SWMBO says....

[Hang Glider]

... if I can only drink that much and prove I'm not an AA, then she will back down

and therein lies the benefits of being in the relationship, over us "observers." In some eyes, this is still unreasonable, but I understand it and I'm glad it works for you.

I have a neighbor who's wife employs this strategy when he hits about 230 (he's 5'8") with the beer gut - "can you NOT drink?" Then he has to prove he's not an alcoholic - which in his case, is difficult for him -

 

[JetSmooth]

Had a similar thing with my wife, who used the "is it healthy for you to drink a beer every night?" tactic. I had a previous liver condition which had me stop drinking for four months (Didn't have to, just wanted to see if it would abate. It didn't and I went back to moderate drinking)

So I had a doctor's appointment and asked about it. My doc told me not only was it okay to have a beer every night, but TWO beers a day (for an adult male) was actually reccomended for heart health.

So now I make it a point to have two beers a night and specifically point out to her that it's for my own good.

 

[bmeyer46]

does she drink at all?

 

[JayD]

does she drink at all?

She does not.

 

[bmeyer46]

bummer....I was gonna say to include her in your homebrewing adventures, but that won't work...unless you can get her involved with making some artsy fartsy labels or something.

 

[Airborneguy]

Have you looked for counselors yet? If you don't, you must be enjoying something about my former life. I sure didn't and changed it as fast as I could. Thank god I got out of your situation.

(Sorry to be harsh, just trying to save someone else from what I experienced...)

 

[Brewdouche-RuBrew]

Jay, sounds like progress.

 

[jmendez29]

Way to stay the course, Jay. Now make sure she knows how much you appreciate her.

 

[Randar]

if she'd have just asked me to take it easy, hell even if she asked me to stop, I would have. but man I'd never been so pissed at her as when she decided she was going to mother me. she learned her lesson.

I've tried walking home 2 times. Neither ended well. I once made it 14 miles trying to walk home from a party... 27 miles from home... in Chicago... in December.

 

[BlackDogBrewing]

Nooooo, I'm on number four!

 

[WildGingerBrewing]

Hey Jay, how bout an update. Things getting better?

 

[JayD]

Yes, thinks are decidedly better. I seriously curtailed the beer for a while completely respecting the 1/1.5, and then (as discussed above) talked to her about it. At that time she said it wasn't a "hard fast" rule, and she just didn't want me drinking SO MUCH.

FF to now, I drink 3 or 4 beers a week no big deal (or, let me say, no talking from her about it [could be "yet"]).

I will say this too. One night last week I drank two Sierra nevada bigfoots... and the day I had the day after that has made me be in no special hurry to drink a bunch of beer anyway.

Sidenote, I drank the first bottle off my first batch of my first homebrew the other night. It was beer.

 

[WildGingerBrewing]

Awesome! Glad to hear it.

Too much to drink last night will defintely make me NOT want to drink tonight! And I had a pretty good bit o' beer last night! ugh

 

[Homercidal]

Mmmm.... Bigfoot! One is enough for me!

 

[JayD]

Mmmm.... Bigfoot! One is enough for me!

Trust me, it was enough for me too!

 

[EoinMag]

Only to much disagreement and me feeling like what I put my foot down about is stupid, and making me feel like an *******. She usually just replies that she "has changed so much for me" and stuff. And flips it on me -- kind of "what have you ever done for me."

I don't want to just sell her up the river...

This is what sets alarm bells off for me, that points scoring bull in a relationship is what will drive it against a wall. If she's keeping a list, you're fooked in the long run.

If she feels she needs to keep score....there's an issue that will drive a big wedge at some point.

 

[northernlad]

Only to much disagreement and me feeling like what I put my foot down about is stupid, and making me feel like an *******. She usually just replies that she "has changed so much for me" and stuff. And flips it on me -- kind of "what have you ever done for me."

I don't want to just sell her up the river...

This is when you know she's got the hooks in you and you are in real trouble.

 

[Homercidal]

Show her the Time story which indicates that heavy drinkers live longer than non-drinkers (but not as long as moderate drinkers). And moderate drinkers live longest of all. They define moderate drinking as 1-3 drinks per day!

 

[Ringmaster]

Congratulations Man! I'm happy to hear things have eased up a bit.