CreamyGoodness
Well-Known Member
As a history major, rituals have always been interesting to me. The most notable ritual we as Americans and Europeans still participate in is the wedding ceremony. Aside from simple guests, there are several wedding roles of people said to be "in the wedding." I should mention, passingly, that until I myself got married I was never chosen to be "in the wedding." It was lucky enough that I was chosen to be "in" my own wedding, come to think of it.
Below are some (completely ficticious) wedding roles that fell out of favor over the centuries.
The Worst Man- Invited because he threatened to kill himself if he wasnt. He used to date the bride, or the Maid of Honor, and liked the world a lot better back then. Lets anyone who will listen know this, loudly. Usually had to be removed forcefully by the Bridesmen.
The Snake Guy What's a wedding without a shirtless dude smoking a cigarette with a boa constrictor around his shoulders? The Snake Guy made a resurgence in the 1980's standing outside pizza shops and in motor home parks.
Bridesmen- Essentially the bride's goon squad. Since the groom's friends and family were still recovering from the bachelor party at this point, the bride's father, uncles and brothers had to make sure she got up and down the aisle unharmed. Also, at least one of them might be detailed to pick her up if she tripped on her dress.
The Inofficiant- This is a title usually bestowed after the wedding was over. Usually replaced mid-ceremony, the Inofficiant would rattle on and on about the power of love and sanctity of marriage, even though he a) was never married or b) was currently boinking the Matron of Dishonor.
Matron of Dishonor- The counterpart of the Maid of Honor. A woman of diminutive virtue (and diminutive attire) who seemed to pop up at just about every wedding. Sometimes useful in distracting The Worst Man, but mostly a nuisance as she distracted everyone else. Often, the Matron of Dishonor would bring a bottle of her own booze (usually something milk or fruit juice based) to an open bar wedding, where she would proceed to drink the entire contents of said bottle before getting into a loud argument with another wedding guest, or her husband.
Isnt history fun?
Below are some (completely ficticious) wedding roles that fell out of favor over the centuries.
The Worst Man- Invited because he threatened to kill himself if he wasnt. He used to date the bride, or the Maid of Honor, and liked the world a lot better back then. Lets anyone who will listen know this, loudly. Usually had to be removed forcefully by the Bridesmen.
The Snake Guy What's a wedding without a shirtless dude smoking a cigarette with a boa constrictor around his shoulders? The Snake Guy made a resurgence in the 1980's standing outside pizza shops and in motor home parks.
Bridesmen- Essentially the bride's goon squad. Since the groom's friends and family were still recovering from the bachelor party at this point, the bride's father, uncles and brothers had to make sure she got up and down the aisle unharmed. Also, at least one of them might be detailed to pick her up if she tripped on her dress.
The Inofficiant- This is a title usually bestowed after the wedding was over. Usually replaced mid-ceremony, the Inofficiant would rattle on and on about the power of love and sanctity of marriage, even though he a) was never married or b) was currently boinking the Matron of Dishonor.
Matron of Dishonor- The counterpart of the Maid of Honor. A woman of diminutive virtue (and diminutive attire) who seemed to pop up at just about every wedding. Sometimes useful in distracting The Worst Man, but mostly a nuisance as she distracted everyone else. Often, the Matron of Dishonor would bring a bottle of her own booze (usually something milk or fruit juice based) to an open bar wedding, where she would proceed to drink the entire contents of said bottle before getting into a loud argument with another wedding guest, or her husband.
Isnt history fun?