The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[yeager1977]

Don't plug the toilet....


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[paulthenurse]

Don't plug the toilet....


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

Still guaranteed to make PTO burst out laughing.

 

[bigjohnmilford]

Still guaranteed to make PTO burst out laughing.

Because you did on both.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[the_bird]

Does it make me a total whack job to change the toilet paper around so that it rolls from the front in my parents bathroom?

Stop whacking around in your parents' bathroom. Take a drive down to the junior high school if you need to get your fix.

 

[paulthenurse]

I didn't actually choke the bowl in Yeagers master bedroom a month after he moved into the joint. I just told him I did. He screamed like he just caught his willy in his zipper and ran up the stairs like his ass was on fire. PTO looked at me with a "Did you really flood the bathroom?" look on his face but before I could answer 'no' we heard Yeager wail "You f'ing arsehole!" from upstairs. PTO near wet himself he was laughing so hard.

 

[paulthenurse]

Hey I've been remiss in not saying how much I admire the_bird for manning up and being so stand up during our recent trip offshore. We were still within sight of the jetty when bird lost his breakfast but he never once moaned or complained all day. I've been fortunate to have only been seasick twice in my life, once the first day on a ship out of Coast Guard boot camp and the second time well offshore in a hurricane. Being seasick sucks. In fact, it would need to improve by a factor of 1000 to reach mere suckdom level. But bird was a trooper. He always attempted to man the rail and fish, and if he couldn't pull it off at least he tried.

Bird, I salute you. You got big balls lad.

 

[yeager1977]

Who are you and what have you done to PTN?

Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[paulthenurse]

Gfy

 

[the_bird]

What the **** was I going to do? If I opened my mouth, vomit would have come out of it.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

And eating raw oysters? That could have easily gone south. I like seafood but I think the only thing I would have kept down was chowder.

 

[the_bird]

I didn't do any raw oysters; I had 'em grilled.

I'm kicking myself a little bit for not trying their "clear" chowder; just curious about it. We're going back this summer, though, the_Wife and I are renting a house in Narragansett for a week with some friends. the_Bean is all into marine biology nowadays, and this restaurant grows their own oysters and apparently does tours of the oyster beds, which we're really looking forward to doing.

 

[paulthenurse]

What the **** was I going to do? If I opened my mouth, vomit would have come out of it.

Excellent point, but you took your beat down like a man. You don't see that much these days, it was worth acknowledging.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

You didn't try PTN's Ipecac Sour did you? I'm sensing regret on a prank gone wrong.

 

[paulthenurse]

You barstid! I told you that in confidence.

Never mind the man behind the curtain. Nothing going on here. Move along, move along. These are not the druids you are looking for.

 

[the_bird]

Was that in the Masstoberfest beer? No wonder it tasted like balls.

 

[paulthenurse]

Ouch. That stung.

 

[paulthenurse]

Anyone going to the Witches Brew tonight? Bought Spawn#2's BF a kit for Xmas and he brewed it a few weeks ago. Time to carb tonight. Fortunately Al believes you have to go to TWB to force carb a keg. I may not have been totally forthcoming on all of the details. So I'm going there tonight with the latest BF and his brew. Sure hope Steve has the DD on tap.

 

[Cape Brewing]

So would this one be Lieutenant?

 

[paulthenurse]

Different daughter.

 

[Cape Brewing]

No.... That's the Captain... This must be the Lieutenant.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew because it impresses people

 

[paulthenurse]

You funny

 

[Cape Brewing]

hehe... it's pretty funny

 

[paulthenurse]

Hey Cape
Any new beers in the pipeline?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Hehe.... No one loves to stir the sht like you man.


You funny


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew because it impresses people

 

[paulthenurse]

I'm the Betty Crocker of the sh!t stirrin' world. You should try my latest creation, The Yeagerdoodle.

 

[paulthenurse]

Actually, the best part is the preparatory stir-age that's occurring undetected behind the scenes. Do you think his head will actually explode when it happens or will he pick up a high caliber weapon and come looking for blood? And will he come after me or you?

 

[Cape Brewing]

High caliber weapon.... and you.... Cuz of course, you know me... I'll just say, "that's what Paul told me to put", and that would be 1,000,000% believable.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew because it impresses people

 

[paulthenurse]

Ya think maybe he's overcompensating for a certain shortage?


Sent using Morse Code cause I'm older than dirt.

 

[Melana]

I've got kettle envy.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Those are the little ones... where are the old Bog pots??