The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[TheDudeLebowski]

I gotta say the best accent to find is the Downeastah

 

[HoppyDaze]

I don’t have an accent. I speak pure America

 

[Dland]

so you admit to being misogenated?

 

[paulthenurse]

I gotta say the best accent to find is the Downeastah

Ayuh.

 

[paulthenurse]

I don’t have an accent. I speak pure, unadulterated bullsh!t

FTFY

 

[the_bird]

And another thing, that f’ing Hyundai commercial is f’ing stupid.

We don’t sound like that. Ok, we might sound like the two guys but there’s no way we sound like that woman

Not nearly enough "faahks" for the actors to sound remotely realistic. "You cant paaahk ya faahkin caah there, you a*shole!"

 

[day_trippr]

It would be "faahkin' a*shole" for sure.

In other news...thinking this is a good year to get hard core on fishing again...
https://bleacherreport.com/articles...traded-from-red-sox-to-dodgers-in-blockbuster

 

[the_bird]

It's faahkin' Babe Ruth all the faahk over again. What ******* Broadway production do those sh*tholes need to fund this time?

"Oh, we're so ******* poor, we can't pay the best, most charismatic player in the league who happens to be only 27 ******* years old! And we're going to charge more for tickets next year even though we're saving all this fahking money, you fahking idiots!"

Fahk those ******* guys with ******* crashed Hyundai Elantra. Right up the fahkin' keister.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Well. I'm hoping by not having a manager on the payroll they'll reverse their decision on ticket price increase and actually decrease it.

 

[paulthenurse]

Not trading Mookie would be stupidity beyond belief. Mookie is going to go to the highest bidder. He’s not taking the home town discount, he’s upping the market for himself and every other guy in the union. If they don’t trade him and he walked away at the end of the year and they got nothing for him I’d find John Henry’s house and burn it down

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

They got nothing for him. Ride him a year like you care and let him ride off into the sunset or keep him and drop others while u tread water and increase ticket prices. I give Mookie credit tho. Treated the whole procedure very professionally while the clowns did their thing.

 

[paulthenurse]

So I don’t get to burn down the Human Weathervane’s house? Dammit

 

[day_trippr]

Someone seems rather eager to burn something down lately...

 

[paulthenurse]

I got a big bad of marshmallows getting stale in the cabinet.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

I thought it was a pizza...

 

[paulthenurse]

There’s never any leftover pizza

 

[Dland]

Seriously, check out the moon, get a pint, or whatever and go outside & look up, try not to howl too much.

 

[day_trippr]

Nice moon. Pretty moon. Sharp as a tack tonite here.
Fuggin' frosty out, though...

Cheers!

 

[paulthenurse]

It was pretty as all get out.

How have I lived this long and never sat on heated car seats until last night? I SO need a new truck.

 

[paulthenurse]

Serious question, for a change I’m not being a smart ass.

Why in the world would somebody want a receipt for two plain bagels to go? I was at a bagel shop this morning and the old lady in front of me made a point of asking for a receipt when she placed her order for a single egg and a single onion bagel to go, then made a fuss because the girl forgot it. WTF do you do with a receipt for $2.49?

It aggravates the sh!t out of me whenever there is a new person at my Dunkin’ drive through and they insist on giving me a receipt. I don’t need more sh!t cluttering up my passenger seat. Although I kind of get that, ‘the register prints it out, give it to the customer.’ (Who is going to do WHAT with it?)

But to actively seek out a receipt for pocket change? Why?

Hoppy? Anyone?

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

It could have been a mystery shop. Companies pay people to report on their experience, the receipt is proof she was there, and her purchase will likely get reimbursed in addition to whatever an employer paid for the visit.

Why do I know about this? My husband was doing this a long while ago. Once the NY lottery hired to check bars for their lotto signage and would reimburse for a soda. Most bar tenders rolled eyes or shrugged their shoulders at the request for a receipt, but one of the stops the bitchy pregnant bartender and the ash hole owner got downright nasty about it, until I said so sorry, didn’t mean to ruin your day by asking for a receipt. On the upside of that job, we were once paid to see a televised Tyson fight at a club... the one where he bit Holyfield’s ear.

 

[paulthenurse]

Reverting back to the norm...

“I like stories.”

 

[paulthenurse]

Seriously.

A f’ing receipt?

If I were a pregnant bartender and you busted my chops on a busy night for a receipt for a beer I’d follow you home and burn your house down.


Uhhhhh. Never mind. I think my account has been hacked. I have NEVER burnt down a house and I stand strongly against someone burning down anyone’s house.

Except John Henry. F that guy. Burn his house down.

 

[bluemoose]

Maybe she has Alzheimer’s and this is the way she can look back and remember her day.
Maybe it was a reimbursable business expense.
Maybe she is on the knife’s edge with her budget, and needs to account for every penny.
Maybe she just likes screwing with DD employees.
Maybe she knew it would hold up your order of 2 dozen Boston cremes, six breakfast sandwiches and a small decaf.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Paul, da ****** was not busy we stopped in during the afternoon and were the only paying patrons... well we did not pay much on account of having a soda...

 

[HoppyDaze]

Serious question, for a change I’m not being a smart ass.

Why in the world would somebody want a receipt for two plain bagels to go? I was at a bagel shop this morning and the old lady in front of me made a point of asking for a receipt when she placed her order for a single egg and a single onion bagel to go, then made a fuss because the girl forgot it. WTF do you do with a receipt for $2.49?

It aggravates the sh!t out of me whenever there is a new person at my Dunkin’ drive through and they insist on giving me a receipt. I don’t need more sh!t cluttering up my passenger seat. Although I kind of get that, ‘the register prints it out, give it to the customer.’ (Who is going to do WHAT with it?)

But to actively seek out a receipt for pocket change? Why?

Hoppy? Anyone?

Mitch said it best:

 

[paulthenurse]

Maybe she knew it would hold up your order of 2 dozen Boston cremes, six breakfast sandwiches and a small decaf.

It was a dark roast. Decaf? Pffffffff

 

[HoppyDaze]

Dark roast is just burnt coffee beans. So you like your coffee like your pizza, dark black?

 

[bluemoose]

Funny the differences in coasts. On the east coast we call dark black, black, And we call light black gray!

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

What the hell is with Starbucks? Over the holidays I could get dark roast anytime now they are back to “we stop making it at 11AM.” I don’t like Pikes. Their dark roasts have lower caffeine than pikes, better flavor than pikes and less acid then pikes. Its stooped.