Placental Beer

[ArcaneXor]

Just ferment the placenta itself (as a food) and enjoy it along with some testicle porter.

 

[sudsmcgee]

I think a more reasonable approach would be a mother's milk stout.

 

[Bedlam]

Any legality issues aside, if there were any pathogens in it, wouldn't a 60-90 minute boil take care of that?
..

Nope. Not for certain pathogens. And human-to-human transmission is just so much EASIER than other routes. There are reasons beyond just ethics that steer us as a species away from cannibalism.

Now, if you want to procure a sheep or cow placenta, you would probably be okay. Hell, protein is protein. That's what I always say.

 

[Beerrific]

If your plans include this phrase:

realized the hard part will be getting a plecenta...

Stop. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Sleep it off and try again tomorrow.

 

[FromZwolle]

Yep, cannibalism; not to mention just plain nastiness. What's next on Dr. Frankenstein's "to brew" list? Aborted fetus pale ale, Cadaver Brown, Gallstone Stout? BLECH!
:cross:

teratoma tripel.

 

[theonetrueruss]

so.. since we have twins we're thinking we should use both placentas? Do you think 2 will be overpowering or create any off flavors?

 

[FromZwolle]

you'll want to brew them seperately, then blend to taste at bottling time.

 

[Ace_Club]

Just saying this is a completely weird thread. I could understand if you had some strange tradition where you consumed the placenta after your child was born, but it seems this guy is just trying to procure a rando placenta for fun and games. Kind of like cannibalism if you ask me.

Yep, cannibalism; not to mention just plain nastiness. What's next on Dr. Frankenstein's "to brew" list? Aborted fetus pale ale, Cadaver Brown, Gallstone Stout? BLECH!
:cross:

You can't tell me that the thought of what human flesh would taste like hasn't crossed your mind. I've wondered, and if the chance came up would take a taste.

Additionally, this is the biggest bonus, in my mind, of the current obesity epidemic. If my plane ever goes down in the Andes, not only do they provide me extra cushioning during the crash, but I could feast like a king.

 

[FrFtr28]

so.. since we have twins we're thinking we should use both placentas? Do you think 2 will be overpowering or create any off flavors?

I didn't get any results when I searched my local Craigslist for 'placenta'. So it's good you have your own. You should do an experiment and make two separate batches. First wort placenta one and dry placenta the other and post back with your results.

 

[Homercidal]

Very soon after acquiring your placenta, can it under pressure. I think the combination of heat and pressure will kill anything. Then you will have a small supply of placenta handy for the spur of the moment brewing.

 

[pksmitty]

Did you ever hear about the cannibal who was walking through the jungle when he passed his brother?


(Give it a minute)

 

[viking73]

Hell, protein is protein. That's what I always say.

Hmm...nah, I'll leave this alone...

 

[Homercidal]

Hmm...nah, I'll leave this alone...

Someone already did that on American Pie...

 

[Doog_Si_Reeb]

I'm horrified and fascinated... this is so much worse than stories of people getting their "red wings." It's typically a good rule that liquids or solids that come out of the human body should not go back in.

For the BJCP certified judges out there. What would you do if you were judging category 23 and the special ingredient was placenta?

 

[curlyfat]

I just ate my wife's placenta raw right when it came out. You see, a lot of times when you cook (or even ferment) a food, you lose a lot of nutrients. I suggest just grabbing it and pulling it out with your teeth and don't stop chewing!

 

[Sean]

You can't tell me that the thought of what human flesh would taste like hasn't crossed your mind. I've wondered, and if the chance came up would take a taste.

Additionally, this is the biggest bonus, in my mind, of the current obesity epidemic. If my plane ever goes down in the Andes, not only do they provide me extra cushioning during the crash, but I could feast like a king.

You're gonna want a human with some marbling. Like a big one who also moves around a bit.

Luck!

 

[Joemama474]

You can't tell me that the thought of what human flesh would taste like hasn't crossed your mind. I've wondered, and if the chance came up would take a taste.

Additionally, this is the biggest bonus, in my mind, of the current obesity epidemic. If my plane ever goes down in the Andes, not only do they provide me extra cushioning during the crash, but I could feast like a king.

Uhhh... Remind me to never fly with you. You wouldn't think of me as fat, you'd say my meat is "well-marbled". Predator.

 

[Ryno]

I think you should put it on a smoker for a while and do a Smoked Placenta Porter. Or stuff it with hops and brew a IIPA. Good luck!

 

[GodsStepBrother]

You could use the Amniotic birthing fluid as the brewing liquor, just set your pale bucket on the floor during birth. Though I don’t know how that would affects the PH of the mash. I am sure it would give it huge character and a very well rounded dimensionality, once you dry hop with the dried placenta.

Beer advocate would blow up with a new ranking system for said beer. Seriously I am grossing myself out, on how this might taste…. I got to go.:cross:

 

[rycov]

mash in with the amneotic fluid, FW placenta, and dry hop with the **** that comes out while she's pushing that little sucker outta there. that way you get the fetusy birthy flavor as your back bone, and a nice bright fecal aroma.

 

[TwoDollarBill]

I motion we refer to aging the beer with placenta as "dry plopping"... any seconds?

 

[rycov]

I motion we refer to aging the beer with placenta as "dry plopping"... any seconds?

yes!

 

[GodsStepBrother]

all opposed

 

[GodsStepBrother]

twodollarbill, motion passes dry plopping it is.

 

[gregger]

My god. I can't believe it. This literally tops everything I have ever read here on HBT, and probably on all of the internets.

That said... You know I would probably boil it and actually cook it with no spices, then use the water in your wort. Since you'll probably vomit in the boil, make sure to allow it to boil at least another hour in order to kill anything off. Geez they could put that on a TV show. Someone call HBO.

 

[ksbrain]

OK so I have a placenta in my freezer right now, from my 10 day old who was birthed right here in my own home. The midwives won't throw the placenta out for you... I'll have to "take care of it" myself.

Only problem is my wife wouldn't let me use my brewing buckets to help fill the birthing tub because they were too "dirty". So I didn't catch any of the amniotic fluid! The fact that the buckets have mostly held just sanitizer in them for the last two years seemed lost on her while she was pushing out the baby.

Now, for the record, that **** that comes out with the baby is meconium. Or something. And you'd need plenty of vernix to make it a truly birth day beer.

One last gem. My current facebook picture is a photo of the placenta that the midwife took. It (the placenta) was/is heart-shaped, which seemed pretty special to her. And I thought it would be the most offensive of all the birth photos to choose for my profile pic.

I'm just wondering when do I get to brew again... this baby's already over a week old and no amylase has been active in the basement. Time to get over it and make some beer! At least I kegged the wheat the other day (signature still not updated)

 

[rycov]

Now, for the record, that **** that comes out with the baby is meconium. Or something. And you'd need plenty of vernix to make it a truly birth day beer.

yeah. that's actually from the baby. i was talking about the actual **** that comes out of the lady when she's pushing. but i didn't think about meconium (is that spelled right?) that brings it to a whole new level. at which point should we add the meconium?

 

[MazdaMatt]

*puke*

 

[IrregularPulse]

Meconium is the word for the babies first poops. That dense black goop you changed the first day or 3 of diaper changes. If meconium came out then the baby pooped in the womb. My first child did this and it made for some concern of the doctor because it can cause respiratory problems with the baby and possible pneumonia if the baby breathes it in. My boy ended up not affected, but we were lucky that they decided to break my wife's water when they did and we found out early.

 

[BlackDogBrewing]

My wife is due in August...