The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[paulthenurse]

Hey Blueberry Boy!

Got a pretty good load on puttin away that 2.5% BlueDeath last night, didn't ya?

I bet your urine is purple this morning! Lol

 

[paulthenurse]

So Blueberry Boy just calls me "Omg, purple piss! That is a riot!"

Me, "Are you OK?"
BB, "Sure, why?"
Me, "Cause your post last night sounded like a third grader having a psychotic temper tantrum."
BB, "You didn't think that was funny? C'mon, that was funny!"
Me, "No it was F'ing stupid. Please lose my number."

 

[DakotaRules]

How did his hangover sound? Maybe he was taking gravity readings last night too.

 

[paulthenurse]

You've obviously never met his SWMBO. Chris gets to drop his hydrometer in the hot wort about once every eight to ten months. He's not due till October.

PTN

 

[the_bird]

Boy, that's a long time to ferment. I think I'd have a blowoff.

 

[paulthenurse]

You got active yeast.

Chris? Maybe not so much. Let's just say that according to Mrs Yeager the Utopia isn't Chris's first stalled fermentation, if you get my drift. The lad spends a fortune on internet 'yeast nutrient', gives it a good stir and still it won't ferment. Fortunately, she has a Blinkman stainless steel autosiphon of her own for when she has too many volumes of carbonation that she needs to blow off.

 

[the_bird]

The only time I've had a stalled ferment is when I've hit my alcohol tolerance level.

 

[the_bird]

You know, the rumor is that Chris kind of likes lager yeasts. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

 

[DakotaRules]

This is hilarious!

 

[yeager1977]

This is hilarious!

Thank you captain obvious

 

[DakotaRules]

Wow, who pissed on your dinner and breakfast??? Are you mad at God for giving you a limp d!ck this week?

If you want me to start messing with you I will, but I won't go easy on you like I do with your mom.

You have been warned.

 

[yeager1977]

Nice!

 

[the_bird]

Children!

And yes, that's a scolding. I'm not giving the paedophile a heads-up that there are kids about.

 

[Cape Brewing]

(cracking my knuckles)

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

I think this thread is getting higher than R rated, by page 61 we may be in X rated territory. I love it

 

[paulthenurse]

I think this thread is getting higher than R rated, by page 61 we may be in X rated territory. I love it

Out of the mouths of babes...

Ok Yeager, you and Dakota each get a two minute minor for unoriginal and unfunny insults. You're both in the penalty box till Thursday. When you come out, try to be a creative Masshole. No more standing around acting like you're from freaking Jersey. If you are going to cut each other to pieces (let's face it, that's the whole idea of this thread) use that thing underneath your hair.

Chris, I should probably be more specific with you since you have two unused organs that reside under some hair. I am referring to your brain. Be creative in your insults , but not so creative that no one knows WTF you are talking about. Whale sperm would be exhibit 1.

Dakota, no more threats. Play nice as you play dirty.

/acting like your F'ing Muttah.

 

[DakotaRules]

I thought I was behaving!

 

[paulthenurse]

I thought I was behaving!

No backtalk. You're in the box till tomorrow. Don't make me give you a technical.

 

[paulthenurse]

WTF happened with the Dodgers while I was sleeping?

 

[Cape Brewing]

wait... what??

 

[paulthenurse]

wait... what??

Castig jus said MLB took them over!

 

[the_bird]

"Make an unoriginal insult, you spend the night in the box.
Insult someone's mother, you spend the night in the box.
Unintelligible references to the sex organs of large aquatic mammals, you spend the night in the box.
Neglecting to wash out another man's brew kettle, you spend the night in the box.
Neglecting to properly drain the cleaner from your brew system, you spend the night in the box.
Brew a beer with 20 pounds of crystal malt, you spend the night in the box.
Attempting to ferment a 1.200 beer with the starter from a pale ale, you spend the night in the box."

EDIT: Knowing this crowd, I should have left in the one one about "Any man caught playing grabass, spends the night in the box."

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

"Make an unoriginal insult, you spend the night in the box.
Insult someone's mother, you spend the night in the box.
Unintelligible references to the sex organs of large aquatic mammals, you spend the night in the box.
Neglecting to wash out another man's brew kettle, you spend the night in the box.
Neglecting to properly drain the cleaner from your brew system, you spend the night in the box.
Brew a beer with 20 pounds of crystal malt, you spend the night in the box.
Attempting to ferment a 1.200 beer with the starter from a pale ale, you spend the night in the box."

EDIT: Knowing this crowd, I should have left in the one one about "Any man caught playing grabass, spends the night in the box."

"And for spear, you know, like that. All bad. You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes by yourself, and you feel shame, you know"

Do you guys allow gun play during your brewfests

 

[the_bird]

"Reference the wrong movie, you spend the night in the box."








Sh!t.

 

[paulthenurse]

All this talk of spending the night in the box is going to make Yeager act like a total *******. He's hasn't been anywhere near the box in ages. The idea of actually spending the entire night in one probably sounds pretty appealing to him. (Not that he would be able to keep up his end of the bargain.)

 

[the_bird]

Good thing they refer to it as "the box" rather than "the hole" in the movie; otherwise, poor Yeager's head might explode.

 

[paulthenurse]

I'd pay good money to see that.

PTN

 

[PaulTheOriginal]

Good thing they refer to it as "the box" rather than "the hole" in the movie; otherwise, poor Yeager's head might explode.

Here you go:

 

[PaulTheOriginal]

Do you guys allow gun play during your brewfests

As to gun play, Yeager insists on every man for himself.

 

[paulthenurse]

Ok. Penalties are done. Everyone can get back in the pool, but be nice while you eviscerate each other