Who would you pick for president?

[sflcowboy78]

I picked Log. I loved him in the Ren and Stimpy show, and besides we have not had an actor in office since Regan.

 

[Fatgodzilla]

A toilet seat far more appropriate for americans cos your election process is full of %@*!. I mean you spend a year just picking candidates ?

And has any candidate stood up yet and pledged to help homebrewers ! At least your toilet seat would stand up for you !!!!

 

[DUCCCC]

Toilet seat can kiss my a$$.

 

[brauhaus]

I picked Log. I loved him in the Ren and Stimpy show, and besides we have not had an actor in office since Regan.

Ren and Stimpy were the only reasons I picked log... I haven't seen that cartoon in ages and when I saw log.... it was destiny.

Otherwise, screwdriver... like said before, we're getting screwed, might as well have the right tool

 

[Buford]

Log rolls over your neighbor's dog. I don't like my neighbors and their dog is evil (or was, I haven't heard it recently). Got my vote right there.

Also, it's great for a snack and fits on your back.

 

[srm775]

Pacer, hands down.

It's ugly and fat, but everyone secretly wants a ride.

Wait, I thought that was fat chicks and mopeds?

I picked Happy Fun Ball ... it's far superior to log, toilet seat and Pacer because it's made from a glowing substance which fell to earth from outer space. Hell, Pacer can't even get out of the driveway.

 

[Brakeman_Brewing]

Speak and spell for sure, that way members of the cabinet and advisers can easily program it to say whatever they want us to hear.

 

[Dinbin]

All hail the inanimate Carbon Rod!

 

[Seabee John]

You know, I came out and voted for Pacer right out the gate... who doesn't love the Pacer? but then I read all your comments and realized that you are all lobbyists working for special interests.

I'll Show you:

Carbon Rod - friend to the working man: Union Lobby
Lamp - beholden to the power companies for life: Oil Industry/Utilities Lobby
Screwdriver - Sure we used to make em here... but now: Chinese Lobby
Sponge Mop - Papers say that illegals are doing this kind of work because Americans don't want to: Amnesty Lobby
Happy Fun Ball - Duh?: Drug Lobby (Need I say More?)
Mannequin - Needs clothes made in sweat shops.... : Chinese Lobby again...
1973 Pacer - made in Detroit: Auto Makers/Union Lobby
Speak -n- Spell - With hooked on phonics as a running mate: Education Lobby
Toilet Seat - Most often used by AARP Members: Seniors Lobby
It's Log - conjured out of thin air by hollyweird types: Media Lobby

So there you have it! I will not vote for Pacer or any other candidates... I will start a "Write In" Revolution!

From now on, I throw my full support and write in vote behind the friend of EVERY American:

Please, I urge you to write in BEER for President on election day. Let's take this country back!

(Paid for by the "Friends of Beer" political action committee: Seabee John, secretary general)

 

[Nerro]

The lamp might shed some light in the murky waters of Washington

 

[EvilTOJ]

Beer - made with barley - FARMER'S LOBBY!!! I knew you were just a lobbyist shill, SeaBee

 

[Baldy_Beer_Brewery]

I'm writing in heaping pile of ****. Heaping pile of **** is extremely underrated and doesn't get the backing and support all those other inanimate objects do.

 

[Seabee John]

Beer - made with barley - FARMER'S LOBBY!!! I knew you were just a lobbyist shill, SeaBee

Darn it... you are right! And I couldn't think of a bigger group of people sucking off the gov tit (outside of the welfare folks of coarse)

I hear by resign my tenure as the secretary general of the "friends of beer" political action committee.

Screw it I'm staying home on election day.

I'm writing in heaping pile of ****. Heaping pile of **** is extremely underrated and doesn't get the backing and support all those other inanimate objects do.

Ahh bug off psychodad.... we all know the mob is tied to sanitation... MOB LOBBY!!!

Is there any inanimate object that is unbiased? not backed by BIG special interest?

I'm very frustrated!

 

[Zul'jin]

I voted Speak and Spell as well for the reasons originally posted and because it does it in English.

I damn sure ain't voting for Screwdriver. Things are screwed up enough already. I get the screws put to me enough as it is, and I really don't like Vodka anyway.

 

[Donasay]

its log is different from it's log! Please its big its heavy its wood!

 

[Zul'jin]

Good point. I don't want it or its log in office.

 

[TheBrewPig]

"What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor's dog?
What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
It's Log, Log, Log!

It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!
Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!
Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!"

 

[PeteOz77]

I'm getting "board" with all of this LOG talk...

 

[EvilTOJ]

I knew yew wood say that, Pete. According to the latest market research, Carbon Rod is going to come in as Log's running mate.

 

[PeteOz77]

I was hoping for Powdered Toast Man...

.

 

[cheezydemon]

I'm second guessing my log vote. We just had a president who thought that we could blindly roll over our enemies.

Oh hell, log would still be better than Gdubb.

 

[blacklab]

Got to agree with bird and go with Happy Fun Ball.

Although I would have picked 'Log' if it were an option. It's better than bad, it's good!

[ame]www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPHtKarae2Q[/ame]

 

[Seabee John]

I've just learned from both CNN and Fox News that happy fun ball recieved an endorsement form the National Porn Producers Union (Who'd a thought that the porn industry was unionized???)

anyway just thought you'd like to know. I'm still attempting to figure out who to vote for in the main election. Not much of a field if you ask me.

 

[Chriso]

I've just learned from both CNN and Fox News that happy fun ball recieved an endorsement form the National Porn Producers Union (Who'd a thought that the porn industry was unionized???)

You've never heard of the Porn Producers Local 420-69 ? They're one of the most vocal unions out there!

 

[Jim Karr]

Are we sure that Ralph Nader isn't inanimate? Has any one of us seen him move in the recent past?

 

[Catfish]

Shouldn't Toilet Seat and Sponge Mop have dropped out by now? I'd expect Happy Fun Ball to go negative soon and expose Speak-n-Spell's potential for spelling out dirty words.

 

[DeathBrewer]

so...what happened to ****** and Turd Sandwich? did they drop out of the race?

 

[MVKTR2]

It's obvious now that "Happy Fun Ball" is capturing the hearts of female voters.

I for one have cast my vote for Log, a favorite since discovering Ren & Stimpy as a college freshman! (It is not I who am mad, it is I who am insane)

My political advice is for Log to team up with 1973 Pacer, this would make a simply unbeatable ticket! Think about the unbeatable militaristic power of Log combined with the sleak lines and awesome speed/mobility of 1973 Pacer.

While Spent Carbon Rod is a sexy pick, I don't think he rounds out the ticket the way 1973 Pacer does... SCR just seems a bit static/stagnant.

And no, no one has seen Ralph Nader move so I do believe the current buzz that Mr Nader is in fact J.C. Penny Mannequin is correct!

Vote for change, vote for It's Log!!!
Schlante,
Phillip

 

[EvilTOJ]

Aw crap, not another political thread! Who posts this garbage anyways?

I'm still holding my vote out for Speak -n- Spell. Sure he's not the most interesting or flamboyant character, but at least his past isn't RIDDLED with scandal like Happy Fun Ball? Ever wonder why Happy Fun Ball hasn't been back on SNL in years? I guarantee that it's not from doing 'side projects' like he says it is!

 

[Air Pirate]

Sponge Mop, he'll clean this country up starting from the very top!