Wife sabotaged beers

[brettg20]

My SWMBO wants me to buy a pump so she can brew instead of me brewing recipes she creates (which in turn I alter)....guess I'm lucky


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[Schlenkerla]

Feel bad for bros here with whiny bitchy women.

Don't feel bad for me. If I don't deserve the bitchin' I give her reason at my pleasure or benefit. Personally, I think she likes to bitch and argue. I told her more than a dozen times she should have gone to law school.

 

[CanadianBacon]

This title should read " My ex-wife sabotaged beers ".

My women just cleaned the entire brew room last night when I was at work, So I had a nice clean room to bottle today, not to mention did all the dishes, took my tiers I left by the door and put them away, took out the trash and brought me dinner.

 

[rskelhorn]

Ahh well a few petals shouldn't ruin anything. She could have squatted over your brew and.. never-mind..

Sounds like brew should be the least of your concerns my friend.

 

[brettg20]

Maybe you should buy her some flowers


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[hunter_le five]

My women just cleaned the entire brew room last night when I was at work, So I had a nice clean room to bottle today, not to mention did all the dishes, took my tiers I left by the door and put them away, took out the trash and brought me dinner.

Will you... Will you teach me?



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[Colorowdy]

This.
Don't listen to me I'm just some weirdo on the interwebs.
Sorry dude.

 

[troy2000]

All in all, it sounds to me like your lady was just acting out a little to get your attention. If she had seriously wanted to sabotage your beer, flower petals are way down on the list of ways to do it. They strike me as more of a signal: "hey sweetheart, maybe you should talk to me? Because next time it could be more than flower petals."

Then again, how much of a space cadet is she? Could she have gotten a wee bit stoned, and decided blessing the beer with universal love symbolized by flower pedals was way cool? I have fond memories of one of those. She was a sweetheart and I loved her dearly, but eventually she just floated away...

 

[Hello]

I wondered what happened to the OP.

 

[madscientist451]

I got a divorce after 22 years of marriage....the whole deal sucked.
Is the beer that important? Ask the Mrs if she wants you to pour it out.
If she says yes, then agree to do it if she will agree to work on the problems of your marriage. Just by offering this you will show her that she is more important than your beer. If you have to follow through on it, you can always brew more and go to the beer fest. next time.
My biggest regret: Didn't try hard enough to fix it , then it was too late,
my 2cents , good luck.

 

[PackerfaninSanDiego]

C'mon guys, let this thread die. the OP has not been on here for 4 days

 

[Schlenkerla]

I got a divorce after 22 years of marriage....the whole deal sucked.
Is the beer that important? Ask the Mrs if she wants you to pour it out.
If she says yes, then agree to do it if she will agree to work on the problems of your marriage. Just by offering this you will show her that she is more important than your beer. If you have to follow through on it, you can always brew more and go to the beer fest. next time.
My biggest regret: Didn't try hard enough to fix it , then it was too late,
my 2cents , good luck.

That sucks about you experience, but I start thinking about the control factor. Who has it? After she retaliated you suggest sucking up to her. Not me. I would NOT suggest it to anybody unless they are at fault for something. Thinking of priorities of doing needed our required work around the house verses taking time to brew.

I agree talking about it though.

 

[Schlenkerla]

C'mon guys, let this thread die. the OP has not been on here for 4 days

Why, he might be back on the weekend. Not to mention I have been entertained....

 

[fearwig]

That sucks about you experience, but I start thinking about the control factor. Who has it? After she retaliated you suggest sucking up to her. Not me. I would suggest it to anybody unless they are at fault for something. Thinking of priorities of doing needed our required work around the house verses taking time to brew.

I agree talking about it though.

If you plan out interactions with your SO based on what you can do to maintain "the control factor", you are in for a hot string of divorces (or, worst case, a marriage that lasts and probably shouldn't).

Obviously there's a context to this beyond her putting a flower in his beer. Maybe she's a jerk, maybe he's a jerk, maybe they're both jerks, who knows? But retaliating so you can get more "control" is psychotic, and a good way to lose control over everything.

The best way to actually control the situation (as opposed to your partner) is to be the first one to respond like a grownup.

 

[Schlenkerla]

If you plan out interactions with your SO based on what you can do to maintain "the control factor", you are in for a hot string of divorces (or, worst case, a marriage that lasts and probably shouldn't).

Obviously there's a context to this beyond her putting a flower in his beer. Maybe she's a jerk, maybe he's a jerk, maybe they're both jerks, who knows? But retaliating so you can get more "control" is psychotic, and a good way to lose control over everything.

The best way to actually control the situation (as opposed to your partner) is to be the first one to respond like a grownup.

The relationship needs to be balanced, control is an illusion by the domineering person.

My point is if she did something bad I'm not going to kiss up to her. If one does it they are giving in when they don't need to or should not. The other person won't respect you in any way. They may never will. You can't take away priveiledges from them like you do to a kid that be haves badly.

Its like my 5 year old son who refuses to brush his teeth before bed. He throws his tooth brush and walks away belligerant in disrespect. Are you going to go back to him to say that I will throw away your toothbrush and try to understand why don't want to brush your teeth. You send the message that brushing your teeth isn't necessary and bad choices and actions are tolerated.

My point is that she put flowers in his beer and then he feels then need to dump it out to show he cares? What cockamamy BS is that? You don't show that she is more important than beer. Only that she can manipulate the situation to get her way verses talking it over. She can make bad choices without consequences. Thats being a controlling ******.

My mother at 83 is one, and she is in a nursing home. Acts just like a child and she always had and with my angelic father at her side. He rarely held her accountable for bad behaviour. She was the youngest of 7 kids, my grand parents obviously gave up as they got older and never reigned my mother in from acting like a brat.

Not too long ago my mother told me that wished she never gave birth to me, then two days later wants me to bring her a new Nora Roberts Book, hand cream and shortbread cookies. She is 100% mentally sound says the Nuns and Doctors, Socialworkers and Psychologists .

Originally Posted by madscientist451 View Post
I got a divorce after 22 years of marriage....the whole deal sucked.
Is the beer that important? Ask the Mrs if she wants you to pour it out.
If she says yes, then agree to do it if she will agree to work on the problems of your marriage. Just by offering this you will show her that she is more important than your beer. If you have to follow through on it, you can always brew more and go to the beer fest. next time.
My biggest regret: Didn't try hard enough to fix it , then it was too late,
my 2cents , good luck.

 

[JPrather]

Maybe you should buy her some flowers


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Dude, seriously. Buy her some flowers with a note with something about replacing flowers. If that doesn't break the ice and lead to some kind of reconciliation/solution/moving on, there is no hope.

 

[chocotaco]

Dude, seriously. Buy her some flowers with a note with something about replacing flowers. If that doesn't break the ice and lead to some kind of reconciliation/solution/moving on, there is no hope.

Best idea yet.

 

[cheddarhed3]

Honestly, she could have put WAYYY worse "items" in there...

 

[GuldTuborg]

Honestly, she could have put WAYYY worse "items" in there...

That's why he should put cayenne in her underwear, not powdered habanero.

 

[Schlenkerla]

That's why he should put cayenne in her underwear, not powdered habanero.

I'm glad there is some one that's not taking this too seriously.

The site of seeing the reaction would be priceless, but the blow back would be bad.

 

[fearwig]

Fortunately by posting this here instead of addressing it in real life the OP has shown he's as passive aggressive as someone who puts flowers in someone's fermenter, which is better than some of the actively aggressive (even abusive) suggestions you all managed to come up with in the mean time.

 

[Hello]

Fortunately by posting this here instead of addressing it in real life the OP has shown he's as passive aggressive as someone who puts flowers in someone's fermenter, which is better than some of the actively aggressive (even abusive) suggestions you all managed to come up with in the mean time.

Not sure many of the suggestions that involve chili powder and calling her by another lady's name are serious suggestions. The OP came here, made the post and took off the same day. Perhaps there is stuff going down at home or perhaps it was an attention grab. I struggle between believer and cynic so who knows what happened.

 

[RmikeVT]

How is this thread still alive?

 

[fearwig]

Not sure many of the suggestions that involve chili powder and calling her by another lady's name are serious suggestions. The OP came here, made the post and took off the same day. Perhaps there is stuff going down at home or perhaps it was an attention grab. I struggle between believer and cynic so who knows what happened.

Given how recently this thread, for instance, ended with someone saying they'd like to @#$# the ex wife in the article and then kill them (post deleted when the thread was locked), also for big laughs, I'm not always yukkin' it up when homebrew dads start bringing the jokes about this. Some people wonder why there are so few women here, guess they just don't have a sense of humor.

The relationship needs to be balanced, control is an illusion by the domineering person.
...
Its like my 5 year old son who refuses to brush his teeth before bed. He throws his tooth brush and walks away belligerant in disrespect. Are you going to go back to him to say that I will throw away your toothbrush and try to understand why don't want to brush your teeth. You send the message that brushing your teeth isn't necessary and bad choices and actions are tolerated.

Now see, it strikes me as a problem that you don't see a problem with this analogy.

I can't speak to the rest of your post, it can be hard to work with your parents as you get older, especially when they have challenges or shortcomings of their own (I can sympathize, I think a lot of people can). Best luck with it.

 

[dobe12]

How is this thread still alive?

Because it's funny.

 

[Hello]

Given how recently this thread, for instance, ended with someone saying they'd like to @#$# the ex wife in the article and then kill them (post deleted when the thread was locked), also for big laughs, I'm not always yukkin' it up when homebrew dads start bringing the jokes about this. Some people wonder why there are so few women here, guess they just don't have a sense of humor.

The comparison between wanting to do something to the ex wife in that thread and the chili power in the panties in this thread is a bit of a reach, but whatever. You're clearly the armchair psychologist here. I just didn't really take some of the suggestions that included doing anything to the wife short of talking to her too seriously which I guess given my female anatomy is odd considering you think women don't have a sense of humor.

I'm still not even sure this is all true. I am a fairly stable and functioning adult. I would never come here publicly and write what he wrote, but that is just me. I've seen threads like this and a lot of the time they turn out to be attention grabs. Maybe I am wrong here, it happens frequently. Either way, I really hope that the OP is fine and he is spending time offline dealing with his issues, if there are really issues at home. If not, then I hope he had a good laugh.

 

[whitesheperd]

Well when my wife USED to get mad she used to dump out my wine.. So one day I dumped out her make up lol. Needless to say she stopped doing that


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[fearwig]

The comparison between wanting to do something to the ex wife in that thread and the chili power in the panties in this thread is a bit of a reach, but whatever. You're clearly the armchair psychologist here. I just didn't really take some of the suggestions that included doing anything to the wife short of talking to her too seriously which I guess given my female anatomy is odd considering you think women don't have a sense of humor.

I'm still not even sure this is all true. I am a fairly stable and functioning adult. I would never come here publicly and write what he wrote, but that is just me. I've seen threads like this and a lot of the time they turn out to be attention grabs. Maybe I am wrong here, it happens frequently. Either way, I really hope that the OP is fine and he is spending time offline dealing with his issues, if there are really issues at home. If not, then I hope he had a good laugh.

The panties thing is mostly just dumb, though it's obviously moving in a F'ed up direction in that someone's mind immediately went to sexual punishment just because the post was about his wife (?!). I don't know or necessarily care about the OP, I think his post was mostly innocent (kinda foolish to bring it here, but not an indictment). I just think every time a thread like this pops up the worms come out of the woodwork and people start to get "honest" awfully fast.

Bit about sense of humor was definitely sarcastic, if that wasn't clear. My point is that it's not too surprising there aren't that many women in homebrewing (at least in the community aspect of it, especially clubs) because there's a systemic vein of, well, should we say "*******"? I mean it's not just this, I'm just more inclined to call it out when I see it because I've seen it come up even worse.

Saying "you should be firm with your wife because what if you let your 5 year old refuse to brush his teeth" would probably earn you the permanent silent treatment from me in real life, but it's pretty mild BS by homebrewtalk standards.

 

[drainbamage]

Could just be that the "********" are able to thrive because there aren't more women around here to give them sh*t right back. Vicious cycle, you know.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

Wait, maybe the flower petals looked like these: