The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[bluemoose]

Dakota, do you wonder if Paul had his handbag when diving in a fish tank?

 

[DakotaRules]

Dakota, do you wonder if Paul had his handbag when diving in a fish tank?

I would guess he tried to bring in his deep fryer. He never leaves home without it.

 

[yeager1977]

Witch's Brew is in Foxboro and that is a bit of the "club HBS" but he doesn't carry WLP.

Not true. He now carries white labs. Crosby baker stopped carrying anything other than dry yeast. So he get white labs now

 

[paulthenurse]

Dakota, do you wonder if Paul had his handbag when diving in a fish tank?

Alice does carry a small bag with her when we dive, I call it her purse. She fills it with shells and other stuff then throws in a few handfuls of kelp to keep the stuff cushioned. We were on a boat once with a guy we didn't know. She climbed back on board and the dive monkey grabbed her gear and catch bags. He glanced at her purse, didn't see any lobsters in stand assumed that the stuff inside was crap and dumped it over the side. I hope she never gets that mad at me, it was kinda scary.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Not true. He now carries white labs. Crosby baker stopped carrying anything other than dry yeast. So he get white labs now

Ok... What??? Did you think I didn't believe PTO when he said the same thing ten posts and five days ago??

Way to be on the ball Flounder. What are you gonna do next? Tell me the Pats beat the Ravens?

 

[paulthenurse]

He didn't know they won till this morning. Herself wouldn't let him watch the game. She told him it's too violent and wouldn't let him expose the cherubs to such brutality.


I guess the way she smacks him around is different in her eyes.


Hey Yeager, did she agree to a U4 day yet?

 

[yeager1977]

Ok... What??? Did you think I didn't believe PTO when he said the same thing ten posts and five days ago??

Way to be on the ball Flounder. What are you gonna do next? Tell me the Pats beat the Ravens?

Sorry for replying before reading the next ten pages of crap on this board.

 

[yeager1977]

He didn't know they won till this morning. Herself wouldn't let him watch the game. She told him it's too violent and wouldn't let him expose the cherubs to such brutality.

I guess the way she smacks him around is different in her eyes.

Hey Yeager, did she agree to a U4 day yet?

She agreed to U4 being here. Have to move U3 out of the closet first though. I need carboys... Now we need a date

 

[DakotaRules]

Now we need a date

I bet Paul has heard that a few times from you!

 

[modernlifeisANDY]

GUYS

I am out of Boston and back on the South Shore. Any other Plymouthians feel like a brew day soon?

Also, how is everyone? Haven't seen many of you since Masstoberfest (not this year's, last year's)

 

[DakotaRules]

Your back! I was wondering what happen to you!

 

[paulthenurse]

I figured Yeager killed him and buried him in his basement.

 

[modernlifeisANDY]

Your back! I was wondering what happen to you!

Yeah had a lot go on in the last year so I have been MIA but have still been brewing. Had a kid, lost my job, got a new job, bought a house.

BUT still managed to get a new double burner and a March pump to add to my system, haha!

 

[Cape Brewing]

I'm brewin' Sunday. And sh!t

 

[modernlifeisANDY]

I am snowboarding on Sunday so the plan is brew day on Saturday!

 

[DakotaRules]

Whatcha brewing?

 

[modernlifeisANDY]

Not sure yet. I have ingredients for an American pale and a hefeweizen. Probably going to do the hefe, since I have an amber and an IPA kegged.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Hey... just a word of warning for anyone who's going to be brewing with PTN anytime soon.... if he "explains" the "correct way to sparge" to you in all of his brewing brilliance... RUN. Don't try to discuss it with him. Don't try to reason. Don't even try to save the batch you have going on... just run. Full speed. Preferably with your arms flailing in the air and high pitched, Yeager-like, girly screams coming from your mouth.

... unless you WANT to do a nine hour boil. THEN... then you should listen.

Luckily I ignore 99% of what Paul says about brewing but two noobs at my place this past weekend weren't seasoned vets like I am when it comes to Paul's advice... and unfortunately for them, I was hittin' the sauce and not really paying attention to what they were doing on Paul's "advice". Poor bastids.

But HEY!!! No DMS! That's fo' damn sure!

 

[paulthenurse]

You are the pure, unadulterated essence of evil. Quite impressive actually. How do you maintain that standard?

PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

I think there should be a constitutional ammendment that makes it a capital crime for a 12 year old skateboarder to smash into someone from behind. Not once yesterday but twice. And another one smashed into Alice. My farkin left knee is killing me. I could strangle the little bastards with my bare hands. And the second little **** had the audacity to look at me and ask why I was mad?

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

Don't you mean snowboarder?

Senility's a ****** ain't it.

 

[Cape Brewing]

You are the pure, unadulterated essence of evil. Quite impressive actually. How do you maintain that standard?

PTN

Whaaaaaat?? Dude... they TOTALLY boiled off ANY DMS. That's good right?!?

They learned a valuable lesson that day!

 

[Cape Brewing]

LOL!!! The best part of the whole "PTN Sparge Episode" was the fact that they were all into it... "Ok... yup... oh yeah... that's makes sense. Wow, Paul's super smart about brewing!"

They did what you told them... and just when they starting running off the extra 12 gallons...

... you left.

As if you were saying, "Ok.. well... my work here is complete!"

... and then, for the next 40 minutes as the gallons just piled up and piled up and piled up... they went from "Yeaaaaaa!!! Paul is super awesome for helping us!!" to... "Uhhh... this seems like a lot of water"... to... "This can't be right"... to... the inevitable... "&*%(in' PAUL!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!!! JEEEEEEEESUS!!! We're gonna be boiling for a week!!!"

Watching a noob make the entire Paul experience life-cycle was an absolute site to behold.

I'm still giggling.

 

[paulthenurse]

I bet you use a snowboard.

And being you should DEFINATEY be a capital offense.

 

[DakotaRules]

Thats too funny! PTN getting blasted by snowboarding kids and someone taking his brewing advice!

 

[bluemoose]

Damn kids. (shaking arthritic fist)

 

[Cape Brewing]

I bet you use a snowboard.
.

Nope. Planks for me. The difference is I don't get caught from behind by 12 year olds.

 

[bob1852]

And being you should DEFINATEY be a capital offense.

The jerk store called; they're running out of you...

 

[paulthenurse]

The jerk store called; they're running out of you...

Holy Buttslurp Batman!

Did Cape tell you the exact words to use or have you been idolizing him for so long that you could spout it off by rout?

Good grief!

 

[bob1852]

Holy Buttslurp Batman!

Did Cape tell you the exact words to use or have you been idolizing him for so long that you could spout it off by rout?

Good grief!

I own stock in Cape. I missed the fine print that says I need to repeat his babble.