The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[skeaterbait]

Dear Skeaterbait,
There are usually at least TWO lanes in each direction. If you choose to go slower than I wish to go, GTF out of my way and into the "slow" lane. At least in Georgia, that's the LAW!

Signed,
Leadfoot

Yep it's the law here too. But since you really want to play that game. Driving over the speed limit is breaking the law, tailgating is breaking the law and aggressive driving is breaking the law.

3 to 1, I win.

I answer to GTFO... NOPE. I am a very courteous driver and do drive in the right lane, but on the chance that I am passing someone else (which at that point makes them the slower traffic) and some bozo behind me is upset because he/she is not getting their way and tries to bully me in to moving, they will meat with resistance. I pay my taxes the same as everyone else and I have a right to drive on the highways that I help pay for, without being harassed by someone who feels I need to cater to them.

 

[soccerdad]

Dear Urban Guys (and girls)

Y'all should move to the country - this road rage stuff is gonna give you a heart attack.

Sincerely, Rural Brewer

 

[Komocabo]

Dear rural brewer,

You are correct. If there are more than 3 cars on my country road, it's a busy day. I just sip my coffee and drive as fast or as a slow as I see fit for the commute. Its nice to gaze in the distance at the sunrise, and pastures. I love the Willamette Valley!

Sincerely,
Relaxed, on time, and not a d!ck on the road

 

[Newsman]

Dear Skeaterbait --
I have no problem with you using the left lane as a passing lane. What bugs the cr@p out of me is when people STAY in the left lane.
Sincerely,
Leadfoot

PS... I come by it honestly ... I used to be a TV news videographer and old habits die VERY hard.

 

[skeaterbait]

Dear Skeaterbait --
I have no problem with you using the left lane as a passing lane. What bugs the cr@p out of me is when people STAY in the left lane.
Sincerely,
Leadfoot

PS... I come by it honestly ... I used to be a TV news videographer and old habits die VERY hard.

Agreed.

 

[2drunk2]

Dear LHBS,

Thanks for having a sale on zythos hops. I didn't want to use the Tettnang hops this recipe called for anyway.

Sincerely,

The guy who hasn't stuck the recipe once

 

[adiochiro3]

Dear Tailgater,

I am driving the MAXIMUM posted speed limit but am not required too. If you tailgate me I will drive slower and NOT get out of your way until you back off.

Sincerely
I allow myself plenty of time to get to work.

Dear "I allow myself plenty of time to get to work,"

This is a great way to get yourself hurt or killed. "God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy." It isn't worth the risk; I prefer to get out of the way and remove myself from the immediate and inevitable danger. And I usually pray they only hurt themselves in the impending wreck.

Sincerely,

With Age Comes a Certain Perspective

PS: I do have a fantasy of slapping such idiot drivers before rendering assistance once they have caused the inevitable wreck...

 

[adiochiro3]

Dear Wonderful Family,

Thank you so much for the birthday present that will keep on giving for a long time to come!

Sincerely,

A Brewer Who Loves Big Beers

 

[Newsman]

Dear suburban farmers,
I'm sorry the suburbs have grown up around your farm, but could you PLEASE stop driving your farm equipment on the main roads?
Sincerely,
Suburban driver

 

[Melana]

Dear A Brewer Who Loves Big Beers,

Is your family adopting?

Sincerely,
This girl with cask envy

 

[elkshadow]

Dear people who are arguing about how to drive,

I made no mention of freeways or passing lanes in my OP about rush hour traffic. I will continue to drive as slow or fast as I want regardless of how angry it makes aggressive drivers. Again, when it is bumper to bumper at 4:00 what do you gain by riding my ass except unneeded stress? Whatever you're racing home to will be there when you get there. If you don't see that, no amount of education, persuasion or open mindedness is going to help. I was almost killed by a drunk driver and I have a permanently stiff neck because of it. So I take ****ty driving a little more seriously than most I guess. I'm slightly tense every time I drive and aggressive driving really ratchets up the anxiety for me. So again, chill the eff out. Using the power of math, it can be discovered that you are not getting there faster and you are making it unsafe for the rest of us. And for what? Because "HUR DUR GET OUT OF MY WAY?!?!?"

Sincerely,

Nobody likes the way anybody else drives

 

[Zepth]

Tired of ranting about the "fast" lane eh?

Dear person who tries to turn right on a red light,
You don't have the right of way. I have an advance green. It doesn't matter where the hell I am, I've got the right of way.
Sincerely, guy changing the subject

 

[Hamaki]

Dear suburban farmers,
I'm sorry the suburbs have grown up around your farm, but could you PLEASE stop driving your farm equipment on the main roads?
Sincerely,
Suburban driver

Dear Suburban driver,

No.

Can you please stop providing a market for developers that contribute to urban sprawl and encroachment on arable land? If not, then can you at least not complain about the realities of living in this kind of development?

Sincerely,

John Deere

 

[Newsman]

Dear Suburban driver,

No.

Can you please stop providing a market for developers that contribute to urban sprawl and encroachment on arable land? If not, then can you at least not complain about the realities of living in this kind of development?

Sincerely,

John Deere

Dear John Deere,
Will you please face the fact that not everyone wants to live cheek-by-jowel in the cities? Some of us want a little room to spread out. We also don't want to be stuck behind a farm tractor driving 5 miles to the next field at 5 miles per hour.
Please... go find some other land farther from the main population and sell your lovely farm land to some greedy developer for twice what your new farm land will cost.
Sincerely,
Suburban driver

 

[TheCADJockey]

This thread is broken.

 

[Stealthcruiser]

Dear John Deere,
Will you please face the fact that not everyone wants to live cheek-by-jowel in the cities? Some of us want a little room to spread out. We also don't want to be stuck behind a farm tractor driving 5 miles to the next field at 5 miles per hour.
Please... go find some other land farther from the main population and sell your lovely farm land to some greedy developer for twice what your new farm land will cost.
Sincerely,
Suburban driver

"Jowl"............

 

[motobrewer]

Dear John Deere,
Will you please face the fact that not everyone wants to live cheek-by-jowel in the cities? Some of us want a little room to spread out. We also don't want to be stuck behind a farm tractor driving 5 miles to the next field at 5 miles per hour.
Please... go find some other land farther from the main population and sell your lovely farm land to some greedy developer for twice what your new farm land will cost.
Sincerely,
Suburban driver

wow.

 

[DisturbdChemist]

Dear Newsman,

The farmer was far away from your city. The city came to them. So, yall to blame. If you want fresh food and meat, you better relax and thank them and go around the equipment.

Your kindest country friend,
Food on your plate

 

[Hamaki]

Dear John Deere,
Will you please face the fact that not everyone wants to live cheek-by-jowel in the cities? Some of us want a little room to spread out. We also don't want to be stuck behind a farm tractor driving 5 miles to the next field at 5 miles per hour.
Please... go find some other land farther from the main population and sell your lovely farm land to some greedy developer for twice what your new farm land will cost.
Sincerely,
Suburban driver

Dear Suburban driver,

Why should I sell out? I'm not unhappy about the traffic thing and doing so would only further the problem. All I'm saying is don't buy a home next to an airport and then complain about the noise.

And I mean that Sincerely,

John Deere

 

[ktblunden]

Dear 95% of the people posting in this thread,

This thread used to be fun. Passive aggressive b!tching back and forth is not fun. This thread is no longer fun. Take it to PMs or go post your diatribes on Youtube comments so this thread can be fun again.

Sincerely,
People who used to think this thread was fun

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear 95% of the people posting in this thread,

This thread used to be fun. Passive aggressive b!tching back and forth is not fun. This thread is no longer fun. Take it to PMs or go post your diatribes on Youtube comments so this thread can be fun again.

Sincerely,
People who used to think this thread was fun

Dear People who used to think this thread was fun,

Apparently you are unfamiliar with the internet.

Sincerely,
The internet

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear co-worker that dropped her brand new iPhone 6 in the electropolishing sink,

Sincerely,
Everyone who was tired of seeing pictures of your dumb lookin' kids.

 

[ktblunden]

Dear People who used to think this thread was fun,

Apparently you are unfamiliar with the internet.

Sincerely,
The internet

Dear the internet,

I am well aware of your work. That's why I directed them to the repository of awfulness.

Sincerely,
Seriously, you will not find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than Youtube comments

 

[hunter_le five]

Dear 95% of the people posting in this thread,

This thread used to be fun. Passive aggressive b!tching back and forth is not fun. This thread is no longer fun. Take it to PMs or go post your diatribes on Youtube comments so this thread can be fun again.

Sincerely,
People who used to think this thread was fun

Given the direction this thread has gone, I propose a new format/title: The "grumble grumble" , "mumble grumble" thread. Observe:

grumble grumble.... you people with your sportsketballs and your road rages... mumble grumble... *spits*

.

Though by definition that may be more appropriate for the Drunken Ramblings and Mindless Mumblings forum.

 

[number40fan]

Dear women's breasts,

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Left hand, right hand and mouth.

 

[Qhrumphf]

Given the direction this thread has gone, I propose a new format/title: The "grumble grumble" , "mumble grumble" thread. Observe:

.

Though by definition that may be more appropriate for the Drunken Ramblings and Mindless Mumblings forum.

Dear Mumble Grumble,

Mumble grumble grumble grumble mumble mumble grumble.

Sincerely,
Grumble Mumble.

In all seriousness, I don't know this thread hasn't been moved to DR&MM.

 

[DisturbdChemist]

Dear people who take people opinion on the internet seriously.

Relax

From Internet with love

 

[UWDawg13]

Dear Seattle Area Craigslisters,

Why don't a couple of you give up on your home brewing and post all your goodies on CL for stupid low prices?

Sincerely,

Tired of limited offerings on Seattle CL

 

[Dopeybrew]

Deer beer,

Please make the pissy-ness go away from the people ruining a funny thread.

sincerely,
Guy who likes to laugh at dumb stuff

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear Seattle Area Craigslisters,

Why don't a couple of you give up on your home brewing and post all your goodies on CL for stupid low prices?

Sincerely,

Tired of limited offerings on Seattle CL

Dear Seattle area Craigslist shoppers,
Please stop asking if an item is still available, then not bothering to follow up when I say it is.
Sincerely,
A home brewer who isn't giving up on the hobby but is trying to clean up his brewing space

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Punch-Clock,

Why you no say 4:30 yet!?

Sincerely,
Guy who wants to go home and drink until he can't feel feelings.

 

[DisturbdChemist]

Dear HBT,

Ya'll want to make me drink during work. Wish I could

From your drunk buddy,
A functioning alcoholic

 

[b-boy]

Dear The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread,

This thread is supposed to be about fun things like annoying children, stupid people, boobs, and boogers. It's veering off into dangersous territory like urban sprawl and traffic congestion. Yech!

Can't we get this thing back on track? Bring on the boobs.

Sincerely,

HBTers with nothing better to do than read these goofy threads

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Dear b-boy,

(.Y.)

Sincerely,
You're welcome.

 

[DisturbdChemist]

Dear b-boy,

(.Y.)

Sincerely,
You're welcome.

Dear cheesy,

You mean

( < ) ( < )


Sincerly,
Its nipply out

 

[Roughster]

Dear:

I'm going to make sweet love to you tonight!

Sincerely, thirsty beer drinker who just got off of work on Friday


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear:View attachment 226110

I'm going to make sweet love to you tonight!

Sincerely, thirsty beer drinker who just got off of work on Friday


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

Dear thirsty beer drinker,

I don't care how thirsty you are, necrophilia is sick. I'm pretty sure even if you WERE enough of a pervert to rape a 2000 year old corpse, there wouldn't be a corpse left. Stick to boobs like the rest of us.

Sincerely,
Your snarky neighborhood armchair anthropologist.

 

[Roughster]

Dear Snarky Armchair Anthropologist,

I was thinking more American Pliny the Elder Pie, but I am open to new experiences if you have a 2000 year old corpse lying around

Sincerely, Balls Deep into Pliny


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[Komocabo]

Dear thread,

Thank you for getting back on track.

Sincerely,
Guy who loves beer, boobs, and giggles. In that order

 

[IJesusChrist]

Dear HopHead,

Stop lying.

Sincerely,
Honesty