The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Dave Sarber]

COVID Man got to visit with Steve A, of The Witches Brew, Mrs A, Yeager and his lovely wife, for a few minutes this evening. A couple of beers, a couple of laughs and some much needed social less distancing.
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And the dog seems smitten with me.

It's the cheese in your crotch. Or possibly the smoked sausage codpiece.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

I love the tee shirt, Paul.

 

[day_trippr]

lmao! That's not totally mind-warped at all!

 

[HoppyDaze]

The Beyond Burger is much better than the impossible

 

[paulthenurse]

He started it.

 

[QTikiBrew]

I had some fu<ktard screaming at me yesterday when I swabbed her nose for covid. She got a tiny little bit of a bloody nose and she sounded like she was being mauled by a dull toothed alligator.

What a whiner! I got the damned thing when I "deployed" to Texas for DOD response coordination; I've now had three runs of swabs done: initial test, leaning my head out of the car, 9 days since onset; then I volunteered for a study of recovered patients, which required nasopharyngeal AND throat swabs, as well as blood draws - my second run for the study, I flinched, the practitioner said "I'm going to have to re-do that one" (argh) but I didn't whine about it. The swab's a lot better than getting tubed, FFS.

It's not your fault she's probably snorted too much of her kid's adderall and now has septum issues.

 

[paulthenurse]

Look, I couldn't give a flying fu(k at a rolling donut what you eat for your dinner. If you want to eat plants in the mistaken idea that you are good and I am evil because I eat meat, then I say go for it. Just don't preach to me, I don't care to listen. I, like most of the sane world, prefer not to listen to zealots.

I used to work with a cardiologist who was a reluctant vegetarian. He was a vegetarian because his wife made him be. And every evening we'd sit around the table and he'd try to fast talk you into trading suppers. "Hey, wanna try this. It tastes like a cheeseburger."

"No it doesn't Tom. Ya know what tastes like a cheeseburger? A cheeseburger. Ground up cow with curdled milk on top. Whatever that is you've got there tastes like goat ****. I've tried that. You fooled me once, that won't happen again. And if eating animals is so bad, how come you try to make your supper taste like animal?"

And poor Tom would get this terribly sad look on his face and go back to eating his goat **** salad. I always felt happy for him whenever we got a n00b working in the ER, because for a while at least, he had a slim chance of cadging someone out of their dinner with his false promises. Of course, you had to be pretty on the ball to work there so it didn't last for long, but he had a punters chance.


OK, now everyone... PLEASE. Ignore Tofu Boy. If he stops getting a reaction he'll go away.

 

[balrog]

That escalated fast. I am still removing debris from the tornado watch yesterday here in Spfld area. Radar went from green(rain) to yellow, to red, to chartruese, to goatsblood, and hovered near 2dayoldbloodblisterpurpleblack a bit. Luckily, no beer was harmed.

 

[day_trippr]

Yum! I hope you made enough for everybody!

The only storm damage we found in our walks around the neighborhood today was a huge pine - maybe 32" diameter - that broke off above the trunk, did a full layout across the road, and landed on an SUV parked in the folks' driveway, doing an instant chop and channel job on it, blowing out all the glass in the process. That is one totalled SUV...

 

[Dland]

"You lucky. lucky bastards... "...all we got was some rain squalls in the early AM. At this point I could go for a good Cat 2-3 storm. Put a nice big stomp on the just emerging tourist industry around here. Kick it in the gutter just as it brushes itself off. Step on its fingers as it desperately grips the gunnel. :}

Anyway, hope everyone here has a good peaceful evening and gets some sleep.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

"You lucky. lucky bastards... "...all we got was some rain squalls in the early AM. At this point I could go for a good Cat 2-3 storm. Put a nice big stomp on the just emerging tourist industry around here. Kick it in the gutter just as it brushes itself off. Step on its fingers as it desperately grips the gunnel. :}

Anyway, hope everyone here has a good peaceful evening and gets some sleep.

Yup, there’s been a lot of wind around latel.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Weird, my comment in this thread was deleted. The reason was "cleaning up the train wreck". Isn't this whole thread a train wreck?

 

[Dave Sarber]

Weird, my comment in this thread was deleted. The reason was "cleaning up the train wreck". Isn't this whole thread a train wreck?

Leave it alone. We're trying to create Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.

 

[balrog]

This is Mr. PTNs neighborhood. Kind of a cross between Animal Farm and Unreal Tournament. A little crazy, a lot funny, and every so often, someone screaming "MY HOUSE" at you. But with heart. And purportedly a pizza oven.

Without the jello.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Weird, my comment in this thread was deleted. The reason was "cleaning up the train wreck". Isn't this whole thread a train wreck?

Like a certain something didn’t happen, almost.

 

[paulthenurse]

Don’t worry Rick, about 15 of mine got erased.

Heck we’ve had far worse squalls in here than this little summer shower, I wonder who got all butthurt and cried to the teacher? Hmmmmmm. Who could it have been?

 

[Dland]

5 of mine gone, which represented a few minutes of thought, a trip out to a shipping container for a guillotine photo op, and over a half an hour of drunkin amusement.

(faceplant emogee) I'm starting to think this forum,.... and this thread in particular may not be the best use of my time. ;}

 

[paulthenurse]

Good Lord, hitting yourself on the head with a hammer would be a better use of time. Which is kind of the point.

 

[Rodent]

must have been quite the *storm after I left to serve dinner late yesterday afternoon, but better to have a sanitized thread than a locked thread. glad I missed it

on a positive note, my first Tavour order arrived just in time for the weekend and included were several beers from ME. I'm looking forward to cracking several of these open over the next few days

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Dare I ask what you served for dinner? Please don't say tofu.

 

[paulthenurse]

Yes, I heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from another that it got ugly in here last night.

Thank you to the mod who stepped in the middle and cleaned things up. Tough job refereeing children.

 

[paulthenurse]

Damn it, now I’ve got that song burrowing into my brain.

 

[Rodent]

Dare I ask what you served for dinner? Please don't say tofu.

pulled pork butts. forgot I was out of Hickory so I used Apple wood smoke instead

I really wish I'd have had a case of Harpoon IPA to go along with it, but it's one of the sacrifices of leaving Mass for the Upper Left Corner years ago

 

[paulthenurse]

The only rule is 'There Are No Rules,' other than the overall HBT decorum guidelines.


PTN

From my original post opening up this thread.


No more shouting “Theatre” in this dumpster fire. Be Dysfunctional Obnoxious Massholes and DOM Wannabes. It’s part of your (albeit limited) charm. But no more threatening because you disagree with someone else’s beliefs. Call him stupid, say the best part of him ran down his mothers leg and stained the mattress, question his ability to count beyond 10, say he sleeps with goats....

.... Ok, since animal activism started our recent hand slap, maybe don’t mention beastiality.

But no threats!

You know what I’m saying. Don’t play nice but don’t cross the Maginot Line.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

I found this on Etsy... I wonder if it can be engraved.

 

[paulthenurse]

I wonder if we can roast tofu over it....

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Couldn’t make it taste any worse.

 

[paulthenurse]

I went back and read the last 6~8 pages. Very disjointed with the deleted posts, and if you missed the Donnybrook... consider yourself lucky. Its been a long time since we had a true DSM 5 diagnosis participating in this thread. I suggest we all count our blessings and hope that not only were TofuBoy 's posts deleted but he got sent to permanent Time Out. Hell, I'm an obnoxious azz-hole too, but even I wait to figure out who I'm pissing off before I start swinging.

So, moving on...

If a baseball game took too long before, if they implement half of what I'm hearing they'll doom it deader than an old fat diabetic with heart disease and the Kung Flu. Wiping down the ball between pitches? WTF?

 

[day_trippr]

Everyone should wear gloves on both hands and keep a bucket of sanitizer within dunking reach?

 

[balrog]

Damn it, now I’ve got that song burrowing into my brain.

And the tales grow taller on down the line.

Yep. Mindworm. Thanks a bunch. Gonna take one of them nasosinudoidal rotorouter checkers you're fond of using in order to clean it out.