No more AG for me :(

[Gfei]

I brew outside on the car port for the very same reason.

 

[rambler]

Wow...You definitely have yourself an uphill battle!! There really is no option but for you to stand your ground. If not just for brewing but for your dignity as a human being.

There are many threads about the "SWMBO" acronym, and this is why it drives me nuts. Here is a prime example of why its totally out of line.

What happens if you brew again? What happens the next time you contradict her will in any other way? Should you have to worry about something as harmless as a smell that is unpleasing to her. Simply put "F@%K THAT"!! And as for the inlaws SO WHAT!!!. Its your house!

Its unfortunate that you have to be in this situation, but here you are. Now its just time to decide the best way to go forward. No one wants to lose a marriage over something like beer, but this actually goes far deeper than that. This is the reason that this country declared itself free from the Brits. No, not beer but basic human dignity. No one TELLS me what to do. I can be reasoned with, shared with ,and yes even compromise, but to have an EDICT handed to me in my own home F$@K THAT,

I hate to say it but I'd tell her to POUND SAND until she learns how to treat you like a man.

Fortunately no one can revoke your MAN CARD, only you can give it away.

 

[beersteiner2345]

To the OP, what people are having trouble processing here is not that she asked you to stop brewing in the house. That is fine, if she has ASKED you.

Here is how people with a HEALTHY relationship work this stuff out.

Wife: "Hey, lately when you have been brewing the smell is really awful and I am not a fan. Is there anything we can do to where you can still enjoy your hobby without offending my olfactory bulbs?"

You: "Why yes. Yes there is. I can either set up brewing outside, or brew with the windows open on a day you're out with the girls. And I thank you for respecting me and not being a demanding beehatch like this guy on the brewing forum's wife is."

 

[gclay]

You need to understand how women communicate. They never just come out and say anything, you need to read the signals and subtle hints.

You HEARD it as a complaint about the smell.
But it was really an invitation to do the right thing and buy an outdoor turkey fryer.
And it will help if you also buy some flowers too.

She's usually pretty straight forward with what she wants or says. I guess I Could Have bought her flowers, It was our anniversary.

I'm going to keg before I buy a fryer, cheapest one in town is $70. I have 11 gallons sitting in carboys and primarys.

We have a sloped backyard so I have to wait until we build a deck to brew in back or the fryer would probably tip. My mother in law is very sensitive to things in the air, she's battling lung cancer and everyone's paranoid, no air fresheners or anything in the house.

Gerald

 

[gclay]

To the OP, what people are having trouble processing here is not that she asked you to stop brewing in the house. That is fine, if she has ASKED you.

Here is how people with a HEALTHY relationship work this stuff out.

Wife: "Hey, lately when you have been brewing the smell is really awful and I am not a fan. Is there anything we can do to where you can still enjoy your hobby without offending my olfactory bulbs?"

You: "Why yes. Yes there is. I can either set up brewing outside, or brew with the windows open on a day you're out with the girls. And I thank you for respecting me and not being a demanding beehatch like this guy on the brewing forum's wife is."

Lol nice, what color is the sky in your world? purple with yellow polk-a-dots?

Sounds like someone's been to counselling.

Real life ---

What the <beep> is tha t<beep>ing smell
My beer
Wtf you have 25 gallons you just brewed this month
yeah, but they're all different
who cares, no more until that 's done
<tucking tail between legs> yes dear.

That's how reality works.

 

[beersteiner2345]

My mother in law is very sensitive to things in the air, she's battling lung cancer and everyone's paranoid, no air fresheners or anything in the house.

Gerald

OK, having read this, I retract my post above. I am sure your wife is stressed to the max over her mom, and normally not like that.

Best of luck to you two and her mom. Cancer is a real crappy hand to be dealt.

Given this situation, I would do anything I could to no further frustrate your wife. Good call.

 

[beersteiner2345]

Lol nice, what color is the sky in your world? purple with yellow polk-a-dots?

Sounds like someone's been to counselling.

Real life ---

What the <beep> is tha t<beep>ing smell
My beer
Wtf you have 25 gallons you just brewed this month
yeah, but they're all different
who cares, no more until that 's done
<tucking tail between legs> yes dear.

That's how reality works.

Maybe your reality. Never been to counseling, we just both respect eachother. See my post above, however.

 

[HSB]

This would have gone a lot better for you if you had stated "Being close to a Saint I have invited my cancer stricken MIL into my house for care. Unfortunately it is lung cancer and I think the smell of brewing may be bad for this..."

Or something along those lines. Whatever, the way this story is progressing, the least of you concerns should be the grief of a internet discussion.

And this all went down on your anniversary?

Best of luck.

 

[Airborneguy]

That's how reality works.

In your house maybe.

 

[KellyK]

I feel so sorry for those whose spouse/SO doesn't share in the wonder of beer as it can be an amazing mutual hobby. My husband and I had a 3 tier custom built for our 4th wedding anniversary. 7 years brewing together, 6 years of wedded bliss.

 

[rambler]

Yeh, that would have been some pertinent info to know, before you raise every man hackle on this site.

Forgive me if this sounds insensitive too but: Are there any smells allowed in your house? Couldn't this be considered "aromatherapy" or something? I'm no doctor but i dont think there is any thing harmful about the smell/effects of cooking wort, but if she is worried (for good reason) than of course you have to be sensitive to that. Thats actually a proper use of your man card.

BTW- if you didnt get yor wife flowers on you aniv. SHAME ON YOU, you brought this on yourself!...LOL

 

[beerloaf]

My wife likes the smell also and also likes to drink the "blond" type beers. I brew in the garage due to being a messy little beast (as she tells me) and it's much easier to clean up. I haven't graduated up to all grain yet, but I'm considering building a multiple stage system to make things easier.

beerloaf

 

[bovineblitz]

Lol nice, what color is the sky in your world? purple with yellow polk-a-dots?

Sounds like someone's been to counselling.

Real life ---

What the <beep> is tha t<beep>ing smell
My beer
Wtf you have 25 gallons you just brewed this month
yeah, but they're all different
who cares, no more until that 's done
<tucking tail between legs> yes dear.

That's how reality works.

Yikes. Glad that's not my life.

 

[redcoat_or_rebel]

Sounds like you have two options here. Divorce or brew outside. If you go the divorce route make sure she doesn't take your brewing equipment.

its cheaper to keep her

 

[MeatyPortion]

The next time your wife farts tell her it's her last.

 

[IrregularPulse]

Lol nice, what color is the sky in your world? purple with yellow polk-a-dots?

Sounds like someone's been to counselling.

Real life ---

What the <beep> is tha t<beep>ing smell
My beer
Wtf you have 25 gallons you just brewed this month
yeah, but they're all different
who cares, no more until that 's done
<tucking tail between legs> yes dear.

That's how reality works.

Yikes. Glad that's not my life.

Ditto.

I am sorry to hear about the situation and agree that if it's a bother to your MIL during her treatment, it's just beer. But once that is gone, the wife's behavior would definitely not be accepted.

 

[Homercidal]

I'd recommend getting a burner and large pot before kegging. I know you said you have carboys sitting and waiting to be taken care of, but the full boil will help make better beer AND allow you do brew outside (Should not be hard to place some bricks or blocks out there to level the burner...)

Sucks to have to bottle a couple of batches, but I think the benefits of having a burner and a way of brewing without inconveniencing anyone is worth the effort.

 

[Malintent]

They should smell exactly the same?????????? Does not make sense.

Boiling extract smells (to me) like a bladder infection.

AG mash and boil smells (to me) like breakfast.

WTF.

 

[gclay]

It's a give and take marriage, I give she takes after 7 years there's gotta be a few things she's given in to.... hmmm my $4000 robotics adventure a few years ago, Model rocketry where I almost blew up our son, constant computer upgrades.

I give in where I have to, I usually get what I want. We all like the smell of the mash, just the hops smell like as she puts it wet dog food.

I guess it's time to let this thread die, I'll just stick to "not being a man" Man card given, shredded, burned and buried in dog crap.

Gerald

 

[leviticus]

This thread has become too frustrating to read any longer. Unsubscribed.

 

[rambler]

We all have to throw up the white flag at times I guess. This may not be a hill to die on for you.

I'll go brew a batch up in your place,and have my wife help me.

 

[malkore]

Ummm, so how are you making extract kits without the same smells??

Grain vs. Extract...you still hop it and boil it. Unless you're using those pre-hopped/no-boil cans of extract...

 

[SpanishCastleAle]

Never failed, at 3:15, child number one would come in "Hi mom! OMG, it stinks in here!!! You BREWED today! Ewwwww!" Five minutes later, the routine would be repeated by child number two.

Never mind that their hockey/gym clothes/basketball shoes had enough stench to knock out a small army. I told them that I had a solution- that in my home, they just didn't have to breathe on Wednesdays. When they had their own home, they could breath every day if they wanted, since they would then be paying for their own air.

Once again, Yooper's wisdom rises above. Just tell her; "Yooper said it's best that you stop breathing."

...after 7 years...

Wait, isn't 7 years some sort of milestone in a marriage? Like if you don't take your nads back by then they will, by common law, become hers?

 

[beerloaf]

I'm in charge when she's not home!

beerloaf

 

[edmanster]

This is funny!! I brewed up a saison yesterday and was mashing when SWMBO came home from work and she walks in and says "what smells good". Then she saw that I was starting my brew day and then took it back...lol... The kids love the smell and the taste of the gyle but then the hops go in and it's a different story... I did get SWMBO to drink a beer last week tho.. It was a blueberry cream ale.. She lost count after 2...lol

 

[Homercidal]

My wife didn't like the smell at first either, but now the whole family kind of enjoys it.

 

[beersteiner2345]

It's a give and take marriage, I give she takes after 7 years there's gotta be a few things she's given in to.... hmmm my $4000 robotics adventure a few years ago, Model rocketry where I almost blew up our son, constant computer upgrades.

I give in where I have to, I usually get what I want. We all like the smell of the mash, just the hops smell like as she puts it wet dog food.

I guess it's time to let this thread die, I'll just stick to "not being a man" Man card given, shredded, burned and buried in dog crap.

Gerald

This actually makes me sad to see. Unsubscribing because ignorance is bliss. Although I appreciate your thread as it makes me appreciate my marriage that much more.

 

[KuntyBrew]

I hate to say it but I'd tell her to POUND SAND until she learns how to treat you like a man.

Fortunately no one can revoke your MAN CARD, only you can give it away.

I'd rather say yes dear so I wont be pounding something else

 

[Priemus]

Without reading all the pages of replys I have to point out....

Extract needs to be boiled with some hops as well, what does leaving the world of AG do to solve the smell (which I love, and thankfully so does SWMBO)?

 

[jtakacs]

my ex wife tried to make me feel bad about my hobbies.

 

[Acoma]

Gerald you have to understand where guys are coming from when you start off saying that your wife basically is no longer allowing you to do what you like. The parents living downstairs and lung cancer issue is a whole other ballgame.

I'm with Revvy and think you should seriously get a propane burner and take your hobby outside. If all grain is a potential problem then I'd only guess extract also raises eyebrows. If your backyard isnt fit you can always do it out front. It sounds like you had a pretty successful first AG batch and hopefully you stick at it. These are all just suggestions. It's your wife and your life, just expect to get a whole wide array of answers on an internet forum especially when you start off by stating your wife shut you down (without good reason).

I've been married for >4 years and with the same one for over a decade and I know all about how to compromise and not getting punked. Neither one of us tell the other what to do. Some buddies have that issue with their girls so I understand where youre coming from.

My mother in law just came in town this past weekend and my guest bathroom tub had a primary of IIPA soaking in it and my kitchen counter had a bottle tree full of empties getting ready to go for Saturday morning and not a single second look from the wife. (Of course I got her an iPad 2 for her birthday and took her out to dinner after bottling my Belgian Wit).

Good luck to you and your family. Oh yeah, it's better late than never on the flowers. That could be the whole reason your wife was set off to begin with.

 

[wildwest450]

As for her having my balls, I choose the battles I can win. I wonder out of all the "balls" replies how many are actually married or in a long term relationship? Just a question.
Gerald

Married 8 months out of high school, just passed the 23 year mark. Seldom if ever fight or argue. She does what she wants and I do what I want, it's amazing how that works.

_

 

[MeatyPortion]

Married almost 3 years. My wife would never pull this on me.

 

[edmanster]

12 in july for me.. She may not like but she likes me happy....

 

[Zixxer10R]

.......................... maybe i am missing something but how does the smell that bothered her change between extract and all-grain? I am guessing the boils is what "stunk" up the house (with awesomeness).

You have to boil using extract. I don't get it lol. Suck it up and take the heat from the wife.

"with awesomness" in the voice and timbre of Barney Stinson on HIMYM.

Love it.

 

[Airborneguy]

Married twice... why? Because the first one acted exactly how you are portraying yours in this thread. She got jettisoned after only 2 years and thankfully, no kids. I subsequently found someone who doesn't tell me what to do.

 

[Revvy]

Am I the only one who wants to know how he almost blew up his son with model rocketry?

 

[edmanster]

Am I the only one who wants to know how he almost blew up his son with model rocketry?

Bahaha.. Me too me too...

 

[Priemus]

After reading through all the posts (took a while) Ill come back with this.

While it is still not said why extract smells different than AG (cept can and kilo) I have to point something out from my life.

SWMBO LOVES the smell of beer being made. Lucky, because There is no way she whom must be obeyed would allow me to go out and spend several hundred dollars of our communal and scarce cash on the equipment to brew outside.

The only reason I can do partial boils and BIAB is because we had a PREEXISTING pot to boil crabs

So before everyone just says "go buy a brew rig and a gas burner" remember that some of us brew on a tight budget.

...that aside, yeah, she needs to accept that you have a hobby that stinks (stinks?) up the kitchen for an hour or 2 every few weeks. She just has to deal with that. Its a few hours a week, a day or so out of a year. Is that small amount of time not worth your happyness?

P.s.
Taking donations of a mill, 30+ leter pot, gas burners, bottles, mas tun (or a cooler box)...and why not throw in a kegging system?

 

[mattd2]

She's usually pretty straight forward with what she wants or says. I guess I Could Have bought her flowers, It was our anniversary.

So did you actually do anything nice for her on your anniversary? If not I am guessing she might of been pretty annoyed that you don't seem to care and she just burst at the first thing that slightly got to her - the straw that broke the camal's back. I don't know you or your wife or the relationship you two have and this is a text forum so I have no idea how you intended your comments to sound but in all honesty that comment makes you sound like a complete ****** that doesn't care and your relationship sounds to us outsiders like a tit for tat battle and not one built on mutual respect and understanding of each other... just my $0.02 on someone I don't know's life