New "Breaking Dawn" movie has teeth.....

[cheezydemon3]

Couldn't help myself. Read an article on the New Twilight ******-fest "Breaking Dawn 2".
http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/15/showbiz/movies/breaking-dawn-2-review-charity/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

It says that heads roll, blood spills, etc. Yes....in a vampire movie! Like right???

What are they thinking.

I have to admit that I half-heartedly fantasized about buying all the rights to the series, having Rob Zombie direct the final installment where Ed and whatsherface get RIPPED to pieces by some real vampires while whatshisface gets anally raped by some real werewolves.

As much as I'd like to think that somebody has done this, there is absolutely no way.

There is not enough blood and gore to cover up the apallingly bad directing and acting. (not to mention the apathetic approach to [what should be] AWESOME supernatural death machines)

 

[nukebrewer]

You take that back! Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are brilliant actors.

 

[passedpawn]

My wife and daughter are at the movie as we speak. I'm waiting for the paint to dry on my keezer collar. Then I'm installing it. Woot!

 

[xdalisx]

An employee of mine took his gf to the midnight on Thursday and he said there was a scene toward the end where just about every character gets their head ripped off and they all die in grotesque ways. He said the entire theater was screaming and crying and people started to walk out.

Turns out it was all a dream in the movie and no one died.

Would have been better if they actually died.

 

[headbanger]

My wife and I, formerly oblivious to twilight subculture, decided to go see the new bond film this evening.. the theater had to delay start times on every film showing by 30 minutes since the line was so long and filled with twilight folk. In hindsight I really wish those people could have their own line far away from my line so that i would not have to hear about vampire conjecture to the point of pre-orgasmic giddiness the whole time I'm standing there waiting to pay for the privilege. The saddest part of the whole deal was the that the three fat chicks and one gay guy that were standing behind me talking all this twilight trash like they wanted to yell it from the rooftops were either middle aged or rapidly approaching so. I really had a hard time enjoying the bond flick after that as I pondered the now apparent (to me) fact that, we, as a society are pretty much screwed.. it's really only a matter of time at this point enjoy it while you can.

 

[dfc]

I'm so glad you weren't endorsing twilight. The thread title gave me the impression you did.

 

[Goofynewfie]

They need a twilight/blade crossover

 

[fujieagle]

My wife and daughters are huge Twilight fans. They all seem to get upset when I accuse them of being into necrophelia and bestiality. Hey man, I calls em as I sees em.

 

[dfc]

My wife watches all of those vampire shows/movies as well. She laughed when I told her the plot of one of them I had never seen before.

Girl "I love you"
Vampire Guy "No, I'm a vampire"
Girl "I don't care"
Vampire Guy "THERE'S A WEREWOLF! BRAGGGGHHHHHHH!"

The vampire guy then fights the werewolf.

 

[Euripidez]

I saw this with my wife the other day.
The vampire girls are pretty good looking.

And she bought me a four-pack of SN Narwhal and we had a fabulous evening as "thanks" for buying tickets and going to it.

:rockin:

 

[JonM]

Rifftrax came up in another Twilight thread and I'm glad it did. With Rifftrax, that movie is hysterically funny.

Edward: We think of ourselves as vegetarians because we only drink the blood of animal.
Rifftrax: Well then you're either confused or stupid.

 

[Homercidal]

Twilight - Where the dudes are hotter than the chick.

 

[JonM]

Twilight - Where the dudes are hotter than the chick.

Haha! Reminds me of an outtake from Austin Powers. Fat Bastard walks up to Rob Lowe, stares at him for a while and says "Christ! You're prettier than most girls I've shagged!"

 

[cheezydemon3]

Three hundred pages after "Oh, you like me too? No way, I thought you hated me!", the plot arrives late to the party, drunk, in a beat-up '53 Chevy pick-up truck. It drives away about fifty pages later and crashes into a tree, gets sent to the hospital, and is rarely heard from again throughout the course of the series.



Read more: http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/#ixzz2CgQPU62S.

Cracked has it figured

 

[CoalCracker]

My fiance and sister were supposed to go. Sister got sick leaving fiance with a ticket. I bit the bullet. There was one good scene towards the end. That was it.. I also had a great night for going...

 

[mcbaumannerb]

This is a pretty good summary of the entire Twilight franchise.

 

[cheezydemon3]

This is a pretty good summary of the entire Twilight franchise.

THAT IS IT!!!!!!!

I thought it was cracked!!

 

[Bedlam]

I would like to say, as the spokesperson for women approaching middle age, that most of us do not care for Twilight. It is insipid and we don't like girly boys. We like our men to be men and our vampires to not be sparkly. Nothing other than the actual gates of Heaven or a good Belgian beer should be sparkly.

And remember that I am an official spokesperson.

 

[landshark]

Lucky my wife isn't into the whole twilight thing. Sister and mom went to see it and sister said when the head ripping and killing scene came up she was laughing thewhole time cause it wasn't supposed to be there.

Nasferatu is still my favorite vampire movie. Guess I'm just old school.

Dracula, dead and loving it maybe a close second.

 

[JonM]

Dracula, dead and loving it maybe a close second.

 

[dfc]

This is the only way I can watch Twilight.

 

[headbanger]

Here's one the MRS sent me...

 

[dfc]

Haha, awesome.