The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Psylocide]

Dear Busch Light,

Don't worry... I still love you.

Sincerely,

Two down. 28 to go.

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Southlern Tlier IPA,

I lourve you,

Sincererely,
TheCLADJlockley

 

[drainbamage]

Dear newlywed home-buyers,

When you're having a home inspection done, leave the extended family at home. No doubt Grandma and Grandpa (and aunts...and cousins) are super pumped about your new digs, but they'll have plenty of time to visit once you've closed.

Sincerely,
You didn't even bring beer to this family reunion

 

[Zepth]

Dear Keezer,
I purchased all required upgrade parts to have you dispense without those crappy picnic faucets inside. Please build yourself now. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Only wanting the end result.

 

[Renegades_Brew]

Dear dance company renting the facility tonight...

When you say you expect that you'll be done by 7:30pm that does not mean 8:30, does not mean 9:00, 9:30, or the 10:00pm that you finally walked out at...

Sincerely,
I have an hour drive and have to be up at 4:30am to be back here for my normal job by 5:45am...

 

[SupervisingChildren]

Dear Southlern Tlier IPA,

I lourve you,

Sincererely,
TheCLADJlockley

Dear TheCLADJlockley,
I enjoyed several of those last night as well.
Sincerely,
Work sucked balls today being hungover

 

[smizak]

Dear Buffalo,

Thank you for a beer tasting at every store I stopped at today while grocery shopping. Your local brewery tasting rooms are also very generous, makes shopping so much more tolerable!

Sincerely,

Weekend shopping-phobic.

PS

Dear Southlern Tlier IPA,

I lourve you,

Sincererely,
TheCLADJlockley

Dear TheCLADJlockley,
I enjoyed several of those last night as well.
Sincerely,
Work sucked balls today being hungover

A bottle of Krampus is great while vacuuming one's house!

 

[Beernik]

Dear Hot Topic,

Your shipping delays are killing me. Good thing my kid has a January birthday or Santa would be leaving an IOU under the tree.

Sincerely,
Xmas Drama

--------

Dear Red Neck Neighbor,

You don't leave a rotting deer skull in the front yard.

Sincerely,
Code Monkey Calling Neighbor Missed This One

 

[Zepth]

Dear picnic faucet,

Peace out.

Sincerely,
Front mounted 4 X Perlick 630SS

 

[Dopeybrew]

Dear 18 wheeler driver,

Thank you for plowing into my car and putting me into the hospital for a bit. The knee surgery didnt hurt too bad its the lack of beer in here that hurts the most.

sincerely,
I needed a break but not this bad.

 

[Inkleg]

Dear needed a break,

Ouch, glad you're on the mend.

Sincerely,
HBT

 

[Beernik]

Dear Office,

My New Year's Resolution is to spend 3 out of 5 days out of the office. My current calendaring has me at 1.3 out of 5. I can easily add a day to that when I start scheduling inspections. The other 0.7 will have to come from the conferences you keep volunteering me to speak at.

Sincerely,
It's still not me, it's you.

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear it's not me,
Did we complain?
Sincerely,
Good luck getting your expenses approved.

 

[Beernik]

Dear HR,

Not only are expenses covered but when you made per diem taxable, it became included in my salary-pension calculation.

Sincerely,
Double Dipping

 

[azscoob]

Dear world who has lost touch with morals and integrity...

My name is not my own,
It is borrowed from my ancestors,
I must return it unstained.

My honor is not my own,
It is on loan from my descendants,
I must give it to them unbroken.

Our blood is not our own,
It is a gift to generations yet unborn,
We should carry it with responsibility.

This land is not our own,
It is a gift from the creator,
We should return it unsoiled.

Sincerely, a man with values.

 

[GilSwillBasementBrews]

Dear world who has lost touch with morals and integrity...

My name is not my own,
It is borrowed from my ancestors,
I must return it unstained.

My honor is not my own,
It is on loan from my descendants,
I must give it to them unbroken.

Our blood is not our own,
It is a gift to generations yet unborn,
We should carry it with responsibility.

This land is not our own,
It is a gift from the creator,
We should return it unsoiled.

Sincerely, a man with values.

Dear man with Values.
Well said but I believe this belongs in the life quotes thread.
Sincerely,
Someone else who was wondering if morals/values were just a thing of the past.

 

[biochemedic]

Dear HR,

Not only are expenses covered but when you made per diem taxable, it became included in my salary-pension calculation.

Sincerely,
Double Dipping

Dear Double Dipping,

My per diem is still pre tax...I'll take it this way since I'm already maxing out pension!

Sincerely,
Glad it's working out for you another way!

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Whatever-God-Reads-HBT,

Please help me make it through this week without murdering everyone with my t-square.

Sincerely (amen?),
Suddenly Religious

 

[doug293cz]

Dear Suddenly Religious,

"T-square?" Is that a wall decoration? Got rid of mine when I got electrons. So much easier to erase!

Sincerely,
No more boss/co-worker annoyances (retired)

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Retired,

I exist as a reminder of where he started and what he truly loved doing; that which he no longer gets to do now. I also serve as a deterrent when people come and annoy him while he's working.

Sincerely,
*Bloodstained T-Square of Engineer Slaying*
+10 dmg. vs. humanoids with pocket protectors
+2 strength
-5 dexterity
Arch. Vision: Allows user to see through BS.

 

[sfrisby]

Dear self absorbed society,

I am sick and tired of all the holiday commercials that are marketed towards people buying THEMSELVES holiday gifts. Enough!

Sincerely,

A guy who's not religious but gets it better than most of the God fearing people

 

[ubnserved]

Dear 18 wheeler driver,

Thank you for plowing into my car and putting me into the hospital for a bit. The knee surgery didnt hurt too bad its the lack of beer in here that hurts the most.

sincerely,
I needed a break but not this bad.

Dear,
The wrong kind of break
I feel your pain, I have been laid up since June and just got to brew for the first time last week or the week before. It has really made me appreciate the life, liberty and the pursuit of good beer, none of which I have had since June. Although I will finally have beer in a few days or so. Hopefully it is good. The life and liberty consist of getting out a couple of times a week for physical therapy and maybe a walk through a store.
What makes the whole thing suck is that it was someone else's fault in my case also.
Hope the break gets better.
Sincerely,
So tired of the break

 

[jhoneycutt]

Dear jacka** in the ford truck

I was attempting to quit smoking until you ran the red light and nearly plowed through me. Put the phone down and pay attention to your surroundings or next time You won't be so lucky.


Sincerely,
A soon to be non smoker again

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Dear North Korea:
SUCK IT!
Sincerely, a citizen of The United States Of America.

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Vodka,

Why couldn't you wait until Friday? Thursday night is a horribly irresponsible night to decide to party. The light... it hurts..

Sincerely,
Sleeping Under the Desk

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear drivers with the Christian fish decal on your minivans and SUVs,
If the way you're driving and parking this Christmas season is the way you live out your faith, it's YOU who has taken the Christ out of Christmas.
Sincerely,
If you cut me off in traffic or steal the spot I'm waiting for with my signal on, you do not inspire me with your decal

 

[TXCrash]

Dear drivers with the Christian fish decal on your minivans and SUVs,
If the way you're driving and parking this Christmas season is the way you live out your faith, it's YOU who has taken the Christ out of Christmas.
Sincerely,
If you cut me off in traffic or steal the spot I'm waiting for with my signal on, you do not inspire me with your decal

Dear unparked,
Big truck, tow chain, busy road.

Sincerely,
It'd be worth it, maybe.

 

[azscoob]

Dear drivers with the Christian fish decal on your minivans and SUVs,
If the way you're driving and parking this Christmas season is the way you live out your faith, it's YOU who has taken the Christ out of Christmas.
Sincerely,
If you cut me off in traffic or steal the spot I'm waiting for with my signal on, you do not inspire me with your decal

Dear Jesus fish drivers,

I have to agree with the above quote, today because of one of you I was forced to use the lords name in vain several times along with a few more phrases that would make a trucker blush....

And a second thought, the speed limit on the main road is 45MPH, not foot on the brake creeping at 15MPH. And conversely, the speed limit in the parking lot we were just in is NOT 45MPH, I think you have your speed limits backwards.

Sincerely,
I think I just had an aneurism while trying to drive home.

 

[Beernik]

Dear Driver With Annurism,

I experienced the same thing two days ago. Yesterday there were two seperate accidents around the same shopping plaza.

Sincerely,
Feeling Your Pain

--------

Dear Jacket Company SWMBO Ordered From,

Utah and Ukraine are close alphabetically but geographically distant.

Sincerely,
Brother-In-Law's Jacket Is Visiting Ukraine for Christmas

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Dear Peanuts,

I love you. Please be gentle with my rectum on your way out.

Sincerely,
Dances With Hemorrhoids

 

[Psylocide]

Dear Wife,

Thanks for making me run an errand to Walmart tonight, at 4:45, the day before Christmas Eve. You know I hate Walmart. You know I hate people.

I hate you.

Sincerely.

 

[Melana]

Dear Christmas Day,

Please be wonderful for my family - they deserve it. And please please please pass by with limited added grey hair for me.

Sincerely,
Totally stressed holiday host. It's my first time, please be gentle.

 

[TXCrash]

Dear please be gentle,
I thought you liked it rough.

Sincerely,
Christmas

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Dear DrunkleJon: Thank you so much for the gift HBT membership! This will be the most used & most appreciated gift I've gotten in a long time.
Regards, GF.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear DrunkleJon: Thank you so much for the gift HBT membership! This will be the most used & most appreciated gift I've gotten in a long time.
Regards, GF.

Dear gratus fermentatio,
You are welcome, enjoy! Now don't get lost in the areas that we aren't supposed to talk about. Some never return.
Sincerely,
DrunkleJon

Dear jerk-holes on the roads,
Remember that we all have family to see tonight, when I leave work in an hour please drive sensibly and lets all get where we are going without accident, incident or severe traffic.
Sincerely,
Someone who doesnt want to deal with the holiday rush hours

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear HBT,

Merry Xmas and what not. If you see Krampus, tell him I want my $50.

Sincerely,
CADdy

 

[Zepth]

Dear retail location,
Thank you. I came in to purchase a growler and after chatting a bit you sent me on my way with "It's on the house. Merry Christmas."
You're the best.
Sincerely,
Very satisfied customer.

 

[TXCrash]

Dear craigslister who I presumed was flaking and moved to the next,
Nope, I didnt let you down. Someone else had cash and could come, and I hadn't heard from you.
Sincerely,
Cash talks.

 

[Komocabo]

Dear TXCrash,

Why can't you get me admin privilege to the boneyard?

Sincerely,
Oh, you're not the admin

 

[TXCrash]

Dear TXCrash,

Why can't you get me admin privilege to the boneyard?

Sincerely,
Oh, you're not the admin

Dear komocabo,
As stated in the other thread, while I can't get you access to the boneyard, I can disappoint your wife for free.

Sincerely,
Disappointing the best I can.