Back to the original topic... I made attempt #2 at this, now that attempt #1 has been actually diagnosed. I took a sample to the LHBS last weekend to get checked out, and it turns out I had a lacto infection. It would seem I was milling my grains just a bit too closely to where I was both aerating and pitching yeast into my fermenters, which happens to be the same damn spot where I rack my fermenters to kegs... However, since I've left the original SMASH alone, and have been a bit lazy about dumping it, it's actually turned a corner - the lacto infection has actually produced a quite pleasant tartness at this point. I kinda dig it, and will put this back on tap once I get the room.
But today's effort will go for a clean ferment - I milled outside, completely separate from my brewing area, and completely separate from my packaging/aerating/etc area, so I should be OK so long as there's no residual lacto floating around in the air in my basement... The brew day itself went pretty well, though I didn't boil off quite as much as I wanted to, and so I missed my target OG by about 4 points. I'll take it though. Now to keep it all clean and sanitary...