The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

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DrunkleJon said:
That, or her previous boyfriends were the below type.




Dear 4 day workweek,

Why cant you be 3 days instead? I have some nipples to lick.

Sincerely,
3 more days to go.
Click to expand...

Dear 3 day
You forgot to have her make you a grilled cheese sandwich! :ban:
Sincerely craving the grilled cheese!
 
Billy-Klubb said:
Dear Alchy's,

Wahkasii!! (that's a karate chop to the taint)

Sincerely,
I Just Hit My Own Taint
Click to expand...

Dear taint chopper

It is better to chop a taint Than get these in it! Maybe you should stick to punching berries.

Sincerely Kevlar protection needed

20140621_090301.jpg
 
Dear Ford,

I spent extra to have the GPS on my vehicle. F*c! You and your $149 map upgrade. My Google map upgrades for free...

Sincerely,
Never Going To Get The Built-in GPS Again
 
ubnserved said:
Dear 3 day
You forgot to have her make you a grilled cheese sandwich! :ban:
Sincerely craving the grilled cheese!
Click to expand...

Dear craving the grilled cheese!,

You and me both, two months dating and no grilled cheese. (Un)luckily, she broke up with me yesterday after I took her to a football game so the point is moot.

Sincerely,
Without any grilled cheese
 
DrunkleJon said:
Dear craving the grilled cheese!,

You and me both, two months dating and no grilled cheese. (Un)luckily, she broke up with me yesterday after I took her to a football game so the point is moot.

Sincerely,
Without any grilled cheese
Click to expand...

Dear Drunkle,
It's been 14 months for me, so suck it up.

Wait, that's not what I meant.

Sincerely,
Doing the "right" thing while getting divorced sucks. First lady will have unrealistic expectations set that night... and will probably be stuck to the wall or ceiling.
 
Dear Monday,
You suck, in the bad way. Why can't you still be the weekend.

Sincerely,
I wanted to sleep in this morning.
 
Dear co-workers *

Stop trying to be a problem solver.

Sincerely,
Problem preventer

*seems the annoying coworker thread might be obsolete. Don't do it.
 
Zepth said:
Dear co-workers *

Stop trying to be a problem solver.

Sincerely,
Problem preventer

*seems the annoying coworker thread might be obsolete. Don't do it.
Click to expand...

Dear Problem preventer,

You must be new. Haven't you figured out yet that you get zero credit for preventing problems? To get ahead you need to let the problems grow and fester, and then solve them. If you avoid problems, whatever you were working on was easy. If there are lots of problems to be solved, then that's hard work and needs to be rewarded (unless they pin the problems on you.)

Sincerely,
Another slow learner
 
Zepth said:
Dear co-workers *

Stop trying to be a problem solver.

Sincerely,
Problem preventer

*seems the annoying coworker thread might be obsolete. Don't do it.
Click to expand...

doug293cz said:
Dear Problem preventer,

You must be new. Haven't you figured out yet that you get zero credit for preventing problems? To get ahead you need to let the problems grow and fester, and then solve them. If you avoid problems, whatever you were working on was easy. If there are lots of problems to be solved, then that's hard work and needs to be rewarded (unless they pin the problems on you.)

Sincerely,
Another slow learner
Click to expand...

Dear Problem Preventer and Slow Learner,

I'm sorry. My bad. I didn't realize going #2 on the copier table and then trying to make 400 copies of it would ruin the machine.

Also, I'm sorry for setting every single rag, disinfectant, cleaning spray, paper towel, and any other cleaning source on fire in the elevator. I didn't mean to make you have to clean the copier with your shirt.

Didn't mean to cause you problems.

Also, the boss just said the elevator and copier will be out of service for the next 6 months, but didn't say why.

Sincerely,
Please don't fire me.
 
Dear Monday Haters,

I'm the only reason Tuesday and Wed are even bearable. You owe me.

Sincerely,

Monday Monday
 
Dear Monday Haters,

Due to my work schedule, Monday for me is Friday. Therefore my Friday night is your Monday morning.

All the best,

Society for Monday Tolerance
 
Dear slow learner,
In my line of work "problem" is directly correlated to "broken stuff" or "irreparable damage." Since there's often only one chance to get it done at all, "problems being solved" is synonymous with "crisis in progress."
Sincerely,
Master of the trade
 
cannman said:
Dear Monday Haters,

Due to my work schedule, Monday for me is Friday. Therefore my Friday night is your Monday morning.

All the best,

Society for Monday Tolerance
Click to expand...

Dear Society for Monday Tolerance,

That's way too confusing. My head hurts. you need to get a new job with normal hours.

Sincerely,

Too old to do the math.
 
biochemedic said:
Dear People With A Regular Schedule Who Can Call A Particular Day Of The Week "Monday" and "Friday,"

What's a regular schedule?

Sincerely,
Constantly Shifting Work Schedule
Click to expand...
Dear Constantly Shifting Work Schedule,

Minimum wage jobs should be temporary.

Sincerely, Those against the high minimum wage hikes.
 
PackerfaninSanDiego said:
Dear Constantly Shifting Work Schedule,

Minimum wage jobs should be temporary.

Sincerely, Those against the high minimum wage hikes.
Click to expand...

Dear Those Against The High Minimum Wage Hikes,

I would probably have a much more regular schedule in a minimum wage job...

Sincerely,
Constantly Shifting Work Schedule (And Fortunately Getting Paid Fairly Well For My Troubles...)
 
Dear people that assume odd hours = minimum wage job,

Huh? Where did that come from? You must be a Packers fan

Sincerely,
Work an odd shift and am paid way more than minimum wage
 
Dear people who are surprised that their 3 piece air lock will not hold back the krausen of a primary fermenter,

f54.gif


Sincerely,
Google It
 
Dear Reasonable People Everywhere,

You clearly forgot about other world ending events. Recall SARS? How about that recent Lysteria incident? Swine flu! All took out the whole world population. The time to panic is now!

Sincerely,
Inaccurate information.
 
Dear inaccurate information;

Stop spreading fear. Doesn't matter anyway, the world ended in 2012.

Sincerely,
Mayan expert
 
Dear Mayan Expert,

The end of the human race comes on August 29, 1997 when Skynet launched an army of T-800s.

Sincerely,

Duh!
 
Dear Mayan Expert,

Would you sign my "I survived the Mayan Apocalypse!" tee shirt I picked up at a doomsday rally?

Sincerely,
Doomsday Sucker
 
Dear Internet,

Please entertain me so I can stop stressing about my fast approaching wedding. Working overtime isn't helping.

Sincerely,
Strung-Out
 
Dear Strung-Out,

At the end of the day, you'll still be married. The rest is just planning a big party :ban:

Sincerely,
Been there
 
Dear Strung-Out,

I've been married 3 years now and I've never brewed more beer.

Sincerely,
The Best Is Yet To Come
 

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