local gendarme, who are convinced you are growing the cousin. Let me introduce your new cell mate Big Carl.

I wish my hot dog DIDN'T plump when I cooked it!

 

[TANSTAAFB]

Granted, you have your shark but you are also exposed to dangerous levels of radiation (from the lasers), causing you to go bald and frequently $hit yourself.

I wish all my hops vines grew 25' and produced insanely well for me.

Granted, your hop vines all grow in excess of 25' and quadrupled their average yield. Unfortunately they have an odd genetic mutation that makes anyone who consumes them lapse into random psychotic episodes where they masturbate randomly in public. No amount of medication or therapy seems to have any effect on the symptoms whatsoever so friends and family are forced to institutionalize you all and have you declared clinically and legally crazy...Hence they produce insanely well!!!

I wish my cedar fever would go away as it has been a month of misery with red, itchy, swollen eyes and enough snot production to fill a 10 bbl cylindroconical!!!

 

[scrambledegg81]

I wish my cedar fever would go away as it has been a month of misery with red, itchy, swollen eyes and enough snot production to fill a 10 bbl cylindroconical!!!

Granted. Thanks to the advances of modern medicine, you are now required to take 12 different pills twice a day to control the adverse effects, and the side effects give your ballsack a bizarre blue tinge.




I wish I didn't have to go back to college in 2 days.

 

[Ace_Club]

I wish I didn't have to go back to college in 2 days.

Granted. You don't have to go back to college in two days. Here's your hat and...ding...fries are done.

I wish I had a local homebrew store to frequent.

 

[hereforbeer]

I wish I had a local homebrew store to frequent.

Granted.They hate you with all their might and throw fecal matter at you,and your fermenters.

I wish I could remove all dirt off my body instantly.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted.They hate you with all their might and throw fecal matter at you,and your fermenters.

I wish I could remove all dirt off my body instantly.

Granted, your skin is removed

I wish I was able to sleep in longer.

 

[Shooter]

Granted, your hop vines all grow in excess of 25' and quadrupled their average yield. Unfortunately they have an odd genetic mutation that makes anyone who consumes them lapse into random psychotic episodes where they masturbate randomly in public. No amount of medication or therapy seems to have any effect on the symptoms whatsoever so friends and family are forced to institutionalize you all and have you declared clinically and legally crazy...Hence they produce insanely well!!!

I wish my cedar fever would go away as it has been a month of misery with red, itchy, swollen eyes and enough snot production to fill a 10 bbl cylindroconical!!!

Dude, REALLY, I posted a response to this SEVEN minutes before you did. Thanks for the undercut!

 

[viking73]

Granted, your skin is removed

I wish I was able to sleep in longer.

Done, you may sleep in as long as you want, or at least until the unemployment checks stop coming. Then you'll need to get your lazy ass out of bed and find a job.

I wish that movie volumes wouldn't go from loud to LOUD TO LOUDER TO INSANELY LOUD!

 

[oteixeira]

Done, you may sleep in as long as you want, or at least until the unemployment checks stop coming. Then you'll need to get your lazy ass out of bed and find a job.

I wish that movie volumes wouldn't go from loud to LOUD TO LOUDER TO INSANELY LOUD!

Granted, now your deaf! Close caption options are in the main menu.

I wish that I could drink more without the weight that goes with it.

 

[TANSTAAFB]

Dude, REALLY, I posted a response to this SEVEN minutes before you did. Thanks for the undercut!

Sorry bro, I type slow with a beer in my hand!!! There was no response when I started and no intention to undercut...but ya gotta admit mine was funny

 

[Homercidal]

Granted, now your deaf! Close caption options are in the main menu.

I wish that I could drink more without the weight that goes with it.

Granted, now you can only drink water.

I wish my back was REALLY double-jointed!

 

[JorgeIsKing]

oops, I'm an idiot... see next post...

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted, now you can only drink water.

I wish my back was REALLY double-jointed!

Granted, you now have Hypermobility syndrome in your back... And all the issues that go along with it.

I wish I had a 12 inch pianist

 

[Homercidal]

Granted, you now have Hypermobility syndrome in your back... And all the issues that go along with it.

I wish I had a 12 inch pianist

Granted. But it scares all the girls away!


I wish I had Absolute power over everything in creation.

 

[Shooter]

Sorry bro, I type slow with a beer in my hand!!! There was no response when I started and no intention to undercut...but ya gotta admit mine was funny

It had better be, you had seven minutes to work on it!