Mens #1 probably fits us all

[Brewiz]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading and invading America..........
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK." She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER." She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY." She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE." She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND." She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD." She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY." She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS." She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you. She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP." She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS." She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER." She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT." He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER." He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME." He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING." He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER." He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK." He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS." He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG." He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT." He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY." He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants. It's his "REAR CLEAVAGE."

 

[Brewpastor]

My standard PC justification for my weak memory is the fact that I "experimented in my Youth."

 

[Cheesefood]

My standard PC justification for my weak memory is the fact that I "experimented in my Youth."

Not me. I smoked so much pot that the Zig-Zag guy has a tattoo of me on his arm. The Graffix jester has a bong in the shape of MY head.

That's my excuse.

 

[sudsmonkey]

Not me. I smoked so much pot that the Zig-Zag guy has a tattoo of me on his arm. The Graffix jester has a bong in the shape of MY head.

That's my excuse.

Beautiful, man ! But did you inhale ?:rockin:

 

[Radarbrew]

Ever been to the TOWN of ZigZag? Look it up. In Oregon down from Timberline, or so my foggy memory serves.
I love those round table things on "That 70's Show". Takes me back......

 

[AllHoppedUp]

Not me. I smoked so much pot that the Zig-Zag guy has a tattoo of me on his arm. The Graffix jester has a bong in the shape of MY head.

That's nothin'! I didn't smoke pot, pot smoked me!! Oh wait . . . is that a public service anouncement? Or did that really happen? I can't seem to remember . . .