The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[barneygumble]

The Mrs and I went apple picking this morning. She bought some hard cider there too, I had a cider donut. We then proceeded to the grocery store for butter and stuff to make cobbler and pies.

I am sipping on my first UFO of the season.

I just bought a twelver of Pumpkinhead and its in the bar fridge for later.

Its officially September.

 

[yeager1977]

The Mrs and I went apple picking this morning. She bought some hard cider there too, I had a cider donut. We then proceeded to the grocery store for butter and stuff to make cobbler and pies.

I am sipping on my first UFO of the season.

I just bought a twelver of Pumpkinhead and its in the bar fridge for later.

Its officially September.

And you have officially completed your sex change apparently.

 

[the_bird]

 

[barneygumble]

Hey, I aint no pie baker. Not that theres anything WRONG with that. No the pie baking is the mrs job. The pumpkinhead drinking is mine.

Put the mooring cover on the boat today, and I think it might be the last time we take it out this year...

 

[Cape Brewing]

And you have officially completed your sex change apparently.

No sht. I didn't wanna say anything but daaaaamn. And then.. To have Yeager question the cajones.... Jesus.

 

[yeager1977]

No sht. I didn't wanna say anything but daaaaamn. And then.. To have Yeager question the cajones.... Jesus.

Wow and to have cape actually agree with me? So I really must not have been far off...

 

[paulthenurse]

I love it when Yeager gets a little full of himself and starts acting like he's got a pair. It's really pretty amusing. What happened, Chris, the Mrs put out and you lasted longer than your usual two pumps?

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

One word of advice if you ever visit Novare Res in Portland: Bring a notebook. Amazing beer selection. I figured I'd start off with the draft menu keeping it simple. I had like a long arm list of things I was wanting to try in my head but as the waitress kept informing me that they were either out or problems with a cask I was all over the beer map. I did have a good selection of local and foreign. Best thing to do is van up and share bottles as most interesting brews were large bombers. I barely had anything to eat for the day and played 36 holes up in Belgrade so my selection was luckily reduced to the 12oz and under. Plus I was the driver and didn't want to be riding the I95 guard rail home. I'd recommend it. Kind of loud and the college crowd (could be the return to college crowd) the night I was there but the selection is phenomenal. Food menu was small but good. Wait staff a little lacking and restaurant was more beer hall-esque.

 

[barneygumble]

No sht. I didn't wanna say anything but daaaaamn. And then.. To have Yeager question the cajones.... Jesus.

I gotta stay away from that city tap water, all those hormones from the birth control. I found myself twistin mah own teeties this mornin.

The apples are good though. Nothin like the crunch of a fresh apple.

 

[paulthenurse]

Clear the calender. Masstoberfest 2012 will commence early on Sept 29 and continue until the cops come.



I 'pinky-swear' promise that my nurse friends from work will not be farkin' around with the I-pod again. The chief offender has been apologizing for almost a year and asking if she was barred from this years event. Since she did flash the crowd I've granted her a temporary stay of execution.

I'm 'considering' cooking a rear 'leg-o-cow' instead of a pig. What do you guys think?

I actually brewed on Saturday in anticipation of that day, brewed an American ale. Tasted good going into the fermenter. I'll do a batch of the Porter Square this Friday. I'm entered in another triathlon this Saturday, if any of you arseholes are around Craigville Beach around sunset on Saturday come cheer me on as I crawl over the finish line.

PTN

 

[nhwrecker]

Sept. 29th it is! Looking forward to the party this year, for sure, and I've got a few beers that I'll be bringing. In regards to the moo leg - a guy I know from Wyoming told me how he'd cook a 1/2 or 1/4 of a cow each year for a big 4th of July party, where he'd rotisserie it over an open fire, and just continuously slice off the outer layers as it cooks, so that each piece was Med or Med rare - never attended his party, and it obviously would need constant supervision. Just a thought anyway.

 

[Cape Brewing]

(eyeroll)

 

[the_bird]

Sweet! Just talked to Melana, she and Big John should be in. Shot a message over to Billie Clark, maybe he'll take the drive over with me again. And, I don't have to miss David Grisman at MoCA.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Clear the calender. Masstoberfest 2012 will commence early on Sept 29 and continue until the cops come.



.... Since she did flash the crowd I've granted her a temporary stay of execution.


PTN

Didn't happen if there are no pictures.

 

[paulthenurse]

Well to tell the truth, I didn't actually see either Betty or Wilma, I was inside taking something out of the oven. But believe me, Mrs TheNurse saw them and she was not nearly as happy about it as the throng ofdrunk guys gathered bow the deck

 

[the_bird]

How did it compare on Mrs. Nurse's "Fury Scale" to the time Hippie... what did he do, chop up something without a cutting board and ruin your countertops?

 

[barneygumble]

OK
Munich kicks theirs off on the 22nd. Im at a fireworks shoot on the 21 and 22. Last shoot of the year I am available for. It would have been nice to finish the weekend off with a massholeberfest. The 29th? I'm on shift every fri and sat second shift from that weekend till Memorial day. Sun third shift. Except once a month I gotta pull a double second and third.

Have a great time.

I already told ya how to cook a cow. I cooked a few on my roaster. Wrap the ass in fat. Think of someone's wife. Then cover it in soaked cheesecloth. Four layers. Soaked in a mix of beef broth and red wine. Stab chopped garlic in the ass before covering in fat. Salt and pepper too and some lemon zest. Inside the cavity too. A sprig of rosemary in the cavity makes them go hmmm.... Pull it all together tight with chicken wire and rotisserie over medium low coals. Slap the ass with a mop regularly. The fatty ass will drip its juices and want to get things all hot and bothered. dont let her..um..it. About 1/2 hour before service (rare to med rare on the thermometer in the deepest flesh) take the ass off the heat, and peel everything off of it, tie the ass up and spit it and slap it back on again to brown the exterior. remove at medium rare. Let rest at LEAST 25 mins. covered in foil.

 

[paulthenurse]

How did it compare on Mrs. Nurse's "Fury Scale" to the time Hippie... what did he do, chop up something without a cutting board and ruin your countertops?

About on a par... The counters were maybe a month old at the time. The ****ies were much older but have stood up well to the test of time. (At least that is my unofficial, unbiased, view from the fringe. Not that I've ever looked or anything.)

 

[Hamsterbite]

This is a wicked long thread you's guys. Reading through this, I can't help but channel some Adam Sandler from the Psychotic Legend of Uncle Donnie. "Yeah, I had a few chardonays. What of it?"

Ok, ok, he's from New Hampster...fine. But I am
definitely and unabashedly a Masshole, albeit a
displaced Masshole. Phonetic spellings of towns I've lived in as proof: Chemsfid, Berrica, Raveeah, Sale-um Aya, Pepprull, Ashbinham, Gahdnuh, Loll, Graw-in.

 

[Cape Brewing]

(shaking me head in disgust)

 

[Melana]

Sweet! Just talked to Melana, she and Big John should be in. Shot a message over to Billie Clark, maybe he'll take the drive over with me again. And, I don't have to miss David Grisman at MoCA.

Yes, count me in. I'll make sure to cook something tasty for the experience.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Hmmmm. 10+' hurricane produced swells and a triathlon. Can you leave your Dirty Water Porter in your will to me?

 

[barneygumble]

This is a wicked long thread you's guys. Reading through this, I can't help but channel some Adam Sandler from the Psychotic Legend of Uncle Donnie. "Yeah, I had a few chardonays. What of it?"

Ok, ok, he's from New Hampster...fine. But I am
definitely and unabashedly a Masshole, albeit a
displaced Masshole. Phonetic spellings of towns I've lived in as proof: Chemsfid, Berrica, Raveeah, Sale-um Aya, Pepprull, Ashbinham, Gahdnuh, Loll, Graw-in.

Where and when in Ashburnham? I lived on Sunset lake for years. Miss it there.

 

[Hamsterbite]

Where and when in Ashburnham? I lived on Sunset lake for years. Miss it there.

North Ashburnham off of 119 at Mt. Watatic.
The plan is to move back in the spring.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Looking for some advice: I know you guys travel in beer/alcohol centric locations and bring bottles back. I'm heading to San Diego for a couple of days and have a little time for shopping at various locations. I use to just send cases to friends in NH to avoid the old MA laws from the vineyards. However, I'm only going out to SD for a quick turnaround and my suitcase will almost be empty on the way out. Do you guys bring bottles back in checked luggage? and how?...most of it will be individual beers and not wine. I hear airports sell air packaged bags for fragile bottles in checked bags. Is this what you guys use?

 

[Hamsterbite]

Looking for some advice: I know you guys travel in beer/alcohol centric locations and bring bottles back. I'm heading to San Diego for a couple of days and have a little time for shopping at various locations. I use to just send cases to friends in NH to avoid the old MA laws from the vineyards. However, I'm only going out to SD for a quick turnaround and my suitcase will almost be empty on the way out. Do you guys bring bottles back in checked luggage? and how?...most of it will be individual beers and not wine. I hear airports sell air packaged bags for fragile bottles in checked bags. Is this what you guys use?

I am in the Airport Baggage Handling business. When peole ask me if it's really as bad as people say (in terms of rough handling) my answer is that it can be, so it's best to take every precaution.
Many airports still operate with legacy sortation equipment that basically operate like a giant boxing glove. You know, like in the old cartoons...the giant fist on a spring. The baggage handlers can be even worse.

To do it right, plan on the protective packaging taking up a lot more space than the bottles. When you get out here, look up a liquor store chain called Bevmo. They sell wine bottle mailing cartons with foam core inserts. Those work very well for 750's. Theres no way a bottle will get broken in one of those short of the rare carbonation explosions. People ship wine all the time this way, and it works great...just remember that wine doesn't have the carbonation issues. I'd want to wrap the whole thing in plastic just in case.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Thanks. I'm suprised they allow any large amount of liquid in checked these days. I've never had any luck with baggage handling before. I'm definately wrapping it in a couple of plastic bags. I'm still p*ssed that somehow my Caddy Shack dvd was stolen en transit on last years golf trip. I was weary of trying to bring back beer.

 

[Cape Brewing]

I brought back something insane like 17 750s a year or so ago from the NHC in San Diego. I went to CVS and bought some bubble wrap, wrapped the eff out of each bottle, stuffed my suitcase and a simple duffle bag, and checked em. Not one broken bottle. I flew first class (got the seat on points) but I seriously doubt that helped the bags in any way.

 

[bob1852]

I flew a case of homebrew to DC a couple months ago in checked baggage. I put each bottle in a hiking sock or wrapped in a t-shirt. No broken bottles. I've done this a few times without any breakage.

 

[Hamsterbite]

I brought back something insane like 17 750s a year or so ago from the NHC in San Diego. I went to CVS and bought some bubble wrap, wrapped the eff out of each bottle, stuffed my suitcase and a simple duffle bag, and checked em. Not one broken bottle. I flew first class (got the seat on points) but I seriously doubt that helped the bags in any way.

If those baggage handlers only knew that bag belonged to someone in first class it would have been luggage soup. NEVER put any kind of Fragile signage on checked items. If it's fragile, don't put it in there, or take sufficient packaging precations so that it is no longer fragile.

I'll tell you the problem with bubble wrap. If your bag is flagged for hand inspection, TSA is going to unwrap all of your packages and not take the same care you did to put it back together. Then they are all going to have a good laugh.
At least with the wine cases, it's a simple matter of putting the bottle back into the bottle shaped foam insert.