The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Zepth]

Dear Billy Mays,

I won...

Sincerely,

Cocaine


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

Too soon.

Dear coffee,
I missed you today, I'll not skip you tomorrow.

Sincerely,
**** my dentist and his whitening trays. Coffee is better than white teeth anyways.

Wasn't it Abe Lincoln who said "Judge not by the color of the teeth"?

Dear work,
You suck.
Sincerely,
Awaiting retirement (30 years)

Dear underhopped hefe
You ain't so bad
Sincerely
Too wrecked to care

 

[binabik]

Dear Awaiting retirement,

It's not all its cracked up to be. Getting up 3 times a night to pee,
not remembering what an erection is and worst of all not caring.

Sincerely,
I want my youth back

 

[Dopeybrew]

Dear Beer,

Please keep me from choking the **** out of moronic parents and their smart mouth kid.

Sincerely,
Teacher who needs help

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear cancer,
You suck! Leave my cousins kid alone.
F You
Me

 

[SupervisingChildren]

Dear I want my youth back,
There's pills for for each of those problems. Go see a doctor.
Sincerely,
Big Pharma

 

[Zepth]

Dear cancer,
You suck! Leave my cousins kid alone.
F You
Me

I recently lost someone who was like a second father to me to cancer. You aren't alone.

 

[jbaysurfer]

Dear Underhopped Hefe:

You are an oxymoron.

Sincerely,
BJCP Style Guidelines

 

[singybrue]

Dear Fart,

When I said you could come out play, I meant just you, not you and your....friend.

Sincerely,
Gambled and lost

Dear Gambled and lost,

Never trust a fart.

Sincerely,
A fart

 

[Natdavis777]

Dear underhopped Hefe,

I'm the king of "too soon"!

Sincerely

Habitual Line-crosser




Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[beavers]

Dear Kentucky Legislators,

Why can't you take a cue from the fine folks in Colorado and Washington? Or the dozens of other states that are almost as brave as those two.

Sincerely,
Kentucky resident with...erm, back pain. Yyyyeah, that's it, back pain. And glaucoma.

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear Kentucky resident,

Fine and brave though we may be, you're probably paying less for your "medication" than we are for our recreation.

Sincerely,
Washington resident

 

[drainbamage]

Dear Kentucky Resident,

We can't even get booze legalized in all our counties. Baby steps.

Sincerely,
Wet counties are the best counties

 

[Beernik]

Dear Mimi's Cafe,

Tomato basil soup and marinara sauce are not the same thing.

Sincerely,

Customer Who Ordered Tomato Soup

 

[coldcrash]

Dear Eagle Rare Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey,

http://youtu.be/Z6xfpLqn5IM

Sincerely,
You Know

 

[cannman]

Dear Mimi's Cafe,

Tomato basil soup and marinara sauce are not the same thing.

Sincerely,

Customer Who Ordered Tomato Soup

Dear customer who ordered tomato soup,

Uh...We don't have tomato soup on our menu.

Sincerely,

Mimi's Cafe

 

[Fedora]

Dear Drunk People,

I like to tie one on as much as the next guy. More than most really. But I am so fvcking tried of dealing with the ignorant, unreasonable behavior that you continue to display on a regular basis. Control yourself and get a grip on reality or get the f..k out of my life.

Sincerely,

Done With This S..t

 

[number40fan]

Dear, Drunk Neighbor Knocking On My Door.

It is only noon!

Sincerely,
Why didn't you let me know we were starting so soon.

 

[Natdavis777]

Dear people,

The vehicle you come to the ED in is called and ambulance, pronounce "am·bu·lance", not "amma·lans"

Sincerely,

Guy who just wants to bitch (but seriously though)


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[number40fan]

Nvm.

 

[Komocabo]

Dear ED.

You should see a neurologist in the ER.

Sincerely,
Autocorrect

 

[Natdavis777]

Dear autocorrect,

It's an Emergency Department (ED), made up of many rooms. Pardon the misused nomenclature.

Sincerely,

Auto-autocorrect


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear people,

The vehicle you come to the ED in is called and ambulance, pronounce "am·bu·lance", not "amma·lans"

Sincerely,

Guy who just wants to bitch (but seriously though)


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

Oh come on its gotta be said

Dear ED,
I hear they make a pill for that
Sincerely,
Pfeizer

 

[TXCrash]

Dear that guy,

Dear society,
I'm keenly aware that I'm an *******, so I'll continue doing that. At least I'm not a fast lane sotter.

Sincerely,
That guy

 

[hunter_le five]

Nvm.

Dear number40fan,

Good one.

Sincerely,

sarcasthole

 

[mdbrewer1]

Dear that guy,

Something isn't quite right there. Those clowns never use their blinker. Plus, they are almost always holding up a line of cars behind them.

Dear that guy,

Just admit defeat, go straight and then figure out how to get back to where you were headed. Your time isn't any more valuable than those you end up holding up or who you end up cutting in front of.

Sincerely,

Driver who pays attention

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear Local Convenience Store,

it would be great if you could have giant eclairs on hand.

Sincerely,
I Want a Giant Eclair

 

[brew_ny]

Dear I Want a Giant Éclair

we have them wrapped in bacon then deep fried

stop by

Sincerely

Piggly Wiggly

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear I Want a Giant Éclair

we have them wrapped in bacon then deep fried

stop by

Sincerely

Piggly Wiggly

Dear Piggly Wiggly,

Prepare to be decimated.

Sincerely,
It's On

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear I Want a Giant Eclair,

Heidelberg Pastry Shoppe
2150 N. Culpeper Street
Arlington, VA 22207

It's worth a trip, and you will thank me.

Sincerely,
Now I want a giant eclair too

 

[jhoneycutt]

Dear giant eclair

Dont you dare tell my wife those exist

Sincerely
I'll hunt you down.