The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[bluemoose]

Let me know if you are going of the coast of Vermont.

 

[paulthenurse]

Let me know if you are going of the coast of Vermont.

Will do.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

He dosent need to waste all that gas to see a bunch of whales, just needs to look in a mirror

You know that from experience?

 

[yeager1977]

Why oh why are people replying to him and quoting him????


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[the_bird]

RIP, Don Zimmer.

 

[paulthenurse]

Dead gerbils sure do bring a thread to a halt quick.

 

[paulthenurse]

What's your guess on the # of wins for the Olde Towne Team this season?

I'm gonna say 80. They pretty much have shown who they are and who they are is a below 500 team.

 

[Melana]

My 'new' grapes....

 

[paulthenurse]

Nuttin' quite like Portagee wine!

I COULD be out on LSU today...

Or I COULD be working on the oven...

Instead I'm tearing down walls and moving a toilet five feet. Admit it. You ALL secretly wish you were me.

 

[Melana]

Looks like fun Paul!

 

[the_bird]

Why are you moving the ****ter, Paul? Need a couple extra feet for your backside?

 

[Melana]

Why are you moving the ****ter, Paul? Need a couple extra feet for your backside?

Because mrs. The nurse told him to.

 

[DakotaRules]

My 'new' grapes....

I was hoping for pics of your "grapes!"


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[Melana]

I was hoping for pics of your "grapes!"


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Ha! Not worth seeing....

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Grapes or grapefruits, they're all worth looking at. Bananas however, are not.


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[TheDudeLebowski]

To each their own unless they're into blueberries. That's just fruity.

 

[paulthenurse]

DIY projects are like nuclear fusion. You need to club them over the head occasionally to keep them from reaching critical mass.

I THINK I'm ready to put the floor back down.

 

[Melana]

Paul I don't think your waste pipe is big enough for your..... Waste.

 

[the_bird]

"Paulie, I don't think your pipe is big enough."

Man, if you had a nickle for every time a woman said that to you!

 

[bob1852]

Any of you massholes going to NHC?

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

soaking cork. lol

 

[paulthenurse]

My pipe is more than adequately sized, thank you very much.

 

[paulthenurse]

Any of you massholes going to NHC?

Are they going to have toilets there?

 

[paulthenurse]

Got that bad Larry running again JUST in a nick of time! Another five minutes and we would have had a laundry issue.

 

[paulthenurse]

Ok so I need some 'medical advice.' About a month ago my idiot daughter decided to have a mid life crisis at 26. She quit her job, broke up with The Captain, packed 900 pounds of **** into a car designed to hold a bud vase and an aging hippy and drove to Florida with less than a thousand dollars in her pocket.

Yes. She's a f'ing idiot.


But it gets worse. Since she's been in FL it appears she's been aggressively trying to cure a nonexistent case of glaucoma and has sparked up a bale or two of weed.

Yesterday she gets offered a job. (Can I get an Amen?)

Tomorrow she needs to go for a preemployment physical, which I'm assuming will involve pissing in a cup. Anyone know how to fix a urine test. The kid needs a job and other than being remarkably stupid is actually pretty smart and a good kid.

"The Wizinator" is not a viable option.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Fly down there immediately and take the test for her. The only bad thing that will happen to her is they'll find out that she has premenopausal osteoporosis.

Actually, just tell the truth. Say you might have indulged when you were living up in Mass (where it is legal) and you might fail the test. It's FL and they might be afraid of ACLU implications. I know people that have used the Whizinator and it does work. They do frown upon drugs in those kind of screenings tho. I've had to reply back to a very intense screening with "what exactly do you mean by 'ever been arrested before?'" and flew thru the process just by saying no to drugs.

 

[Bulls Beers]

Depends on when she last smoked, but drink a lot of water. Keep drinking water. Not much else you can do in that short of time. Good luck..I hope she gets the job.

 

[bluemoose]

Tell her to put a bit of soap under her fingernail and drop it in the sample. It should ruin the sample and hopefully she can be good to go by the time they retest.

That is if you don't find a better alternative. This is usually a better option if you already have the job.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Delay it. Use the family emergency excuse. THC stays in the fat for 30 days and is not water soluble.

 

[DakotaRules]

There are many options available to her. The last thing you want to do is create a false positive and retake a test. It shows something might have been/was something there.

They have a couple of drinks that you take 24, 12, and an hour before a test.

Ask rick.


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