Pranks

[harleybug88]

What's the funniest prank you have ever pulled off?

 

[captianoats]

I convinced SWMBO that my cars door handle could read my fingerprint and automatically unlock my door, yet I refused to program hers.

It worked for weeks.

 

[day_trippr]

I wired a squib under the system board of the first of its kind fault tolerant platform we had just gotten running in the lab - and just a few minutes before the VPs arrived to get their look-see.

Only the Chief Engineer could get away with what followed...

Cheers!

 

[JonM]

I've always wanted to try this. Apparently, it works best when you put several in a particular room/apartment, etc. so the patsy never knows how to pinpoint the noise.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/b278/

 

[FloppyKnockers]

For over three years I convinced the company I was "working" for to keep giving me money.

 

[Tinpanharry]

I paid a valet and waiter each $5 on top of their tip to go along with this old gag... After dinner, while starting to pull away from the restaurant, the waiter came out yelling "Stop Stop you didn't pay!" And I pulled away quickly from the restaurant. My wife and our guests looked at me like a crazy man until I circled back and got a high-five from the valet.

 

[harleybug88]

Back when I was a teenager, me, my two brothers and neighborhood friends used to camp-out in a big tent in our back yard.

One night, after it got very late. About 10 or 11 of waited by the side of the road for a car to come along. When we saw the headlights, we pretended to beat and kick my brother! ( he volunteered ) We all then scattered and he dropped to the ground! the car pulled over, a lady got out and screamed " OH MY GOD, HE'S DEAD!' My brother then got up and ran off.

We were all hiding when the cop came shining his spot-light.

 

[Homercidal]

I put salt in the sugar dish. Supposed to be for my sister to find, but my mom had breakfast first and ate salt on her wheaties...

It was a good prank and a very bad day.

Also I have tied some pull-apart firecrackers to kitchen cabinets for my wife to open. I learned that some of the funniest things you cannot laugh out loud at.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

I can't take credit for this one, but a few people my wife works were singing the praises of Yeti coolers one day, but mentioned how expensive they were. From there they managed to convince her that the Yeti Ice they sell (normal ice won't work with Yeti coolers after all) is insanely expensive too.

Gullibility must run in the family, as she pulled the same thing on her mom a few days ago and it worked then too.

 

[JonM]

I've heard about sending the new guy at work out for the board stretcher, the glass magnet, plain sauce for plain hamburgers, and the pizza dough patch repair kit.

 

[hunter_le five]

I've heard about sending the new guy at work out for the board stretcher, the glass magnet, plain sauce for plain hamburgers, and the pizza dough patch repair kit.

Used to manage the recreational facilities for a summer camp, including a couple swimming pools. I would send the new lifeguards to go get pool chemicals from the supply room:

"okay, we need a barrel of muriatic acid, a bucket of calcium hypochlorite, a sack of sodium carbonate... some hydrogen peroxide for the first aid kits...grab a PH test kit while you're in there.... oh yeah, almost forgot! We also need some dihydrogen monoxide. Don't come back without that one, the levels are really low."

They're usually too busy trying to remember the string of chemical names I just rattled off at them to realize what the last one was. Some were quicker than others to realize that they'd never find that one in the supply room, no matter how hard they looked.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Used to manage the recreational facilities for a summer camp, including a couple swimming pools. I would send the new lifeguards to go get pool chemicals from the supply room:

"okay, we need a barrel of muriatic acid, a bucket of calcium hypochlorite, a sack of sodium carbonate... some hydrogen peroxide for the first aid kits...grab a PH test kit while you're in there.... oh yeah, almost forgot! We also need some dihydrogen monoxide. Don't come back without that one, the levels are really low."

They're usually too busy trying to remember the string of chemical names I just rattled off at them to realize what the last one was. Some were quicker than others to realize that they'd never find that one in the supply room, no matter how hard they looked.

That one's a killer... dont breathe in a lungful or you are almost certainly a goner.

 

[motobrewer]

locked a coworker's stuff in the basement once. our team was moving to a different part of the building. he was on vaca during the move, so he texted someone, "have [moto] move my stuff!"

so I did. set up his whole office in a tool cage in the basement. it was pretty well done actually.

best part was the guy who had the key didn't come in until like 9:30 or so. He...missed his 8am meeting....

 

[DrunkleJon]

I put salt in the sugar dish. Supposed to be for my sister to find, but my mom had breakfast first and ate salt on her wheaties...

It was a good prank and a very bad day.

Also I have tied some pull-apart firecrackers to kitchen cabinets for my wife to open. I learned that some of the funniest things you cannot laugh out loud at.

Snap n Pops. The little things you throw on the ground to make a snap. I still ike to put them on top of doors or under the toilet seat. When placed on top of a door in the crack they stay on until either the door is opened and starts swinging closed again, or are pushed off when the door closes. Great for a scare, only works when its not carpeted by the door. As for the toilet seats, when you sit down... at least you are already on the toilet.

Yeah, I am a jerk.

 

[JINKS]

dihydrogen monoxide. .

Saw a news story on how a petition was circulating to ban the use of this chemical as it was building up to potentially dangerous levels in rivers and streams during rainstorms. People were lining up to ban it.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I like the old school ones. Wait for coworker or family member to leave their fountain drink unattended. Tie a knot in the bottom of the straw, and return to original position. Effective.

Sneak into a family member's room on thanksgiving and shortsheet the bed. Call the next day to gloat.

Pick a word frequently in your conversations, but not an article like "the". Often but not constant. If you work in retail, maybe the word is "SKU". If you live with lunatics, perhaps it is "Thorazine"... its up to you. When talking to the victim, quickly tilt your head down to your shoulder and back up each time they say the magic word. This will slowly enrage them over time.

For some reason silently handing my wife a bowl of the popcorn I left on the stove and burned to mini-briquets really annoyed her.

You'd be surprised how much play you can get at age 34 in the year 2014 with a simple joke-store whoopy cushion.

Finally, another prank that has a lot of lead up and a very subtle but satisfying finish is to choose a word you say everyday and mispronounce it subtly. Family Guy has "Cool Hu-whip" which is very good, but I like "appLAtizer". My father has yet to tell me 34 years in that he's been playing this prank on me, but I really cant wait for it to happen.

 

[JonM]

Saw a news story on how a petition was circulating to ban the use of this chemical as it was building up to potentially dangerous levels in rivers and streams during rainstorms. People were lining up to ban it.

It's used as an industrial coolant! It is found in biopsied cancerous tumors! Unprotected contact with its solid or gaseous form can cause tissue damage!

Someone actually went to the trouble of making an MSDS for it. Its specific gravity is listed as 1.000 and its solubility is 100%.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

For some reason I am not wise or smart enough to understand, dihydrogen oxide seems impossible to reproduce under laboratory conditions... seems a relatively easy formula...

 

[Airplanedoc]

I worked as a intern in a large industrial facility in the tool crib/parts department.

We loaned out a bunch of expensive tools to various contractors. One day a guy comes looking for a pipe stretcher. I first told him that he needed a signed note from his supervisor for me to check it out to him. I figured this would be the end of it. About a hour later, the guy comes back with a signed letter from the head guy on site for that company, So I walk him over to the tool crib, and quickly grab the sign out clipboard off the wall. I wander around with him for a minute and find a open space in the crib. I explain to him that this is where the pipe stretcher should be located, then flip thru the papers on the clip board and tell him as I point that some other company has it signed out. After 3 days of doing this to the guy, I finally tell him he should go find the Superintendent of the other company company and see when the pipe stretcher is going to be returned. Next thing I know I have 3 superintendents including mine standing at the window, wanting to know who was responsible for this. Since I was busted, I admitted it was me. the first superintendent wanted to shake my hand, cause he was sure he was getting me, when he sent back the note and there was no way I could weasel out of the situation, but I managed to for 3 days, then managed to get out of it entirely by sending the employee to another company.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I worked as a intern in a large industrial facility in the tool crib/parts department.

We loaned out a bunch of expensive tools to various contractors. One day a guy comes looking for a pipe stretcher. I first told him that he needed a signed note from his supervisor for me to check it out to him. I figured this would be the end of it. About a hour later, the guy comes back with a signed letter from the head guy on site for that company, So I walk him over to the tool crib, and quickly grab the sign out clipboard off the wall. I wander around with him for a minute and find a open space in the crib. I explain to him that this is where the pipe stretcher should be located, then flip thru the papers on the clip board and tell him as I point that some other company has it signed out. After 3 days of doing this to the guy, I finally tell him he should go find the Superintendent of the other company company and see when the pipe stretcher is going to be returned. Next thing I know I have 3 superintendents including mine standing at the window, wanting to know who was responsible for this. Since I was busted, I admitted it was me. the first superintendent wanted to shake my hand, cause he was sure he was getting me, when he sent back the note and there was no way I could weasel out of the situation, but I managed to for 3 days, then managed to get out of it entirely by sending the employee to another company.

You had me until the very end.

 

[Airplanedoc]

Once where I worked there was a employee who kept a vibrating dildo, that looks like a penis in his tool box. He would sneak up behind someone and goose them with it. It turned out that his supervisor was really jumpy, so they had jabbed him with it several times at our preshift coffee machine meeting with our boss. In my group of coworkers there was 1 woman. she had never seen Benny get goosed with the vibrator, because the guys feared they wold get busted for sexual harassment or something. She was getting ready to move on to another are, and mentioned to me that she really wanted to see Benny get goosed. I explained to her why she had never seen it happen, but I would talk to the the 2 guys. They said if they heard it directly from her that it wouldn't be a issue, they would try to get Benny before she left on Friday. A couple days later during our meeting I see one of the guys slip around behind Benny. Now about 8 of us are standing in a circle, I am directly across from Benny, Stephanie is next to me, and our boss is next to her. Next to benny who is 5'5" is Stephanie's replacement, Tony who is 6'5". I see Benny's full coffee and figure it is going to come my way, when benny takes off, so I discretely cap my bottle of orange juice, our boss meanwhile is covering his coffee with this hand.

They goose benny, he yelps, and jumps straight up and throws his full cup of coffee and hits Tony "the new guy who knows nothing about this" just below his chin and soaks into his white shirt. Tony is completely confused. Everybody is laughing, and I look over to see Stephanie's reaction, and she is missing, then I feel a arm wrap around the inside of my knee. Stephanie is laughing so hard she had to squat down to the floor and is about to fall over and is holding on to my leg to keep from falling over.

After the start of the shift, My boss suggested that I run home and take tony to see if I had a shirt he could borrow. Since he lived 60 miles away, he was going to be stuck in his white shirt with coffee all over the front of it on his first day on dayshift.

 

[masonsjax]

I always like messing with guys' cars at their wedding before they leave for the honeymoon. We use alligator clips to connect the brake light fuse to the horn so when they hit the brake pedal the horn blows. I pull the tube off the driver side windshield washer sprayer and run it through a grommet on the firewall so when they spray the windshield their foot gets squirted. Best one is removing the rear license plate and putting it on upsidedown. They usually don't notice but will most definitely get pulled over that night or the next day. Fun times!

 

[Airplanedoc]

Our factory office was being remodeled, so all the bosses were relocated to a double wide construction trailer near one of the loading docks. Quickly a group of pink flamingoes was erected outside near the steps. When the trash needed collected, a sign was put on the garbage bags in a stairwell "trailer trash". A buddy and I decided that we really needed to class the place up a bit, and we located a velvet Elvis in a gaudy faux brass frame, with a light over it. We had it shipped directly to the plant to eliminate the need to sneak it in. To be clear, we are talking about old, fat, jumpsuit Elvis" not young elvis. We took it out one evening and hung it on the wall between our bosses desks. It was super classy when they were interviewing candidates for positions with a fortune 50 company under the glowing light of the king in all his velvet glory. They were never able to figure out exactly who was responsible for it, but they didn't take it down until they moved out either.

 

[Airplanedoc]

Once a remote control fart machine was stashed near the door inside the women's restroom. It was quite entertaining to see the looks on peoples faces, and reactions as they walked by and heard vile sounds emanating from inside.

 

[JonM]

A friend of mine put a remote control fart machine in his GF's chair. In Starbucks.

 

[sfgoat]

I picked up a part time job at a local grocery store that opened up last year (in the weekend manager) and once every two weeks I pick a random kid to shake the salad dressings. They still haven't caught on that it's ridiculous and I just love watching the customers faces when they walk by one of these kids vigorously shaking a bottle of unopened salad dressing.

 

[Airplanedoc]

I've always wanted to try this. Apparently, it works best when you put several in a particular room/apartment, etc. so the patsy never knows how to pinpoint the noise.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/b278/

Those work pretty well. The cricket noise is the best for around the house. I started it in the bedroom once the day before I left for a business trip for a few days. When I came home I after it went off a few times, I announced that I had killed the little bastard.

 

[Airplanedoc]

During college most of my classmates really hated the department head. One of the guys in our class was a member of the S&M club on campus, which afforded him access to all kinds of perversion. He got a copy of some Morbidly Obese Women with ball gags magazine, and some panties the size of a tent, and brought it into class. One of the other guys was a night janitor in the building and got him into the directors office, where he left it open to the centerfold and placed some folders on top of it. The next day the professor teaching our class left and went to the office to make some copies, and came back laughing hysterically. Apparently while he was running a couple copies the secretary went into the directors office and ask him about something. He picked up the folders on the desk and was going thru them to get her the answer. She then saw the magazine/underwear and had a shocked/appalled look on her face when the director looked up from the folder, saw the secretary, then looked down at the desk to find the open centerfold and panties. He **** a brick, not knowing what to do threw her out of the office and closed the door. My professor asked what was going on and she explained what she had just seen on the Director's desk. Sometime later the director came out trying to cover the whole thing up. I'm not sure she ever looked at him the same way again.

 

[b-boy]

This one may take a while to explain:

Everyone has a friend in college who is the guy that gets picked on. We had that guy. His name was Aldo (God rest his soul). Aldo died at a very young age from brain cancer. He was a great guy, not too bright, and a pretty easy mark.

My favorite Aldo story involved a protest that Aldo was involved in at college.

I went to the University of Buffalo. They were planning to close down the student union. A bunch of wanna-be 'hippies' decided to do a sit-in until the administrator of the college changed his mind. Aldo was all in for this because he always saw himself as a hippie.

Aldo went to the sit-in. The police showed up and said anyone who doesn't leave will be arrested. He got up an left. We (his friends) took offense at that. In our eyes if you went to a sit-in, you needed to take the heat from the police. Getting up and leaving showed that you were just there to look cool. We decided to teach him a lesson.

My roomate was able to get his hands on some official UB letterhead. We wrote Aldo a fake letter from the University indicating that he's been identified as a trouble maker and that he was going to be expelled from UB unless he turned himself in to the police. The letter said he had to show up at a specific room/time to meet with school officials and discuss his expulsion, and possible arrest.

Aldo got the letter and freaked out. He showed it to us, and of course we played up the whole thing. We told him he was in a lot of trouble and needed to go to the meeting. We even had a fake phone number he could call to verify the information. A buddy of ours answered the phone and pretented to be a school administrator. We told him he needed to make himself presentable, and not look like a hippie when he went there. We said he'd have a better chance if he looked conservtive (These were the Reagan years). We got him to dress up in his blue suit, complete with a tie. He looked like a young republican when we got through with him.

We sent him off to the meeting. What he didn't know was that we sent him to the Gay Liberation Front meeting at UB. He walked into the meeting, and there was a lot of confusion from both sides as to what he was doing there. That was supposed to be the end of the joke.

Aldo figured out it was the wrong room, but he wasn't smart enough to realize we'd pranked him. He took the letter to his fellow protestors, who were mostly a bunch of burnouts, and showed it to them. They got all upset about the letter and started a mini revolt in the school courtyard. There were a few dozen people chanting 'Bull****, Bull****, Bull****' and waving the letter around.

Well, the cops showed up and were shown the letter. The cops disbursed everyone and gave the letter to UB. Since it was written on official letterhead, it was escalated all the way up the food chain to Albany, which is the main office for the SUNY school systems. About 1 day later we got a panicked call from our fake college administrator letting us know that the Chancelor of the SUNY system called him and was pretty pissed about the incident. We all got hauled in for a hearing at the school, and luckily were let off with a warning.

So we'd pranked Aldo, but his lack of intelligence actually came back to bite us in the ass.

It was still pretty funny though. Ah college - good times!

 

[hunter_le five]

My roomate was able to get his hands on some official UB letterhead.

We played a similar prank on our group's "Aldo" back in college.

We wrote up a fake letter on fake (but very convincing) school letterhead stating that "Aldo" had made some errors in the filing of his graduation application, and that because it was now past the deadline to file the necessary corrective forms, his graduation request was being summarily denied. He would have to return to school for another full semester of classes in the fall, at which point he could re-apply for graduation.

We gave this to him during finals week. He absolutely lost his $#!t for about 15 minutes before we fessed up.