The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[bluemoose]

Good luck Bird. I had a whole freakin share of U3 that mysteriously disappeared into the wind.... And that after Yeager chased my down for the whole $30 as if it was the last $30 his child needed for a heart transplant or something.

Next morning edit? Hammered last night?

 

[bluemoose]

It's not exactly a 'summertime, lawnmower' beer. More of a 'special occasion, share a bottle with 3 - 4 friends' beer.

As far as aging goes, it does take time. Lots of it.

We have the 250th for our town in summer of 14. I figured we would be having a pretty good party, and was looking to brew something now for it. I will probably make some drinking beers for the occasion as well, but I wanted something to sip out of a snifter as well. I also want something to stand the test of time as we could drink a bottle every couple of years or so.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Next morning edit? Hammered last night?

What are you talking about "next morning"? The post is from 6:52 this morning. Hammered this morning??

 

[DakotaRules]

You do party hard!

 

[paulthenurse]

We have the 250th for our town in summer of 14. I figured we would be having a pretty good party, and was looking to brew something now for it. I will probably make some drinking beers for the occasion as well, but I wanted something to sip out of a snifter as well. I also want something to stand the test of time as we could drink a bottle every couple of years or so.

Well, the U would be a nice brew for that, assuming you get it fully fermented. So far we're 2 for 4 (.500) in that department. Not ideal but still better than Ted Williams and his paltry .406.

 

[yeager1977]

Good luck Bird. I had a whole freakin share of U3 that mysteriously disappeared into the wind.... And that after Yeager chased my down for the whole $30 as if it was the last $30 his child needed for a heart transplant or something.

Want it back to help fund the sink hole of an almost brewery? Come get it

 

[paulthenurse]

You do party hard!

For a nancy.

 

[paulthenurse]

Want it back to help fund the sink hole of an almost brewery? Come get it

That right there is how you can tell when Yeager has been at the Blue Balls Brew.

"Come and get it." The last time Yeager heard that he was in Tijuana. He tipped a doorman $2.00 to "Show me the real GOOD stuff!" Down a flight of stairs, into a dark room where he found himself with a Seniorita, a bottle of tequila and a donkey. He got all excited, started panting, his nostrils started flaring and the room suddenly got wicked hot. He was quickly pulling off his Sans-A-Belt slacks when the Seniorita said, "Not you, I was talking to the donkey."

Now, whenever he gets drunk he gets surly. I almost feel sorry for him.


No I don't.

 

[nhwrecker]

Wow. What happened? I remember Happy Hour Friday night, and then I woke up this morning feeling terrible - I had this wicked bad dream that the Patriots lost to Pete Carroll - I know that can't be true, so I'm going to pretend that the entire weekend didn't happen.

Ugghh.. It's like we've got the New England Red Sox, instead of the Pats.

 

[paulthenurse]

You should have kept on drinking.

 

[Cape Brewing]

So far we're 2 for 4 (.500) in that department. .

.... and that's being a bit generous

 

[Cape Brewing]

Want it back to help fund the sink hole of an almost brewery? Come get it

Cool. Thanks. I'll swing by tonight.

 

[bluemoose]

Did you make a low gravity beer with the 99 as a starter?

 

[Cape Brewing]

(giggling and pulling up a chair) Oh man... this is gonna be good.


Yeah Paul. Did you make a low gravity beer with the 99 as a starter?

 

[DakotaRules]

(giggling and pulling up a chair) Oh man... this is gonna be good.

Yeah Paul. Did you make a low gravity beer with the 99 as a starter?

Ha, I'm starting to chuckle myself!

 

[bluemoose]

Would I be better getting tips from this thread?

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/attempting-40-abv-beer-barley-brandy-246775/

 

[Cape Brewing]

Yes. Actually you would.

 

[Cape Brewing]

The joke here Blue is that Paulie, as painful as it is to admit, made a fantastic beer with the very first one he made (aka "U1")... and then, instead of just making that again, Paulie decided it would be an awesome idea to change everything... and oddly enough, it hasn't come out right since.

... including, "Oh hey... I know the first one fermented out perfectly but... nahhhhhhhhh... I'm going to go with a totally different approach to fermenting".

so... yes, we're all very interested to hear how Paul answers your question.

 

[bluemoose]

so, beano then?

 

[the_bird]

U1 really was/is a fantastic beer, one of the best I've ever had the pleasure of sampling. Really smooth, even when it was still pretty young.

U2... not so much. I remember it being a lot more harsh. Didn't Paulie massively jack up the hops on that one? I'm trying to remember if it was just hop bitterness, or if it was more fusel-ey, too.

U3, not sure what happened to that one, haven't had it and U4 I don't think I was invited to!

Was U3 the debut of "MegaTun"? I'm losing track of the years.

 

[bob1852]

Which was the beer where he served as consultant and the dude sparged for about four hours and wound up with over 28 gallons pre boil?

 

[Cape Brewing]

so, beano then?

yeah.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Which was the beer where he served as consultant and the dude sparged for about four hours and wound up with over 28 gallons pre boil?

HAHA... that was my buddy Mike and a friend of his. They were brewing one of their first all-grain batches at my place.

Classic PTN

1) pretend you are the world's foremost expert
2) pull pin and roll sht grenade in the form of "advice"
3) leave
4) sht grenade explodes, leaving everyone cursing PTN and wishing for him to suffer a painful death.

 

[paulthenurse]

F'ing A, I'm a legend in my own time.


Just for the record....

U1. A walk off home run.

U2. We added a couple extra oz of hops in the belief that we wanted to slightly increase the bitterness to balance the sweetness. My portion is still in a wooden cask down in my cellar. I haven't tried it in ages. It was fine the last time I did.

U3. Didn't finish fermenting, stuck at 1.070 or so

U4. Ditto but down to 1.060ish

 

[paulthenurse]

Fark. I'm a bit in the wrapper. I injured my R knee a few weeks ago at work, some farktard sociopath wigged out when we told him, "Ya Dude, you're not goin' home, you just won yourself a 30 day, all expenses paid vacation at the mass Detox Center in Bridgewater. And No, it's not negotiable." So Shetheels suddenly turns back into a 130 # Olympic boxer. (No sheet, this farktard was a professional boxer.) By the time I threw my well nrth of 200# arse onto the pig pile shet heels had dusted three security guards.

So whats my farkin' point? I don't remember.


Oh ya, I ended up at the bottom of the pile of arseholes wrestling on the floor and I farked up my knee. I went to PTyesterday and my leg was killing me when I got home this morning so I hit the gin. (Percocet was an option but gin is an old friend.) And while my leg feels better I'm a bit under the weather as far as posting Utopia advice. So if you can hold on till this afternoon, I'll try then.

PTN

 

[bluemoose]

No problems. I have some prep to do for this and don't expect to start this thing for a few weeks.

 

[the_bird]

Step 1. Make sure you have propane. LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of propane. And, make sure to set aside a twelve-hour block of time, just for the boil.

 

[DakotaRules]

Step 1. Make sure you have propane. LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of propane. And, make sure to set aside a twelve-hour block of time, just for the boil.

And make sure to host it on the web so we can chime in and heckle you!

 

[Cape Brewing]

He's too under the weather to post about beer but has no problem boring all to tears with his uber-interesting story about wrestling a crack head.

(shaking my head per usual)

 

[paulthenurse]

Before I head off to bed.

Blue. Read every 8th or so post on the original U1 thread. Everything we did is in there. A bit obfuscated, true, but in there.

Bird... You neglected mentioneing having an ex HBT hall monitor standing by to watch for boil overs...

Dakota... Until your check clears you have NO fingers to point. (By way of explanation... I sell my kegerator to Dakota in May. He gives me $5.00 as a deposit. As we are leaving on a 150 mile bike ride in the pouring rain in June he hands me a check, written in magic marker, for the balance. I'm ask him if he's serious. You had to be there to understand. It's farking raining buckets.

"Here's the check for the Kegerator."
"Are you serious?"
"Sure. It's good. Just cash it by today at noon."
"uhhh it's a farkin monsoon. How 'bout you pay me later? With cash."
"Sure. No problem."

I'm still waiting.



To Cape... 'Surely you enjoyed the last story... And stop calling me Shirley!!!"