The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[seatazzz]

Dear good doggos over golf,

I have heard that there's an argument to be made that golf courses provide some good because it provides green space in urban areas.

I have my doubts that the perfectly manicured green space overcomes all the resources that we put into keeping it perfectly manicured, but 1) this isn't Debate so I probably shouldn't get into any more detail, and 2) I don't like golf, so I'd rather see those areas become proper parks with trees, wildflowers, and with publicly accessible kayak/canoe launches on the water hazards, and biking/hiking paths around the perimeter.

Sincerely,
Wannabe Outdoorsman

Dear Wannabe,

Also enclosed dog parks.

Sincerely, the closest one to us that's worth a darn is a 30 minute drive with overexcited big dogs in the back seat. But worth it.

 

[Kent88]

We don't deserve dogs

 

[Kent88]

Dear tick I found on my stomach after my shower this evening,

I hope you enjoyed your trip down the toilet. I'm not even going to pretend that I felt bad as I noticed your legs flailing in the water. Thank goodness I found you before you embedded yourself.

Sincerely,
I shouldn't have Lyme, but still have bad case of the jibblies. jibblies... jibblies...

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Jibblies etc.,

Light the toilet on fire.

Sincerely, never seen a tick but now I have the jibblies.

 

[Kee]

Dear Wannabe,

Also enclosed dog parks.

Sincerely, the closest one to us that's worth a darn is a 30 minute drive with overexcited big dogs in the back seat. But worth it.

One of the regulars in our golf group brings his two dogs everytime he plays. Another brings his one dog. So, it's essentially a dog park where you can also play golf.

 

[seatazzz]

Sorry for the downer post ahead.

Dear Large Company I work for,

Thanks for all the help yesterday during an extremely horrible experience for both myself and my driver in Spokane, mostly the driver. He was driving his loaded trailer on a busy road yesterday early morning about 2am, passed two young men on an electric scooter on the sidewalk (the razer kind) when one of them lost his balance and fell into the roadway under the trailer, and unalived himself. My driver immediately stopped and tried to render CPR and aid, but was unsuccessful. Long story short, but within the hour the company had contacted everyone needed on our side including legal (police confirmed it was not my driver's fault). Everyone he and I talked to were supportive and helpful, except for the 800 number I had to call for the post-accident UA; they're not in this country and it was like talking through a hollow log to customer service. My driver is shaken but okay, and the company is even going to pay him during the investigation since he can't drive until the police finish on Monday. My immediate boss has called both of us a couple of times just to make sure we're okay mentally. In 18 years doing this job this has never happened to me, and it's a very scary experience to get that call.

I say some kinda not-nice things about this company on occasion, and I know that their prime concern is covering their butts; but they did a darned good job (so far) of handling it so he and I can focus on getting past it. I'm exhausted today, but glad for the fact that I've been told I did everything I was supposed to do, and nothing I wasn't.

Small PSA: Many people see semi trucks as large slow street-blocking/traffic slowing annoyances, but please remember that these guys and gals are in control of 80,000lbs (or more) of unalivement on a daily basis. Nobody wins a fight with a semi.

Sincerely, shaken and stirred but glad my driver is okay.

 

[Kent88]

Dear serious poster,

That sounds awful.

Please pass along this recommendation to the driver, if possible: find a professional to talk to about this.

My spouse and her management team had an incident where a guy keeled over at work and couldn't be revived despite my wife, a couple coworkers, and eventually first responders all trying to help. I don't know whether it was her company, or someone who was sent by first responders, or what, but a professional came in and talked to whoever needed them, and I'm told it helped a lot.

Sincerely,
I hope I never see my wife like that again


P.S. while in your case it might not be as relevant in your case, it might also be a good time to schedule first aid training.

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Kent88,

We do have an employee assistance program that includes mental health counseling. I provided the information to my driver, however he's a bit of an old school truck driver (some of his cab videos would make your ears burn) and may not avail himself of it. The old you can lead a horse to water thing. I have a good rapport with him most of the time but he's been talking mostly with our manager, who seems to be helping a bit more than I could.

We got 'the talk' today where I found that I may eventually be called to court; scary thought. We'll get through it but I'm not looking forward to that part.

Sincerely, I really appreciate your concern in all things sir!

 

[Snuffy]

Maybe the remark is not original, but a Cajun I worked with (who didn't learn English until he started to school, so imagine that accent) put it this way:
"Oh no, that golf, that's not a game for me. You got to try and hit the ball a long ways, then you got to go and try to find the ball. Then go got to try and hit the ball a long way again! Oh no."

Overheard on a jobsite in Lafayette, La. Electrician was on a ladder hanging prisms on a chandelier in a ballroom. Cajun job foreman walks up and says,
"Yo, bruddah, won't you un-clumb dat ladda and come over heah so's I can tolt you sumptin".

 

[seatazzz]

Here's a couple.

Dear Wonderful Husband,

Thank you for knowing exactly what would make our 20th wedding anniversary (coming up this next Wednesday) absolutely epic. Today we are heading to T Mobile Park to see the Ichiro Suzuki Number 51 Retirement ceremony, and it will be an amazing day. Get to see my two best girlfriends (aka Baseball Aunties) and spend the afternoon/evening with you, doing what we've done ever since we started dating back in 2001; enjoying ourselves watching a sport, and a Team, that we unashamedly love. Also getting our out-of-town friends to sell us their Terrace Club seats so we don't have to wait in superhuge lines for beer!

Sincerely, your ever loving and grateful wife

And:

Honorable Ichiro-san (yes I know that's redundant but I don't care),

Thank you for your years as a Mariner, and for everything you have done for this great sport. Yes, you eventually went to the Yankmes, and then Florida, but your decision to retire as a Mariner, where you got your American start, has forever endeared you in the hearts of all Mariner fans. Today I will get to see your plaque that will be enshrined in Cooperstown, and listen to your speech; which I am sure will be just as wonderful as your HOF induction speech. Your dedication, humor, and love for this game is phenomenal.

Sincerely, just a grateful fan.

 

[Mr. Vern]

Dear Talent Acquisition Manager and Sales Director,

Do not forget to respect your elders. Especially ones who are spending a couple days practicing interview questions after nearly a quarter-century of being at the same comfortable job.

Sincerely,

Your elder and dedicated interviewee, who believes he is finally starting to get old.
(I think its in the bag, but you can never be too comfortable with these things)

 

[Kent88]

Dear Snapchat algorithm people,

I have been careful not to click on anything related to pimple popping or other things involving large amounts of pus, or any type of larvae infesting the skin, or any type of skin infections, or the like.

I've blocked several channels that seem to specialize in that content.

Knock it off with the recent recommendations for that stuff. I've been around for the occasional popping of a large abscess on a bovine, and I'm pretty indifferent to that sort of thing, but lately you're testing my fortitude and I don't freaking like it.

Your algorithm is busted.

Sincerely,
Starting to get grossed out

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Dear moving:
I HATE YOU.
Sincerely,
Lease was up so good bye office. You served me well.