The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[the_bird]

Crap, first week in October I have too wash my car. I'm out. Could you pick dates that are colder outside. I really like it when it's 40° and I have to wear gloves to brew.

What the **** are you talking about? You were sweating worse that Paulie this past October. If Masstoberfest isn't held when it's below freezing, I'm worried you're going to get heatstroke. Well, not worried.

 

[nhwrecker]

He was sweating 'cause he was afraid he'd miss the first round of $20 champagne at the Opera. He practically wore me out with all his running around.

Hey Dakota, what are you going to have to run out at the last minute and get at the homebrew store this year?

 

[DakotaRules]

He was sweating 'cause he was afraid he'd miss the first round of $20 champagne at the Opera. He practically wore me out with all his running around.



Hey Dakota, what are you going to have to run out at the last minute and get at the homebrew store this year?

Hopefully nothing.

Thinking of a smaller batch size, but my rig isn't set up for small batches.

 

[paulthenurse]

Best part of the whole show was watching you jigsaw that thing into your car. It was like a friggin' Rubics Cube the way you twisted, turned and folded sh!t up to squeeze it into your Prius.

 

[paulthenurse]

Ya know, New Jersey ain't so bad this time of year. If I had a head cold and couldn't smell it would be quite nice.

 

[Melana]

Faaaaak. And you gave me sh!t for mentioning that it was my birthday on the actual day? Ok dickless, we're doing double duty. Melanam, you're the baker amongst us. Will you make Cape a birthday cake?

I would be honored.

 

[paulthenurse]

It doesn't really matter. He won't come anyways. Way too cool.

And besides, I don't really see anybody wanting to be munching on a Dick cake.

Other than Yeager. He'll have seconds.

 

[Cape Brewing]

See? This is total crap... every year its the same thing... "Ewwwww. Cape thinks he's waaaayyyy too cool to show up. Boo hoo hooo".

It's not that I think I'm too cool... i just don't want to go. My choices for that day are: 1) hang out with you dorks...or... B). Anything else.

It's an easy call.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Oh... Then there is the whole "Cape works from freakin' 8:00am until 7:00pm on Saturdays" thing.

 

[bluemoose]

Oh... Sorry guys, I'll be trying to perfect my Barley Brandy recipe that day. I think I'm goin to put a different spin on it.

 

[Cape Brewing]

I hope you trip and fall into an Aids bush

 

[paulthenurse]

Real mature.

 

[paulthenurse]

Oh... Then there is the whole "Cape works from freakin' 8:00am until 7:00pm on Saturdays" thing.

Have you really taken to referring to yourself in the third person? Seriously?

"Cape is tired of PTN poking fun of Cape. Cape is getting mad."

 

[Cape Brewing]

Yes... Cape feels it is appropriate to refer to Cape in that way

 

[Cape Brewing]

Real mature.

Fine... How's..."I hope someone accidentally stabs you in the forehead with their SUV."?

Better?

 

[bluemoose]

That is not very nice. As a pro brewer isn't it your responsibility to nurture the budding interest of home brewers in endeavors like these? Don't you have a responsibility to the brewing community? What would Jim Koch say about your behavior?

 

[Cape Brewing]

No, no, and... he wouldn't say anything... too busy counting his billion dollars.

Now if you'll excuse me, Cape has to begin contemplating his Cape's lunch options.

 

[paulthenurse]

If you're smart you'll come over to the dining commons at UMass. First warm day of spring and the ****ies are popping out everywhere. It's like Disneyland for dirty old men over here today. Farkin' A... Look at her!

I need a cigarette.

 

[paulthenurse]

Holy sh!t. Look at that ride! Man, you would need to hold on with both hands on that one....

 

[Melana]

Paul you crack me up. I heard something about you not being allowed on the UMass campus due to a trench coat situation...

 

[bob1852]

Is Cape bringing the Bog to pro night at NHC in San Diego?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Cape doesn't bring the Bog to pro-night at the NHC... The NHC brings pro-night to the Bog

 

[paulthenurse]

I've created a monster.

 

[paulthenurse]

Paul you crack me up. I heard something about you not being allowed on the UMass campus due to a trench coat situation...

Nothing was ever proven. And besides, who believes a duck anyways?

 

[the_bird]

If you're smart you'll come over to the dining commons at UMass. First warm day of spring and the ****ies are popping out everywhere. It's like Disneyland for dirty old men over here today. Farkin' A... Look at her!

I need a cigarette.

"Tit Wednesday" appears to have come on a Monday this year. I tell you what, it should be a freakin' state holiday.

On a semi-related note, I had to drop the_Boy off at preschool this morning, and while we were waiting I got to chatting with the MILF-iest MILF I've ever seen in my life. You think it'd be suspicious if I volunteered to keeping doing the morning dropoff?

 

[paulthenurse]

Only if you get a decent haircut first.

 

[bluemoose]

I'd leave the bunny ears in the car

 

[paulthenurse]

You never know. There is s certain subset of MILFS who are into goofy guys with bruises everywhere who wear bunny ears. Granted, there's not a lot of them...

 

[Cape Brewing]

Cape doubts the seductive powers of bunny ears.

 

[Melana]

Cape doubts the seductive powers of bunny ears.

They work at the mansion!