More Brain Patties

[b-boy]

I like this thread. It has a Henny Youngman/Don Rickles feel to it...

 

[Billy-Klubb]

The Bladder Sling is just the Time Warp without the hop to the right.

it's the pelvic thrust that really drives them insane.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

This cannot be true for women at the extremes of obesity, it just can't.

This might take a few seconds to load, and it's preceded by a commercial...
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/296201
Regards, GF.

 

[vanishingpint]

Do Brits turn left on red?

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Why is there no dessert with breakfast? Even if you have a dessert item for breakfast, it's not dessert, it's just breakfast. And come to think of it, dessert at lunch isn't all that common.
Regards, GF.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Pretend for a moment you own a convenience store or a bodega (if you actually do then this wont be a stretch).

One day out of nowhere a 10 foot tall green lizard man with a long tail comes in. You and the patrons are terrified.

He goes to the cooler, gets a carton of milk, and brings it to the front desk, putting down a $5 bill, indicating the intention to make a purchase. Still shaking, you ring him up. He takes his change, nods his big lizardman head, and leaves.

Over the next week your town or neighborhood is abuzz with rumors about the 10' tall lizard man. Apparently he has been there for about a week, but every interaction people have had with him has been similar. No words spoken, but nothing frightening actually happens other than the huge man's presence.

Over the next month he returns to your store several times to purchase milk, and each time its the same, a brief encounter ending in a purchase. Difference now is you have exchanged hellos and he has thanked you verbally once or twice.

A month after that, not only does he no longer frighten you but you've had a short, reasonably pleasant conversation about the weather. His lack of objectionable action coupled with your willingness to come to no immediate conclusions about the threat level he posed lead to a situation that works for all involved.

I am actively searching for an argument I can leverage this allegory in...

 

[SnakeRidge]

When I was growning up, we had a lizardman loose in the swamps. He chewed up a couple of cars as I remember. I don't think he was fit for polite society.

Yep, it's true. Wikipedia says so:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lizard_Man_of_Scape_Ore_Swamp

 

[gratus fermentatio]

How does this lizardman react to a picture of Spiderman?

 

[DrunkleJon]

Pretend for a moment you own a convenience store or a bodega (if you actually do then this wont be a stretch).

One day out of nowhere a 10 foot tall green lizard man with a long tail comes in. You and the patrons are terrified.

He goes to the cooler, gets a carton of milk, and brings it to the front desk, putting down a $5 bill, indicating the intention to make a purchase. Still shaking, you ring him up. He takes his change, nods his big lizardman head, and leaves.

Over the next week your town or neighborhood is abuzz with rumors about the 10' tall lizard man. Apparently he has been there for about a week, but every interaction people have had with him has been similar. No words spoken, but nothing frightening actually happens other than the huge man's presence.

Over the next month he returns to your store several times to purchase milk, and each time its the same, a brief encounter ending in a purchase. Difference now is you have exchanged hellos and he has thanked you verbally once or twice.

A month after that, not only does he no longer frighten you but you've had a short, reasonably pleasant conversation about the weather. His lack of objectionable action coupled with your willingness to come to no immediate conclusions about the threat level he posed lead to a situation that works for all involved.

I am actively searching for an argument I can leverage this allegory in...

I am sure I could fit it into a conversation with my aunt (rabidly follows Glen Beck, is insistant that if the Muslims had it t heir way, everyone would be wearing a burka) when talking politics and religion.

She is fun to talk with, she is in no way understanding or fair in her arguments, but is so blinded by her beliefs that I just sit back and laugh at her and bait her with arguments that there is no way she will agree with. Is it bad that I enjoy our "fun conversations" that embarass the heck out of her family where she thinks she is being civil.

When I was growning up, we had a lizardman loose in the swamps. He chewed up a couple of cars as I remember. I don't think he was fit for polite society.

Yep, it's true. Wikipedia says so:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lizard_Man_of_Scape_Ore_Swamp

Sounds to me like a good excuse for damage to your car and others from falling asleep at the wheel/drunk driving.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

If -let or -lette is a diminutive suffix meaning small or petite, how many eggs would you need for an om?

 

[CreamyGoodness]

If someone wishes you a nice weekend on a Friday morning, and you respond with "have a nice day" you actually owe them wishes for two nice days.

I started my day off in debt of sorts.

 

[slym2none]

If -let or -lette is a diminutive suffix meaning small or petite, how many eggs would you need for an om?

Think about how many it is for an OM NOM NOM!

 

[Homercidal]

If someone wishes you a nice weekend on a Friday morning, and you respond with "have a nice day" you actually owe them wishes for two nice days.

I started my day off in debt of sorts.

No. You have a perfect right to limit your good will to the period of time stated.

Have a nice 2 hours this morning, Creamy. No, you can't bank those 2 hours to use whenever you decide to.

 

[GHBWNY]

My grandfather was a butcher and a very angry Baptist. He lived his life like he had a personal vendetta against cows and children.

Wasn't Ward Cleaver a butcher?

 

[DrunkleJon]

I am against the whole have a nice day or have a great weekend thing. What if the person doesn't want to have a nice day? Why should they be forced to have a good day when they may want to spend it mourning a family member or wallowing in self pity. Those are necessary, but not exactly 'nice' things that need to be done.

 

[vanishingpint]

What if someone told you to have nice day,and you agreed to but secretly had a bad day? That would not be having a good day by their standards but it might be by yours .Then what? Now my brain hurts.:smack:

 

[Homercidal]

What if someone told you to have nice day,and you agreed to but secretly had a bad day? That would not be having a good day by their standards but it might be by yours .Then what? Now my brain hurts.:smack:

Well, that's the thing!

 

[Homercidal]

Also:

"What do you mean?" he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

 

[GHBWNY]

What if someone told you to have nice day,and you agreed to but secretly had a bad day? That would not be having a good day by their standards but it might be by yours .Then what? Now my brain hurts.:smack:

In our neck of the woods, it is no longer "Have a nice day."

It's "Have a good one."

I always wonder, but have never asked, "Have a good what?" While I presume "good one" is simply a substitution for "nice day", who can know for sure? Afterall, it could mean have a good laugh, a good cry, a good meal, a good ride home with your groceries, a good time mowing your lawn, a good homebrew (which goes without saying)... who really knows?

And I'm always reluctant to say 'thank you' because I have no idea exactly what "good one" it is this unknown 19-year old check-out associate presumes applies to me.

 

[DrunkleJon]

In our neck of the woods, it is no longer "Have a nice day."

It's "Have a good one."

I always wonder, but have never asked, "Have a good what?" While I presume "good one" is simply a substitution for "nice day", who can know for sure? Afterall, it could mean have a good laugh, a good cry, a good meal, a good ride home with your groceries, a good time mowing your lawn, a good homebrew (which goes without saying)... who really knows?

And I'm always reluctant to say 'thank you' because I have no idea exactly what "good one" it is this unknown 19-year old check-out associate presumes applies to me.

That phrasing is referring to a bowel movement. I think they are trying to tell you that you are acting all plugged up.

Too much? This is a brain (cow) patties thread after all.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

I always wonder, but have never asked, "Have a good what?" While I presume "good one" is simply a substitution for "nice day", who can know for sure? Afterall, it could mean have a good laugh, a good cry, a good meal, a good ride home with your groceries, a good time mowing your lawn, a good homebrew (which goes without saying)

Yes.

 

[Homercidal]

"Have a good one!" is probably the most versatile of all of the well wishing phrases. It's literally useful in ANY circumstance!

Having in-law's over for the holidays? There ya go! Court Date? Yes, please!

I mean, where WOULDN'T you be able to use it??

Having a vasectomy? Who wants to hear, "Have a bad one!"

Nope.

 

[slym2none]

Also:

"What do you mean?" he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

I know I have read that before... HHGttG?

 

[PeteNMA]

The Hobbit

 

[slym2none]

Aha! Thankee-sai!