The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[balrog]

I'll not lie. I made that up on the fly and didn't think innuendic was a word. $20 whore indeed. I'm worth at least $20.07. Merry Late Michaelmas.

 

[Dland]

On a side note, it took me all of 5 seconds to remember the song with garage & wife reference, and it's probably been 35 years since I heard it.

 

[paulthenurse]

I heard it on my Alexa last week on Willie Nelson radio.

 

[Dland]

I'm grateful my mid/late 20th century stereo system can't monitor me.

Still can drive people out of the house though, if I want it to,,, not that I usually do.

Maybe ask "her" to play some Myrkur for you ....or something from the "Dub Side of the Moon,... anything other than the "groves that were dug too deep in the vinyls of our memories" ...

 

[paulthenurse]

Anybody hanging around at Google headquarters hoping for voyeuristic thrills listening in at my house is going to die a slow, painful, boring death.

 

[day_trippr]

Jeeze, that's sad. Would it be wrong to wish you get some kind of thrill for Christmas?

 

[paulthenurse]

I get my fair share of thrills, just not in the kitchen. I am both civilized and arthritic.

 

[day_trippr]

Ah, a kitchenist then. Too bad, there are lots of sturdy surfaces in most kitchens

My inner Luddite refuses to allow any of these "talk to the 'puter" boxes in the house. Which is somewhat surprising to most considering my career trajectory, but then again, I know things...

Cheers!

 

[balrog]

Ah, a kitchenist then. Too bad, there are lots of sturdy surfaces in most kitchens

My inner Luddite refuses to allow any of these "talk to the 'puter" boxes in the house. Which is somewhat surprising to most considering my career trajectory, but then again, I know things...

Cheers!

Gotta agree. First thing I think when someone says “oooo, Internet if things telling me when I need eggs” is “attack vector into house from Internet”.

 

[Dland]

Inner luddites unit! I'll see you when you make it out of the house...(i'm more of an outdoors ludite).

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Ah, a kitchenist then. Too bad, there are lots of sturdy surfaces in most kitchens

My inner Luddite refuses to allow any of these "talk to the 'puter" boxes in the house. Which is somewhat surprising to most considering my career trajectory, but then again, I know things...

Cheers!

Aah. I know things. I'm all for the robot uprising. Whenever I get bad service I smile thinking a robot will replace this person that really doesn't care about their job. Plus work 24/7 consistently. Hope the human is happy with manufacturing.

I'm a Luddite. I override all the safety functions from the car computer and it's a stick. However, whenever I drive an automatic I'm completely irritated at performance. I'm jumping straight to autonomous. At least I can be asleep when I die.

I had a flip phone to the very end. I wasn't going to pay the same amount of money for a computer in your hand to arrive. I was just patiently waiting.

In my field I know 10 years into the tech future. Heading to Mars beatches!

 

[Dland]

In my field I know 10 years into the tech future. Heading to Mars beatches!

I'll be here on home planet scavenging...as long as I last in the post doom economy.

Not sure who will be better off, but I reckon I'll have more water, and that's kinda important for my plan; ...beer...

 

[paulthenurse]

Me Luddite too.

I bleed people to let the bad blood out then have them drink Dr. Paul’s Patented Pain Pausing Potion. That sh!t will get you to Mars well before The Dudes heavily modified Tesla. And it gives you minty fresh breath.

 

[the_bird]

In my field I know 10 years into the tech future. Heading to Mars beatches!

I'd suggest putting Paulie on the first flight but then you'd need a couple extra rockets.

 

[paulthenurse]

I'd suggest putting Paulie on the first flight but then you'd need a couple extra rockets.

Fat jokes. Very nice. Ain't you a fine example of the holiday f'ing spirit.

 

[paulthenurse]

Do my nurses know me or what?

 

[day_trippr]

That depends on what was under the wrappers...

 

[paulthenurse]

They’ve told me it ALWAYS depends on what’s under the wrapper.


25 years of working with ONLY women talking here. You guys think you talk sh!t? Your ears would burn off listening to my colleagues.

I regularly have to say “You guys do realize I’m standing here hearing this, right!”

 

[Tipsy McStagger]

How did they make those antlers?That's some nice work right there.Merry Christmas to all you dysfunctional A-holes.And I mean that with all the respect and love in my heart.

 

[Dland]

9 pins bowling?

How did they make those antlers?That's some nice work .........And I mean that with all the respect and love in my heart.

That's OK & understandable,... to be plastered on christmas eve.

 

[day_trippr]

That's likely where I'm heading.
I need to kick two kegs tonite. One's down, the other has a few pours left. One of which is staring me in the eye as I type this...

Cheers?

 

[Tipsy McStagger]

Good luck.We're rooting for you.

 

[day_trippr]

69 ounces left per my tap list. It's not looking good wrt kicking #2.

BUT...the last vestige of sobriety just said "*******, just pull it, put it in the conditioning fridge, stick the pick-a-nick tap on it, and stuff a freshie in the keezer. *******."

[My inner self shows little mercy]

So I have that going for me...if I remember it in the morning...

Cheers!

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Ah, a kitchenist then. Too bad, there are lots of sturdy surfaces in most kitchens

My inner Luddite refuses to allow any of these "talk to the 'puter" boxes in the house. Which is somewhat surprising to most considering my career trajectory, but then again, I know things...

Cheers!

I started woodsheding a blues number... On the kitchen table, by the refrigerator light. On the kitchen table, by the refrigerator light... On the kitchen table, Im gonna hold my baby tight... and so on.

 

[Cape Brewing]

View attachment 658523View attachment 658524

Do my nurses know me or what?

Nine bottles of Ensure?

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

You know how big Paulie is? He's got a big day tomorrow: Miralax

 

[paulthenurse]

You know how big Paulie is? He's got a big day tomorrow: Miralax

Don’t knock Miralax and vodka till you’ve tried it.

Merry Magic Baby Day.

 

[Cape Brewing]

I hope the Cola Cola advertisement guy magically brought everything everyone wanted!

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

I hope the Cola Cola advertisement guy magically brought everything everyone wanted!

More like the FedEx and ups guy...

 

[paulthenurse]

Jeff Bezos is proof that God loves me and wants me to stay out of the malls.

Thank you Jeff Bezos.