Stories about Goats

[Tin4]

So...Buffy.

Buffy was fearless. I find fearless often translates to stupid. Buffy was stupid.

She figured out she had free range of the neighborhood, and unlike the dogs on the street, Buffy had horns.

She would roam all day long, eating berries, doing goat things, singing songs about "Baaahhh".

So it's trash day and as always Buffy is eating our trash, the neighbors trash, everyone's trash. She liked trash.

From the distance she sees the trash pick up truck. She knows who it is, she knows what it came for, but will she submit? Will she allow the bastards that come weekly to steal her treasures to defy her again?

She gets in the street. Revs up, because you know goats rev up. Charge!

She starts her battle with a 2 ton garbage truck. Could be 3, I don't know, I don't know much about trash trucks. The trash men, not knowing to make of this, decide that the best option it to slam on their breaks. Like I said, Buffy has horns!

Buffy continues her charge "Bang!". "Bang Bang Bang" as she rams the front of the 4 ton garbage truck. The men inside are trapped in terror. What is this thing? What is it doing? Why does it have horns?

Everything changed after that. They stopped picking up our trash and Buffy was contracted out by our neighbors. Not as a trash remover, but as a protector. She's the hero our neighborhood deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So she was hunted. Because she can take it. Because she's not our hero. She's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A goat.

 

[harleybug88]

Once, me and the wife were driving somewhere and saw a goats for sale sign. We had just bought a house that had a small horse barn. We thought it would be cool to put a couple of goats in it.

We stopped and enquired about the cost. They were cheep, so we bought two pygmy goats.

Well, We're like 30 miles from home... We had a Ford Taurus. How do we get these goats home?

Yup! We put em in the back seat.

It was an interesting ride.

 

[Vamptrump]

Sorry everyone. I was unable to get pictures of me with the "kids". I even wore my HBT shirt. The farmer's market had kittens instead . Maybe another time!

 

[Oginme]

You want kid pics? Here is a short video of triplets born this past March. Mind you they are less than a day old at this filming.

View attachment IMG_0514.MOV

 

[Taiin]

I should have filmed a video of one of my does yesterday. She had a dental problem that needed fixed, so she got some good drugs so the vet could work on her.

When she was recovering, she was totally like "I goat this" but her legs were far less functional than she believed them to be...

 

[gratus fermentatio]

A couple of years ago a friend who lives up near Bull river found a couple of small goats hanging out on his porch. So trying to be a good neighbor, he pens the 2 goats & starts asking around to see if anybody is missing a couple of goats. After several hours, he finally found somebody who knew a guy who kept goats, but the guy lived a few miles down the road & across the river. He called the guy & explained the situation, the guy asks if he can bring the goats home. My friend says he doesn't have a suitable vehicle for transporting livestock & he needs to come pick up his goats. The guy says he doesn't have time & my friend can just keep the goats.

We thought this was a bit odd, but the guy was serious. We asked the guy who told us about the goat owner & he verified that the guy was a bit eccentric, but he was serious. So to make a long story short, we BBQ'd those goats & they were quite tasty. I ate an entire leg all by myself. 2 goats (and side dishes) fed 6 people with plenty of leftovers. I enjoyed eating goat so much, if I had the space to keep a few, I'd certainly do so.
Nom, nom, nom...
Regards, GF.

 

[cannman]

Has anybody read "Goat Song?"

Great goat action that I'm sure beats 50 Shades.

You can buy it here on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416561005/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20

Thank me later

@austin Keep the additional icons coming!

 

[Rick91981]

No story, just a picture. Aran Islands, Ireland 2012.

 

[slym2none]

Gah! -butt!

 

[PlexVector]

No story, just a picture. Aran Islands, Ireland 2012.

No need...one picture is worth a 1000 s

 

[Newsman]

Pros:
1) Never mow your lawn again
2) Real life goaticon
3) Wrestling buddy

Cons:
1) Absolutely none, and don't you dare say otherwise.

Actually Pro #1 is wrong. Sheep will keep your lawn mowed, will not. They'll keep your shrubs trimmed for you, but not your lawn. are browsers, while sheep are grazers.

 

[PlexVector]

Actually Pro #1 is wrong. Sheep will keep your lawn mowed, will not. They'll keep your shrubs trimmed for you, but not your lawn. are browsers, while sheep are grazers.

So then, do s support HTML and java script?

 

[Vamptrump]

So then, do s support HTML and java script?

Yes, but they currently don't have HTML5 support until the next version [Pope Lick Monster]. Also the browser is highly susceptible to the Chupacabra exploit.

 

[hunter_le five]

Actually Pro #1 is wrong. Sheep will keep your lawn mowed, will not. They'll keep your shrubs trimmed for you, but not your lawn. are browsers, while sheep are grazers.

My ignorance is showing.

I know more about werstling s than keeping s

 

[TheCADJockey]

My ignorance is showing.

I know more about werstling s than keeping s

Whatever "werstling" is...

It's ok. My would eat grass until he spit up what looked like a McDonalds shamrock milkshake. So, I would've thought the same.

 

[hunter_le five]

Whatever "werstling" is...

I'd best keep that between me and the

 

[PlexVector]

I'd best keep that between me and the

It was the best of times. It was the werst of times...

 

[PlexVector]

Whatever "werstling" is...

It's ok. My would eat grass until he spit up what looked like a McDonalds shamrock milkshake. So, I would've thought the same.

ummmm...do you know something about shamrock milkshakes we would rather not know?

 

[TheCADJockey]

ummmm...do you know something about shamrock milkshakes we would rather not know?

Yeah.

They look like regurgitated grass puke. I imagine they taste quite similar too.

 

[PlexVector]

Yeah.

They look like regurgitated grass puke. I imagine they taste quite similar too.

Yep...we'd rather not know! Thanks for clearing that up. The puke that is.

 

[bobo31]

When I was younger I was on my friends farm and he had a few goats. One day I observed the largest male goat peeing in to his own mouth. Kind of strange and gross. He had very high flow rate so it was splashing everywhere. True story. Maybe they didn't water it enough beats me.

 

[TheCADJockey]

When I was younger I was on my friends farm and he had a few goats. One day I observed the largest male goat peeing in to his own mouth. Kind of strange and gross. He had very high flow rate so it was splashing everywhere. True story. Maybe they didn't water it enough beats me.

Hrm... kind of..

 

[Grannyknot]

When I was a little kid, before we moved into town, we had about 40 acres out in the country. A large section of the property had an invasive vine overtaking it called "kudzu". My dad thought it would be a good idea to get a goat to clean up the vines because they were full of giant green leaves. Not only did he eradicate the kudzu problem, he also cleaned the branches off any trees, up to about 5 feet high, and ate entire trees that were under that height, basically any sapling or other underbrush.

My dad tried to give him away, but he was old and massive, and nobody wanted him, so he figured he would just let him go, to wander the countryside for the rest of his life. He actually took several weeks to finally wander off the property, but when he did, he left a clear cut path to show the exact direction he had gone up and over the ridgeline. It was like a power line cut through the forest that a utilities company would make so they can maintain their power lines & poles. One day we followed it to see if he was out there. It just kept going and going forever. We eventually had to turn around and go home.

I always wondered how far he had gone and how long he had lived.
I haven't thought about him in probably 5 years until I saw this thread. Thanks.

 

[PlexVector]

When I was a little kid, before we moved into town, we had about 40 acres out in the country. A large section of the property had an invasive vine overtaking it called "kudzu". My dad thought it would be a good idea to get a goat to clean up the vines because they were full of giant green leaves. Not only did he eradicate the kudzu problem, he also cleaned the branches off any trees, up to about 5 feet high, and ate entire trees that were under that height, basically any sapling or other underbrush.

My dad tried to give him away, but he was old and massive, and nobody wanted him, so he figured he would just let him go, to wander the countryside for the rest of his life. He actually took several weeks to finally wander off the property, but when he did, he left a clear cut path to show the exact direction he had gone up and over the ridgeline. It was like a power line cut through the forest that a utilities company would make so they can maintain their power lines & poles. One day we followed it to see if he was out there. It just kept going and going forever. We eventually had to turn around and go home.

I always wondered how far he had gone and how long he had lived.
I haven't thought about him in probably 5 years until I saw this thread. Thanks.

See if it comes up on google earth? What ever damage that was done may have grown back, but you never now what that looks like from above.

 

[azazel1024]

I asked for a ferret when I was a kid; my parents got me a goat. Each day I had to go out and bottle feed it, which was fine I guess. Then one day they put a rubber band around his.. uh.. {censor}nugget hops{censor} and the poor guy made the most terrifying noise I've ever heard. A couple days later one of our dogs was found running around with Billy's {censor}nugget hops{censor} hanging out of its mouth.

Every day since, Billy was a veritable monster. He would head butt our dogs, chase my little brother and he even ate a corner of our barn. He ate about 3 sq. ft. of 100 year old barn wood. I didn't care, he was still my first pet so he was the awesomest.

Fast forward a year, we had some weird man visit our farm. My grandmother met him at some Polish club in the city. A few days later as I was laying in bed one night, I heard a bunch of noise outside and ran out to find a trailer hauling away Billy. He was to be the main course at some celebration.

I didn't even get to say goodbye.

Being as my wife is half polish, I have a fair number of stories that start with "so-and-so at the polish club".

I can't say I personally have a lot of goat stories, but I have a lot friends who do. I'd love to get goats, but I just don't want to deal with the hassles for the small bit of property I have (1 acre). I am planning on getting chickens next spring though. Hoping they'll help with the stink bugs a bit as well as take care of some of the compostables/spent grain.

Eggs + meat good to. Going to split the eggs with my neighbor, so we may get 5 or 6 birds.

Maybe in a few years if we get a larger property.

 

[azazel1024]

When I was younger I was on my friends farm and he had a few goats. One day I observed the largest male goat peeing in to his own mouth. Kind of strange and gross. He had very high flow rate so it was splashing everywhere. True story. Maybe they didn't water it enough beats me.

Male goats pee on their face to attract the females. Goat musk.

Nasty, but I guess whatever the ladies like.

 

[azazel1024]

When I was a little kid, before we moved into town, we had about 40 acres out in the country. A large section of the property had an invasive vine overtaking it called "kudzu". My dad thought it would be a good idea to get a goat to clean up the vines because they were full of giant green leaves. Not only did he eradicate the kudzu problem, he also cleaned the branches off any trees, up to about 5 feet high, and ate entire trees that were under that height, basically any sapling or other underbrush.

My dad tried to give him away, but he was old and massive, and nobody wanted him, so he figured he would just let him go, to wander the countryside for the rest of his life. He actually took several weeks to finally wander off the property, but when he did, he left a clear cut path to show the exact direction he had gone up and over the ridgeline. It was like a power line cut through the forest that a utilities company would make so they can maintain their power lines & poles. One day we followed it to see if he was out there. It just kept going and going forever. We eventually had to turn around and go home.

I always wondered how far he had gone and how long he had lived.
I haven't thought about him in probably 5 years until I saw this thread. Thanks.

A number of southern states are looking at goats as the solution to kudzu.

It is the reason why I don't think I'll get goats unless I can get a much bigger property. I have enough issues worrying about deer and birds stripping my berry bushes and fruit trees, I don't need to worry about goats doing the same.

 

[slym2none]

Male goats pee on their face to attract the females. Goat musk.

Nasty, but I guess whatever the ladies like.

I'll try this on my next date-night.

Whenever that may be... (never)

 

[Grannyknot]

See if it comes up on google earth? What ever damage that was done may have grown back, but you never now what that looks like from above.

Well, that was the mid 80s, so I'd say the landscape looks completely different at this point.

 

[Hamaki]

I'll try this on my next date-night.

Whenever that may be... (never)

Sometimes the does squat & pee in front of me - this is a come on. Makes me wonder if I'm smelling bucky.