The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Cape Brewing]

Put it this way.... Given what a huge, massive, d-bag I am... How else would I pull my SWMBO??

The woman sacrifices..... but all is made equal

 

[paulthenurse]

Tell us all how your great great great grandfather wandered out into the wilderness of Pawtucket and grabbed some squaw by the hair and dragged her home...

And they all lived happily ever after.

I f'ing LUV stories like that .

 

[Cape Brewing]

Tell us all how your great great great grandfather wandered out into the wilderness of Pawtucket and grabbed some squaw by the hair and dragged her home... And they all lived happily ever after. I f'ing LUV stories like that .

Whatever Stumpy

 

[bigjohnmilford]

Appropriately so... He showed me. I wasn't impressed

1. As we all know you're not easily impressed.
2. It was cold that day.
3. You said I promise I won't tell anyone.

No wonder Frank and Matt only let you show up on days when the public isn't around.

 

[Cape Brewing]

1. As we all know you're not easily impressed. 2. It was cold that day. 3. You said I promise I won't tell anyone. No wonder Frank and Matt only let you show up on days when the public isn't around.

Ahhhhh crap... Now I feel like I have violated some trust !!


Ps. Check your SWMBO's text messages.

 

[Thunder_Chicken]

Every time I look in this thread I'm reading about dudes checking out other dude's junk. I know it's Massachusetts and all and that OK, but get a room.

 

[yeager1977]

Hey, are there going to be strippers at the Bog Christmas party? Throw us a bone and give us a reason to go. Really. They don't need to be good looking, lets face it, they won't be. But you've gotta make it worthwhile.

Actually it sounds like you want to throw a stripper your bone instead of getting capes. Just saying

 

[yeager1977]

Speak for yourself Stumpy... American Indian here... Let's just say my ancestors didn't just use their finger tips for foraging.

Go sell bog waster inn beer at Foxwoods. I dare you to use the excuse of being part Native American.

 

[yeager1977]

Tell us all how your great great great grandfather wandered out into the wilderness of Pawtucket and grabbed some squaw by the hair and dragged her home... And they all lived happily ever after. I f'ing LUV stories like that .

Hey Paul why don't you bore us with another of your amusing can't turn away ancestory stories. That is sooooo much better than talking about capes supposed Native American heritage. Really it is..................

 

[paulthenurse]

Hey Yeager isn't that SWMBO calling you? Better run quick.

 

[Melana]

I think Yeager is drunk posting again!

 

[paulthenurse]

I think Yeager is drunk posting again!

Gee, do ya think?

We all know that I'd never do that so I'm good to rip him for it. But I'll let it slide cause of what a mellow, laid back guy I am.

 

[Melana]

Weird double post.

 

[Melana]

Gee, do ya think?

I try not to... It hurts.
Wait... You're a nurse, can you help me with that?

 

[paulthenurse]

Sure. Lets start with the basics. Bend over and Ill check your temperature.

 

[the_bird]

... "It'll probably buff right out" are not the words you want to hear with respect your new ****ing car....

 

[Melana]

... "It'll probably buff right out" are not the words you want to hear with respect your new ****ing car....

Yikes! What did you back into?

 

[Melana]

Omfg it's flipping windy.

 

[the_bird]

Yikes! What did you back into?

I. Did not do ****.

 

[the_bird]

Omfg it's flipping windy.

It's not so ****ing windy that you can't be expected to hold a car door and keep it from knocking off the mirror of the car right next to you!

 

[Melana]

It's not so ****ing windy that you can't be expected to hold a car door and keep it from knocking off the mirror of the car right next to you!

Yikes. Relax and have a few beers. Makes everything better.

 

[day_trippr]

Against my better judgement I ran out to the local Best Buy to order a replacement for my near-death keezer, and when I opened the car door in the vast exposed expanse of their parking lot I nearly lost my left arm at the shoulder. Not good.

Didn't clip anything, but that's only because I always park my Sunday Driver out in the boonies...

It's gonna be a bitch of a game tonight. Not that I ever do, but I don't envy anyone that's hanging out in Foxboro in that wind and cold.

Thinking we'll have a nice fire tonight...

Cheers!

 

[DakotaRules]

... "It'll probably buff right out" are not the words you want to hear with respect your new ****ing car....

Did your wife get in an accident again?

 

[paulthenurse]

Jay, just accept the fact that Shan can't drive worth a damn and give her your shi!tbox and keep the new car for yourself. I was actually going to suggest that you buy her a bike but I'm not sure if she still has to drive over the mountain to get to work now that she's a bonafide dahhkta.

Actually, how about a moped? Just load up on insurance in case she drives a moped as poorly as she drives a car.

I've got a cousin who's a cop. His Dad, my uncle, was a cop. He told me something once that stuck with me. He said that 99% of the people on the road think that they are excellent drivers and the rest of the people on the road are idiots. Scary.

I was reminded of that today when I went to the hardware store. I stopped a few stores down from the one I was headed to because someone was pulling out of a space. Some dingbat broad, talking on a cell phone, in a bright red convertible, swings around the bank of parked cars and tries to pull in front of me. Where the hell does she think she's going to go? Why does she THINK I just up and stopped in the middle of the parking lot? Then, once this genius figures out WHY I stopped (When she came bumper to bumper with the car that was backing out) she backed out of the spot she'd gotten herself into and went around the other way. Eventually, she pulled into a spot one spot away from the one I was pulling into. I stopped and waited till Sugar Tits was out of her car and walking away before I pulled in. "Congratulations there Punkin. You made it."

 

[paulthenurse]

It won't happen tonight. It probably won't happen this year. It might not happen for decades. But sometime in the future Payton Manning is going to roll over at 4 AM, look at his wife softly snoring in bed next to him, stare up at the ceiling and wish he was Tom Brady.

 

[the_bird]

I was having a ****ty day until I saw this. Drunk Chicago Bears fans deciding that a footrace was a good idea.

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

I was having a ****ty day until I saw this. Drunk Chicago Bears fans deciding that a footrace was a good idea.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17ZWHCMiWJU

that was farking hillarious. I could see yeager doing something like that after some blueberry beer

 

[Melana]

Crappy days are going around!

 

[the_bird]

So many good jokes about that video that I can't take credit for. "Proof that in Chicago, you can't go half a block without running into a Pole." "Does that mean that the guy in the Payton jersey has dibs on that parking space?"

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

wow, tix for the bog inn anniv/holiday party sold out, I never got a chance to get mine. Oh well